Chapter-13 : The Detachment 

Varun ke bade bhaiya se baat karte waqt maine socha ki isme se toh 50 % mere sath bhi hua hai…bas mere kabhi back nahi lage…. mujhe pahle se hee pata tha ki college me mujhe kya karna hai aur kya nahi karna hai… lekin phhir bhi maine wo kiya..jo mujhe nahi karna chahiye tha.upar se main apna hee wo rule follow nahi kar raha hoon jise follow karne ki salah maine abhi-abhi Varun ke bhai ko di thi…jaise ke apne maa-baap ki tulna logo se mat karo…vagerah-vagerah aur is tarah ek baar phhir main khud hee apne banaye rule ko follow nahi kar raha tha… Main abhi ye sab bhatti me baithkar soch hee raha tha ki mere side me baitha Varun mujhe pakad kar hilane laga aur jor-jor se mera name pukarne laga….

“Arman….Arman…abey…kaha kho gaya..”

“mujhe kyun pakad ke hila raha hai…hilana hai toh apne bhai ka hila…mera matlab apne bhai ko hila”

“bhai ko hilau…tu hai kaha…”

“dekh Varun… jab main kuch achchhi baate kar raha hota hoon toh tu mujhe disturb mat kiya kar , warna ekat din mood kharab hua toh pel-pal dunga …tujhe zara bhi andaza hai ki kitna samay aur mehnat lagti hai…aise dialogues sochne me…ab tu mujhe hilana band kar warna main wapas jate samay aaj phhir tujhe bike se gira dunga….”

“tu bol kya raha hai…meri toh kuch samajh me nahi aa raha…par tu ab hosh me aa …wo dekh Nisha aa gayi hai and she is looking damn hot and sexy…”

“Nisha ? ”

Maine apne aaju-baju dekha…main ab bhi daru bhatti me hee tha…par is waqt na toh waha Varun tha aur na hee uska bhai…infact is waqt puri bhatti me koyi nahi tha..sab achanak se gayab ho gaye the…jis-se mere mann me aaya ki main do-char botar daru chura kar bhag jaun… lekin phhir maine apne samne wali deewar ko dekha toh paya ki uska shape aur size bahut jaldi jaldi badal raha tha…kabhi laal toh kabhi neela…aur thodi der ke baad ye parivartan charo taraf hone laga…ab mere samne wo table nahi thi jisme maine apne liye ek aur peg bana kar rakha hua tha…

“ye toh mera ghar hai…aur main balcony me kyun khada hoon…main toh thodi der pahle Varun ke sath daru bhatti me tha…aur ye aawaz kaisi hai”

“ja be…Varun bula raha hai…kahi jana hai usko”

Aur phhir pahle ki tarah mere sar ko ek jor ka jhatka laga lekin abki baar wala jhatka itna tez tha ki mere body ke sare purje hil gaye aur main wahi balcony me apna sar pakad kar baith gaya 

“tu bol kya raha hai…meri toh kuch samajh me nahi aa raha…par tu ab hosh me aa …wo dekh Nisha aa gayi hai and she is looking damn hot…”Varun ki aawaz mere kano me gunji…

“lagta hai jyada din zinda nahi rahunga main…yahi haal raha toh brain hemorrhage pakka hai…”

“kya bola…”

“tu rahne de Varun ,ye sab Psychological baate hai…teri samajh me nahi aayegi…tu bas party enjoy kar…”bolte hue maine dheere-dheere apni aankh kholi aur mujhe mere samne thik 90° ke angle par mujhe Nisha dikhayi di…nahi exact 90° pe nahi…wo mujhse 90..89…88..87 …correct. wo mujhe thik 87° par dikhi…jise dekhkar mere sar ka dard dheere-dheere kam hone laga

“tumne apna sar kyun pakad rakha hai”mere paas aakar Nisha puchhi

“wo main, tumhe compliment de raha hoon…tum itni jyada khoobsurat lag rahi ho ki maine apna sar pakad liya…”

