Update-163
"Teen plate samosa bana ke... Aur ek sath mat lana.. bezzati hoti hai.. Mobile me timer set kar le.. har 5 minute ke interval me next plate le aana... chal bhag aur daud ke laa.."

Maine order diya aur MBD Restaurant ke andar wahi aas-paas ka mahol taakne laga.. mere peechhe.. Matlab S-E me approximately S40°E ke par ek group tha... jo kafi enjoy kar rahe the. Main peechhe muda toh nahi.. par mera pura dhyan unpar tha.. kyunki Us group me ladkiya thi aur ek mutth-manav ise kaise ignore kar sakta hai...

"Superb buddy... U.S.A... We want partyyy !... we want partyyy !... Come on guys... Be with me.. We want party.. We want party... yaaayy... ooohhhhh "

"We want party..."wo sab ek sath cheekhe...

"mar jao bhosdike... Sale gay.... tum sabki maa ko chod dalu..."maine socha... par phhir mujhe dhyan aaya ki, abki baar maine socha nahi balki kaha hai.. Ye baat alag hai ki wo mujhe sun nahi paye... 

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teen plate samosa back to back khane ke baad main Charlie Chaplin ke mafiq stick ghumakar mera joota hai japani, patloon hindustani.... gaate hue waha se bahar nikla...

U.S.A. and party... Kafi gahra rishta hai mera in do words se... Kyunki Vipin bhaiya ki U.S.A. me job lagne ki party mere bhi ghar me hui thi.. bahut alishan party... matlab behanchod.. Koyi hadd nahi.... waisi party... 

"Hello.."main abhi apne family ke baare me sochte hue bahar nikal hee raha tha ki MBD Restaurant se thodi door par scooty me sawar ek ladki mere taraf hath dikha-kar chillayi...

"Ab ye kaun hai..."bolte hue maine aas-paas ke ped me wo nishan dekhne laga.. Jo maine ye confirm karne ke liye banaya tha ki.. Main isi universe me hoon ya kahi aur...

"Hoon toh main apni hee duniya me.. Phhir ye burchatti kaun hai.."

Maine us ladki ki taraf dekha, wo scooty me baithi hui, Apni scooty ko aage-peechhe kar rahi thi... uski scooty MBD ke bahar ek gaddhe me phas gayi thi jise wo scooty ki seat par apni gand se pura jor lagakar scooty ko aage-peechhe karke bahar nikalne ka prayas kar rahi thi.. 

"aisa karte waqt zaroor uske bur me pani aa gaya hoga... vishwas na ho toh jaake check kar le..." maine aisa soch aur is dauran Usne mujhe ek aur baar aawaz di..

"Aapko hee bula rahi hoon... Please help me.."

"Help aur main... Hahahaha..."

mann hee mann dahad maarkar haste hue main us ladki ke paas gaya.. Uski scooty sadak ke kinare ek gaddhe me ghus gayi thi.. Jaha se use scooty bahar nikalne me kafi dikkat ho rahi thi....
 
"bhaiya.. Please.. Meri activa ko dhakka de do..."

" kaun...? Main...?"

"Please Bhaiya.... Mujhe jald se jald ghar pahuchna hai.. Ladke wale dekhne aa rahe hai..."

"Okay.. Par uske pahle situation ko just opposite kar do.. maan lo ki main ya meri jagah koyi aur yaani mujhse kam handsome ladka scooty ya bike lekar yaha fasa hua ho aur wo tumhe dhakka dene ke liye bulata hai... Kya tum dhakka dogi...?"

"ummmm.... nahi..."

"Same answer... aur ek golden rule hamesha yaad rakhna ki.. Boys se help chahiye hogi toh kabhi Bhaiya mat bolna... Got it...? Now get lost.. I wish ki tum time pe ghar na pahucho aur yadi gand ghis-ghis kar kisi tarah ghar pahuch bhi gayi toh wo ladka tumhe reject kar de.. Mark my words... Tumhari zindagi bhar shadi nahi hogi aur yadi ho bhi gayi toh main tujhe vidhwa bana dunga... Hahaha.."
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"Chalna Jeevan Ki Kahaani, Rukna Maut Ki Nishaani
Sar Pe Laal Topi Roosi, Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani"gaate hue main Charlie Chaplin ki style me apne aap me mast RVC ki taraf badh chala...

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U.S.A. and Party... As i said earlier.. in do shabdo ka bahut gahra rishta hai mujhse... Kyunki kuch saalo pahle mere ghar me bhi yahi scene tha... Matlab phhir se wahi taam-jhaam.. Phhir se wahi jhamela ki ye karo.. wo karo... use lao, use pahuchao... lawda dekho.. lahsun dekho... chatni dekho.. chavan-bahar dekho... upar se mera dimag aur isliye khisak gaya kyunki us time main DareDevil ki series dekh raha tha aur aise beech me party ghusedne ki vazah se wo beech me chhoot gaya tha...
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"Armaaaan... Stop..."

