fizzzi

very nice update. lagay rahoooooooooo

kmaal zhanat se likhi ja ri he kahani, dr kia mind paya he , aaalaaaaaaa

چھا گیا ھے ٹھا کر کے

jahan tak baat he likhnay ki to wo kafi acha likha gia he , and jahan tak baat he Waniya ki , i a bit agree bt mere agree krnay ki wja ye he k haqeeqat se bohat door ja kr likhi gai he kahani, try to be realistic, bt anyways all the best,

چک کے رکھو۔ اعلٰی اپ ڈیٹ ھے۔ لگے رھو

kia baat he . wah. aaj tak kafi stories perhi hein bt sb mein 1ya 2 batein itni common hein k hnsi ati he k ye log ya to khud bewaqoof hein ya in ko sx ka experience hi nahin he. common batein jese k , os ne black bra pehna hoa tha aur gora bdn chalak raha tha, ya pehli dfa hi bachi ne khud se demand kerni start kr di k andr dalo ya isi tra, mra experience zra ht k he , but after reading ur story i can say it is story but written v carefully and most of the tym ur observation is v keen, u hav this talent of writing, 1 thing k just try to b more realistic like it is hardly once in a blue moon wali baat he k u sx in open place, nd hav no clothes on u, but use of places and names are v good, as the real names connects the virtual world to the real one, at the end u r awsm nd ur character Jameel is just about to fall in love, that is good, gradually matured , so keep it up, and if u hav som tym then just watch the tv show Calcification i hope it ll give u new concepts . and try to watch it form the Ist season nd i think now its 5th or 6th season is going on, best of luck nd hav a great tym,

چک کے رکھ ڈاکٹر۔ میڈم دی لین دا بڑا مزا آن والا ہے۔

چھا چھو گے ہو ڈاکٹر

kmaaaaal he kmaaal he , ye jo entry dali he sabiha durrani.. hmmmm es ki next updates mein lene ka plan ho ga. q k abi tak koi aysi bachi nahin ai jis ka nam to aya ho lekin chudi naho . wah wah wah

v nice. story is getting more interesting. good effort. and especially with pics.. wow. aalaa

ُچمی خان جی ُچمی کہانی

کیا بات ھے ڈاکٹر خان ۔ بہت ھی اعلیٰ

اعلیٰ لگے رھو