“say…you love me”

“ 80 % ”

“100 % bolo na…”

“pagal hai kya…aise me efficiency 1 ho jayegi aur ye physics ke according mumkin nahi hai matlab main aisa koyi kaam nahi karta jo physics ke khilaf ho….my love for physics is forever”

“ok…  ”

.
“par kuch bhi ho…aaj tum kamal lag rahi ho..matlab kitna taiyar hokar aayi ho…itna makeup…kaise kar leti ho ye sab…”Nisha ke chehre par aaye baal ko peeche karte hue maine uske gaal ko pinch kiya… “ye sab real hai…”
“real hai ? matlab ? tumhe shaq hai kya ki tum sapna dekh rahe ho…hmm ? aur yadi tumhe sahq bhi hai toh tumhe khud ko pinch karna chahiye tha…naa ki mujhe”
“main mahan…mera sab kuch mahan. Anyway aaj tera mujhse shadi karne ka toh irada nahi…jo itna saj sawar ke aayi hai..”

“kaha taiyar hokar aayi hoon…simple hee toh hoon…”

“toh ho jaye phhir…”

“kya…”

“wahi…”

“Noooooo…”

“kya yar…tu kahe toh room bhi khali hai ek…matlab maine ek aur flat book kar rakha hai River view me…”

“maine kaha na nahi….”

“aakhiri bar humne kab kiya tha…”

“parso raat me…”

“main kiss ki baat nahi kar raha hoon…arey wo…jisme hum dono bahut hilte hai”

“main kya ab ye yaad rakhungi ki humne last time kab kiya tha ”thoda naraz hote hue Nisha boli

“wahi toh…tujhe yaad bhi nahi ki aakhiri baar humne sex kab kiya tha…isiliye aajkal humare beech aaye din ladayi hoti hai…kyunki hum dono aajkal thik se connect nahi ho pa rahe hai…meri baat maan…chal mere sath…maine ek aur flat book kar rakha hai…chal sex karte hai…”

“Arman…humare beech sex na hone ki vazah se ladayi nahi ho rahi…balki ladayi hone ki vazah se sex nahi ho raha…”
“baat toh wahi hai yar…mera matlab energy koyi si bhi ho,kya fark padta hai..uska unit toh joule hee rahega na…I mean lund choot me dalo ya phhir choot lund me, chudna toh choot ko hee hai na”

“tumne pura mood off kar diya…”
“mood off ho gaya ? mera ek dost hai Arun…wo aksar mera mood off hone par mujhse kahta tha ki ja…mutth mar ke aa…lekin tujhe toh main wo bhi nahi kah sakta…”

“Arman…..this is disgusting ”

“toh thik hai ungali kar le…”kahte hue main has pada aur Nisha ki tone nikalte hue bola “Arman….this is disgusting ” 

“tum aisa kyun karte ho…kya tumhe achchha lagta hai ye sab karke…ya sukoon milta hai…”

“actually meri ek philosophy hai ki jo chize tumhe buri lagti hai unka Mazak banana shuru kar do…phhir wo thoda kam buri lagti hai…”

Ye sunkar Nisha kuch nahi boli aur chup chap apne friends ke paas chali gayi…aur main khud ko koste hue balcony ki taraf mud gaya….
Varun mera khas dost tha…mujhe uski help karni chahiye thi…is waqt mujhe uske sath rahna chahiye tha…lekin main tha ki balcony me hee khada hokar chup chap andar ho rahe ek-ek chiz ko dekh raha tha…maine school life me friendynamics ka ek law banaya tha…jiske according mujhe Sonam ki respect karni chahiye thi…thik usi tarah jis tarah main apni bahan ki karta…yadi wo hoti toh…lekin pichhale kuch dino se main kayi baar apne khud ke law ko hee tod chuka tha aur Sonam ki insult kar chuka tha….yani ki Thermodynamics ke first law ki tarah Friendyanmics ke is law ki bhi kuch limitations thi….yani ki ab samay aa gaya tha jab main friendyamics ka second law parit karu…aur isiliye..bas isiliye maine balcony me khade hokar friendynamic ka second law banaya .jo ki first law se milta julta tha ya phhir kahe ki first law ka modified version tha….