"Chini tu jakar Khatik uncle ke family ka arrangement kar.. Madarchodo ko hagne-mootne ki jagah dikha ke aa..."

"Aisa kyun bol rahe ho... Subah-subah chadha li kya... aapki aankh bhi laal hai.."

"Aankh isliye laal hai kyunki main raat bhar so nahi paya.. Mari hui ek ladki dikhti hai mujhe.. chal bhag ab"

"Arrrrmmaaan....stop"

"Arey, madarchod... Ab kisne bula liya... Inki maa ka..."

"Arrrrmaannn.... Uffff.. Tumhe sunayi nahi deta kyaaaaa... kab se aawaz... dee.. rahi thi... Thaka diya kasam se..."

"Palak... Pandey... "

"Hiii..."

"bye, Main bahut jaldi me hoon.. Mujhe urgently kahi jaana hai..."

"Bas do second.. "Apne mobile ka lock kholkar.. usne mobile mujhe thamaya aur boli "ye ek question hai.. Jis-se related words diye hai.. Tumhe batana hai ki ye kaun si theory ya phhir phenomenon hai..."

"Tumhare toh chemistry me mere se jyada number the naa..."

"Haan toh the naa.. par ye question physics ka hai... Please... Jo 5 min. Ke andar jawab dega.. Use group ki sabhi ladkiya kuch na kuch gift dengi... 2 min. already ho chuke hai..."

"Silly girls..."Maine mann me kaha aur hint padhne laga... hint ke naam par waha do torch the jinhe + se joda gaya tha aur phhir equal(=) karke ek kala dhabba tha....

" kya hua nahi ban raha kyaaaa..."udas hote hue Pandey ji chhoti bitiya boli...

"Light + Light = black….. light plus light is equal to darkness… ummmn…. ammmm.... Fringe phenomenon… "

Maine answer type kiya aur mobile Palak ko wapas kar diya…

"confirm naa… kyunki wrong answer dene par  next chance nahi milega…. "

" light added to light create darkness… The Fringe Phenomenon… confirm… "

" okay thanks…. bye" bolkar Palak peechhe mudi aur khusi…khushi waha se jaane lagi.. jiske baad main bhi bahar jaane laga… par phhir achanak se mere peechhe aakar Palak boli..

" Arman… it’s" correct.. i won… thank you.. you’re damn… damn"

" hot...?"

" Intelligent...byee."

Chapter-42: Hireath-2-The Blowout
"Arman, we born alone, We shag alone..."Arun ka ye dialogue yaad karte hue maine bathroom me sperm donate kiya jis-se mera dimag kuch shant hua, warna aaj ki daud-dhoop me, hazar logo ki hazar baate sun-sun kar dimag ki nashe fatne wali thi...

Us din jab sham ko mere ghar me programme chalu hua toh… idhar-udhar ka arrangement dekhte hue main apne baare me sochne laga ki…. mujhe aage kya karna hai… ye log toh mere baare me puchhte hee nahi… sirf aur sirf… Vipin bhaiya ki shadi aur unke US shift hone par har samay utawle rahte hai… main kya karu BC… mujhe lagta nahi ki… main yaha jyada din rah paunga… kuch toh socha hoga maine…. ek toh sala aatak koyi dream… koyi aim bhi set nahi kiya ki karna kya hai... kuch karne ka bhi mann nahi karta... lagta hai sanyas grahan karke Himalayan me shift ho jaun...
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" andha hai kya be… teriiiiiii mahtariiii" main yahi sab sochte-vicharte hue chal raha tha ki… ek aadmi mujhse takraya… aur mere muh se ye nikal gaya…

Wo joh bhi tha… na toh main use jaanta tha aur naa hee wo mujhe… main actully use sorry bolne wala tha… ki… sorry uncle… maine dekha nahi… mere muh se aise hee nikal gaya… lekin main use sorry bolta uske pahle hee usne apna muh faad diya…

"kya bola tu mujhe… "
par maine ghar ka guest hai sochkar… chup chap bina kuch kahe aage badh gaya… taaki mamla yahi salat jaye lekin wo uncle jise maine andha kaha tha… wo kuch jyada hee josh me aa gaya tha…
 
"ayyyee… bhag kidhar raha hai… ruk… jaanta nahi tu mujhe… "

" arey… yar ye toh peechhe pad gaya… phhir gali khilwayega baap se ye…"badbadate hue us-se peechha chhudane ke liye main aur tej chalne laga….

"bhagta kidhar hai…rook "

"arey uncle… bahut garib aadmi hoon… maaf kar do na… aur itna dil me kyun le rahe ho… thoda sa muh me le lo na"

"abey  kutte… idhar aa aur jo khana giraya hai use saaf kar… harami nahi toh "

 " kya bola be…"peechhe mud kar… uski taraf daudte hue maine kaha… "gali kisko diya tu… sale ek jhapad marunga naa… toh… yahi khade.. khade moot dega… aukaat me rahkar baat kar…"

"sale main itna bada aadmi aur tu mujhse aise baat kar raha hai…. abhi main tere malik se baat karta hoon… "door khade mere baap ki taraf ungali dikhate hue usne kaha…

"malik nahi… baap hai wo mera… "

" kyaaa…"muh faadkar wo aadmi bola aur mujhe dekhne laga....