“According to second law of friendynamics… at standard temperatre & pressure(STP), your friend’s girlfriend is equal to your sister and you must have to respect and love her(non-incest) unless you get frustrated with her…after that you can even rape her…….….but from mouth….”
“wow…kyun hoon main itna talented…let’s take a bow ”

Update-39

Quote:
“According to second law of friendynamics… at standard temperatre & pressure(STP), your friend’s girlfriend is equal to your sister and you must have to respect and love her(non-incest) unless you become fucking frustrated…after that you can even rape her…….….but from mouth….”
“wow…kyun hoon main itna talented… let’s take a bow ”

Mere dwara friendynamic ka second law banane tak Varun aur Sonam ki is party me ab bahut jyada log aa chuke the aur main bhi full taiyar hokar abhi bahar hee aaya tha…maine dekha ki party me lagbhag wo sabhi log mauzood the jinhe main janta tha…yani ki David…Shipra…Sonam…Nisha aur Varun ke kuch dost jo ki ek-do baar flat me aaye the…kahne ko toh main bahut logo ko janta tha lekin phhir bhi main bahut akela mahsoos kar raha tha aur mujhe rah-rah kar mere college ki farewell party yaad aa rahi thi…jisme Rajshri Pandey ne meri thali se rasgulla nikal kar kha liya tha…farewell party ko yaad karne se mera mann kiya ki lawda,abhich anchoring kar maru, jaisa ki maine apne farewell party me kiya tha, jisme meri welcome speech kuch aisi thi….

Quote:
"Gentlemen and gentlewomen....tum log soch rahe hoge ki main ab ek shaleen bhara, swachh bhashad prastut karunga...jisme main tum logo ka aabhar vyakt karunga ki aap log yaha aaye, isliye dhanyavaad....yadi tum sab aisa sochate ho to ,bhool jao, kyunki main aisa kuch bhi nahi bolne wala aur main kahe tum ko logo thanks bolu be....ek to free ka khana khaoge, seetiya maroge, langar dance karke pure karyakram ki aisi-taisi karoge...upar se tum sab ye apeksha rakhte ho ki main tum logo ka shukriya ada karu....ladkiyo ka to khair main bahut aadar karta hoon isliye sabke saamne unhe kuchh nahi bolunga ,lekin ladko...tum log apna kaan khol kar sun lo aur yadi jaroorat ho to kuch aur bhi khol kar sun sakte ho...lekin dhyan se sunna....tum me se bahut aise honge, jo khud ko bahut bada cool dude, funny samajhte hai ,jo programme ke beech-beech me muh me dono hath rakhkar chillate hai, comments pass karte hai, un logo ne yadi aisa kuchh bhi kiya...to beta, mujhe jaha dikhoge ,wahi par marunga aur langar dance to bilkul hee ban hai...i hate langar dance. Ye aaj ke function ke terms & conditions hai , yadi manzoor ho toh i agree ka button daba kar join kar lo...warna khisak lo....nahi to main baal pakad kar ghaseetate-ghaseetate le jaunga....."
Quote:
"lagta hai, tum logo ne dil pe liya...main to aise hee mazak kar raha tha, dar-asal ye script me tha....aur mujhe kaha gaya tha ki main ekdum tevar me tum log ko dhamkaun....to kaisi lagi meri acting"
Mere mann me aaya ki farewell party wali speech main yaha bhi thok du…lekin phhir jab waha mauzood logo ko dekha toh laga ki rahne deta hoon…waise anchoring se yaad aaya ki kaise Esha farewell ke din mujhse sex karne ko utaru ho gayi thi…kya maal thi..us-se toh main left side se pyar karta tha…sala Gautam…madarchod…..madarchod nahi Maadharchod… thoda vazandar gali…  

“hey bro…”mere college farewell ki yaadon me khatas dalte hue mere hee umra ke ek ladke ne mujhse hath milaya aur mujhse jabarpeli ka gale lagte hue bola 

“bro…mera name Vivek hai…yo…main medical shop chalata hoon…meri dukaan tumne dekhi hogi yahi colony se thodi door me hai...”

“ main faltu ki chizo par dhyan nahi deta”

“yo bro…par meri medical shop se Sanjeevani clinic bhi attached hai…jaha mere bade bhai doctor hai…yo..”

“toh tu mujhe kyun irritate kar raha hai ye sab bata ke…”khisyate hue main bola…

“aisi baat nahi hai bro…”

“dekh be… yadi tune ek aur baar…. Bro…yo bro…kaha toh main wo samne wali beer ki botal lunga aur use tere pichhwade me dalkar…us botal me ek laat kheechkar marunga…tu ja na apna kaam kar…ek toh waise hee mera sar ghoom raha hai…upar se tu apni aisi taisi kara raha hai…”

“bro…tumhara sar ghoom raha hai…”kahkar usne turant apni jeb me hath dala aur ek tablet mujhe dekar bola “isko kha lo…”

Maine ek baar usko upar se neeche dekha aur socha ki iska kya karu…is-se chhutkara kaise paun…iske muh me mukka maar du…ya iske khopdi me apni khopdi de maru ya phhir ise lund fek ke maru….lekin phhir mujhe ek aur raasta soojha aur maine chup chap uski tablet li aur use badi shaleenta ke sath‘excuse me’ bolkar waha se khisak liya…

“sala kya ajeeb chipku tha…bro…yo bro…bolkar dimag ka dhokla bana diya…ek aur minute uske sath rahta toh dimag ki nashe fat jati….kaise-kaise log hai is duniya me…I hate everyone”
.

“Arman……idhar aa”

“ab kaun hai be…”palatkar maine dekha… “ye toh Varun hai…par ye mujhe kyun bula raha hai…”

“aana..champagne beer kholni hai”

“toh khol lena…mujhe kyun bula raha hai…”

Jiske baad Varun ne mujhe ghoor kar dekha aur na chahte hue bhi mujhe waha jaana pada…waha is samay Varun ke paas kuch khas hee log the…baki sab thoda door khade hokar champagne khulne ka intezar kar rahe the…Nisha, Shipra… Sonam ke bagal me khadi thi aur main ,Varun ke bagal me khada tha, mujhe nahi maloom ki kyun par mujhe is samay bahut insult wali feeling aa rahi thi…lekin tabhi waha wo medical shop wala launda aa gaya…jisne thodi der pahle..bro…bro karke mera dimag kha liya tha…

“hey bro…”mujhe kohni markar wo bola

“main teri gand mar lunga yadi tune mujhe dobara touch bhi kiya toh…ya phhir mujhse baat bhi ki toh…lawda, bahut der se bardasht kar raha hoon tujhe…ab yadi tune ek aur shabd bhi bola toh teri gand me danda dalkar 1000 R.P.M. ki speed se danda ghumaunga…”

“Arman ,ye kya bol raha hai tu…”dheere-dheere apna daant peeste hue Varun bola 

“Vivek dost hai mera…tu us-se aise baat nahi kar sakta…”

“toh usko bol ki mujhse baat hee na kare…simple”

“Vivek ,tu abhi chup rah…main baad me tujhse milta hoon…”

“ok…Varun bro…”bolkar Vivek waha se door hat gaya aur Vivek ke waha se jaane ke baad Varun ne Sonam ke sath milkar champagne beer kholi….sale gay
.

champagne khulne ke ek ghante ke baad hee waha mauzood har shaks chala gaya tha…siway kuch logo ko chhodkar….jo shayad Sonam…Nisha…Shipra aur David the…shayad isiliye main is waqt flat ke andar nahi balki chhat par daru aur beer ki botal lekar baitha hua tha aur andar chal rahe hasi Mazak se main beech-beech me andaza laga raha tha ki…andar kaun-kaun hai….Chhat par is samay pel ke andhera tha aur kyunki mujhe andhera bahut pasand tha isliye main aksar raat ko daru yahi piya karta tha…jiske karan meri assumption itni strong ho gayi thi ki main andhere me bhi peg bana liya karta tha….