" tum Arman ho…?"

"kyun apni beti ko chodwayega kya mujhse… maaadharchod… naam kya hai be tera…"

 "Arman… main aakhiri baar bol raha hoon… kayde se baat karo "

 " arey teri maa ka bhosda… betichod…"

"kyaaaa haiii yeeeee… sabbbb…. "apne plate gusse se wahi neeche fek kar wo bola… jiske baad… waha aas..paas mauzood logo ka dhyan scene par lag gaya… waise dhyan toh bahut pahle se logo ka tha… par ab… quantiy me izafa hua tha… 
Upar se  dusare kone me mujhse kafi door khade mere bhai aur mere papa ka bhi dhyan us lodu ke plate fekne wale incdent ne apni taraf khincha aur naa chahte hue bhi…………. Vipin bhaiya aur pitashri ko apni taraf aata dekh maine socha ki… jab gali khani hee hai toh kyun naa… baki rahi sahi kasar bhi kyun na puri kar di jaye.. isliye maine, paas me khade ek ladke se us uncle ka naam puchha aur daudkar uske naam ka enevolope, jo usne gift ke taur par diya tha…wo enevlope uske muh par marte hue maine kaha..

"chal be… ye le tera lifafa… ab bhag yaha se… warna ghar tak chodte-chodte le junga… sale bhikhari nahi toh.."

Iske baad usne kuch nahi kaha… usne apna enevelope uthaya aur chup chap waha se kalti ho liya…. par waha se kalti hone ke pahle… wo mere baap ke paas gaya… jiske baad mere papa mere paas aaye… mera bhai bhi mere paas aaya… 

" sale, haramkhor… kya bola tu Bairagi ji se… pagal kutta ho gaya hai kya… jo har samay bhokte rahta hai… dimag tel lene gaya hai kya… jo tujhe samajh nahi aata ki, kis se kaise baat karna hai…"

" dekha papa isko…. aur aap bol rahe the ki… main isko apne sath le jaun…"

"chutiya ho gaya hai…. ye.. iske sath kahi bhi aana jana… kuch karna… matlab… apne gaal pe tamacha marna hai… hata le, Vipin ise yaha se.. warna mere saame rahega toh yahi par… sabke saamne waise hee marunga jaise… bachpan me mara karta tha… hattt… yaha se… "

"ghoor kya raha hai be,Papa ko… maarega kya… "dhakka dete hue mere bhai ne kaha…. "chal jaa yaha se… sale, Engineer hai ye.. shakal dekho inki... do paise ki tameej nahi aur baat aisi karega jaise Visvesvaraya yahi ho…. ab jaana yaha se... muh kya dekh raha hai mera...… bhag ja yaha se nahi toh joota utar ke marunga... bhag"

Mera pura sharir jhanna raha tha… pure badan me aisi kulbulahat thi…mano hazaro chitiya mujhe ek sath kaat rahi ho…. main apne baap ko marne ke liye apne hath ki mutthi baandhata aur phhir khol deta…. mera bahut mann tha ki aaj in dono ko prasad de hee du… lekin pata nahi, sala main apne baap ko kyun nahi maar paa raha tha… maine bahut koshish ki par sala mera hath hee nahi utha aur idhar mera bhai… mere baap se milkar meri dhajiyya udaye pada tha… mere bade bhai ne bhari shabha me mujhe dhakka dekar waha se bahar nikal diya aur main dhakka khakar waha se nikal gaya

" aiin waqt pe mere hath ne mera sath chhod diya… warna batata main un dono ko…. ye mere hath ko kya ho gaya tha…."neeche sadak ke kinare se ek patthar uthakar apne hath me markar check karte hue maine kaha " hath toh thik hai… phhir mera hath mere baap ko marte waqt kaanp kyun raha tha…anyway... better luck next time…"
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Jis club me party thi  waha se daudte hue main ghar aaya aur ghar aane ke baad maine ghar me rakhe mere baap ke daru ki kayi botal uthayi aur upar apne room ke saamne baithkar daru peene laga…

"hat lawda… mere baap ki maa ka "aakhiri peg marne ke baad botal upar se neeche fekte hue main cheekha… "bhad me jao tum sab... aaj se mujhe kisi se koyi matlab nahi…. lawda, itni insult… ab toh suicide karne ka mann kar raha hai… ab jake thoda thoda ahsaas hua ki… Aradhna apne antim waqt me kaisa feel kar rahi hogi.. aisa lagta hai ki zindagi me ab kuch hai hee nahi… Arun… where have you gone, man... i don't miss you, but i miss you.. i mean it's ambiguous or unambiguous... i can't even explain it.. anyway , we born alone... we shag alone and we die alone... cheers  "
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