“kya be,Arman…teri koyi izzat-vizzat hai ki nahi…Varun ne itna bada faisla le liya aur tujhe bataya tak nahi…tu kahe toh pel du sale ko…”peg banate hue maine khud se pucha aur peg banane ke baad khud ko jawab dete hue bola… 

“usne bataya tha mujhe…par mujhe yaad hee nahi raha…main toh yahi soch raha tha ki meri naukri lagne ki khushi me party di ja rahi hai…”

“offer ab bhi khula hai…tu kahe toh pel du…”

“rahne de…wo toh main bhi kar sakta hoon…”

“waise ek baat bata…ye David kab se Varun ka itna acha dost ban gaya…jo ab tak tere flat me ruka hua hai…kahi Varun aur David gay toh nahi hai…jaise tu aur Arun the…”

“tu in logo ki tulna Arun se kar raha hai…? ”

“sorry...3.0 , Arun was classy…lekin tujhe kya hua..tere samne David , Nisha se ishq ladata hai..dinner me bulakar teri insult karta hai…matlab insult karne ki koshish karta hai aur tu sirf use jaane deta hai…kaha gaya wo Arman…jisne jo hoga dekha jayega bolkar collector ke launde tak ko pel diya tha…ye jante hue bhi ki phhir baad me uski pelayi hogi…kaha gaya wo Arman…jisne Gautam ko hostel me patak-patak ke kutto ki tarah choda tha…ye jante hue bhi ki Gautam shahar ke sabse bade gunde ka beta tha… tu thoda soch aur phhir mujhe jawab de ki kya ab tujhe khud par sharam nahi aati ki tu kya tha aur ab kya ban gaya hai…”

“wo…wo main nahi tha…matlab main tha..lekin ab main wo nahi raha…pichhale ek saal ne mujhe bahut badal diya hai…tum toh lawda kand karke nikal liye…jhelna mujhe pada…wo toh bhala ho ki mujhe Physics me interest tha,isliye main in sabse nikal gaya…warna main aaj khud suicide kar chuka hota…maine pichhale ek saal me physics ki kayi books padhi…physics ke siddhanto ko apne life ke sath interpetate kiya…tab main samjha ki Physics se bada is duniya me koyi nahi….i mean the deeper you go, the deeper it becomes. aur rahi baat meri toh maine wo zindagi jee hai jiske bare me tu soch bhi nahi sakta… tune toh pel ke ayyashi mari aur chala gaya lekin uska anjaam mujhe jhelna pada ”

“main chala gaya…? Main ab bhi yahi hoon..aur tu kahe toh tujhe iska proof bhi dikha sakta hoon…”

“dikha proof…”

“phhir kamar kas le bidu…par starting tu karna…baki main sambhal lunga…toh chale..”

“chal…”bolkar maine aakhiri peg mara aur hilte-dulte hue khada hua….

“chalo phhir…aaj in sabki pond marte hai…”

Pahle toh maine socha ki normal tarike se normal raaste se yaani ki seehiyo se neeche jaun…lekin phhir maine plan badal diya aur chhat se latak kar seedhe balcony me kooda..jiske karan waha bahut tez aawaz hui aur room me mauzood har ek shaks us aawaz se thodi der ke liye kanp gaya…lekin jab un logo ne mujhe dekha toh hasne lage…

“jyada pee li hai kya be…”mere balcony me koodne ke baad David ne mujhse kaha…

“sorry…David Sir…”

Iske baad maine kuch nahi kaha aur chup chap wahi unke paas me jakar baith gaya…maine waha baithe har ek shaks ka co-ordinate apne dimag me set kiya …Sonam as expected…Varun ka hath pakad kar baithi hui thi aur Nisha ,David ke bagal me thi…baki sab toh shant the lekin David politics ke bare me apna gyan chod raha tha…jaise ki 1947 ke pahle kya-kya hua tha…aur isi dauran wo Gandhi ji ki pelam-pel burayi karne laga…jiske baad main waha se utha aur fridge me se ek beer nikal kar wapas waha aaya jaha sablog baithe hue the….maine muh se beer ka dhakkan khola aur dhakkan seedhe David ke ke upar muh se hee fek diya….jiske baad waha mauzood sabhi log mujhe ghoor kar dekhne lage…yaha tak ki Varun aur Nisha bhi….lekin maine un sabko ignore kiya aur wahi khade hokar beer peene lag gaya aur phhir beer ka ek ghoot muh me bharkar Varun ke upar pichkari marte hue bola….

“tum jaise log jo Gandhi ji ki burayi karte hai, wo char kaudi ke log hote hai aur do kaudi ki baate karte hai…tujhe pata bhi hai ki tu kiski burayi kar raha hai…Mahatma Gandhi ki…mana ki unse kuch galtiya hui…lekin wo toh sabhi se hoti hai…Gandhi ji ko aur unke motives ko samjho… na ki is Shipra ki tarah ratta maro…sale, Madarchodo…”

“teri himmat kaise hui…mujh par thookne ki…you motherfucker”aakrosh me aakar khada hote hue David cheekha aur jaise hee wo khada hua maine beer ki botal uske sar me fod di….

“neeche baith…Maaadharchod….bahut din se tujhe dekh raha hoon,lawda… main kuch bolta nahi iska matlab ye nahi ki main kuch janta nahi…kyunki main kuch bolne ke bajay kuch karne me yakin rakhta hoon ”ye kahkar maine ek mukka kaskar David ke pet me mara, jiske baad wo apna pet pakad kar wahi baith gaya….aur dard se rone laga….

Ye David ka haal tha…lekin waha mauzood baki logo ka haal David se bhi bura ho chala tha…Shipra toh dar ke mare Nisha ke peeche chhup gayi thi…baki bache teen log…Varun ,Sonam aur Nisha…wo is waqt mujhse dar bhi rahe the aur mujhe ghoor bhi rahe the…

“Armaaaaann…what the hell is this…”mujhe jor se dhakka dekar Nisha cheekhi…

“main soch hee raha tha ki ab kiska number lagau…par tune mera kaam aasan kar diya…”Nisha ki taraf badhte hue main muskuraya…lekin main Nisha ke aur karib jata…uske pahle hee Varun ne mujhe pakad liya….

“Arman…tu is waqt hosh me nahi hai…tu chal mere sath…aur Sonam tum David ko sambhalo…uske sar se khoon nikal raha hai…”

“Sonam, yadi tune David ko chhua bhi toh main na teri gand maar dunga…salo Shri Arman ki bezzati karte ho…aaj tumlog ko apna real version dikhata hoon…Varun tu hat be..”

“Arman…Sonam meri girlfriend hai…tu us-se aise baat nahi kar sakta”

“teri girlfriend hai toh kya…tu us-se mere sar me mootwayega…Sonam ko chhod yadi tune bhi David ki koyi help ki toh main tere sath bhi wahi karunga…”

“Nisha…wo us almirah me first aid ka box hai…tum David ki help karo…main Arman ko sambhalta hoon….”bolkar Varun ne mujhe peeche se pakda aur pakad kar waha se door le jaane laga…

“tu mujhe sambhalega…chhod mujhe…abey chhod…teri toh…chhod de, main bol raha hoon ki mujhe chhod de…ye sala…Varun me mujhse jyada dum kabse aa gaya…main khud ko chhuda hee nahi pa raha…”khud ko Varun ke changul se chhudane ki koshish karte hue main badbadaya…

Isi beech Nisha almirah se first aid ka box nikal layi aur dard se karahte David ke paas pahuchi…

“iski maa ka…Varun chhod mujhe… aaj is rakhail ko bhi thik karta hoon.. bahut dimag khati hai ye… BC ne pagal kar diya hai ye puchh-puchh ke ki main kaisi dikh rahi hoon… meri dress kaisi hai… mera hairband kaisa hai… meri sandel kaisi hai.… phhir mujhe apne aur David ki kahani sunayegi… mere same kisi aur ki taarif karegi… yadi itna hee pasand hai tujhe David toh ,ja usi ka lund le le… phhir mere paas kyun aati hai… Sali rakhail aur Varun, tu mujhe chhodega ki nahi be”

“Arman…nahi…tu pagal ho gaya hai abhi…”

“abhi toh main thik hua hoon…tu mujhe chhodega ya nahi”

“nahi…”

“le phhir…”

Maine apna sharir aage ki taraf karke kisi spring ke mafiq pel ke potential energy store ki aur phhir puri taqat jhok di Varun ko peeche dhakelne me…jiska nateeza ye hua ki hum dono ki peechhe deewar se jordar takkar hui…Varun ke aage rahne ke karan main toh phhir bhi thik tha…lekin Varun…uska sar peeche ki deewar se ja takraya aur wo bhi David ki tarah dharashahi ho gaya….jiske baad main utha aur Varun ke sar se khoon nikalta dekh bola…

“yahi hota hai Sher aur uske shikar ke beech me ungali karne se…ab pada rah aise hee… 8th Semester ki puri kahani sunne ke baad bhi tu mere beech me aaya…tune kya socha tha ki Arman teri baat maan jayega… sale aukat me rah aur bhool mat ki kya haisiyat thi teri mere saamne…bosdiwale ”

“tumhari himmat kaise hui…”tarrate hue Sonam mere paas aayi aur mujhe marne ke liye apna hath uthane hee wali thi ki maine uska hath pakda aur uthakar Varun ki taraf fek diya….

“ab ye mujhe chodna sikhayenge… Friendynamic ke law ne mere hath baandh rakhe hai warna main tujhe achchhe se batata ki meri himmat kaise hui… randi Sali… paise lekar lund choosne wali… tujhse toh main baad me niptunga.. tu rook do minute abhi”

Sonam ko fekne ke baad maine flat ka room andar se lock karke chabhi apne jeb me dal li aur sabka mobile chheenkar balcony me fek diya .yaha tak ki apna bhi…pata nahi kyun par maine apna mobile bhi balcony me fek diya. Shayad flow-flow me fek diya hoga…anyway uske baad maine balcony ke gate ko bhi lock kiya aur chabhi apne jeb me dal li….yani ki ab mere kaand karne ki ideal situations thi . bole toh no external disturbance….mere bistar par apna pet pakad kar rote hue David ka maine pair pakda aur ghaseet kar neeche patak diya aur ek laat use marte hue bola

“kaise be…ab bol…”

“sorry bhai…”hath jodkar vinti karte hue David mere samne gidgidane laga

“kya sorry be…lawde” ek aur laat use pelte hue maine kaha

“sorry…bhai…galti ho gayi mujhse…”

“kyun hoon main itna dayawan…”David ko continueosly marte hue maine kaha “mahan…hone ka… yahi…ek….nuksan…hai… ki main… logo ko… jaan se…nahi… maar pata”
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David ko bharpet marne ke baad maine use wahi chhoda aur Nisha ki taraf badha aur sabse pahle uska baal pakad kar jabaran uske honth par kiss kiya aur phhir bola….

“tum ladkiya jitni bholi ban-ne ka natak karti ho utni tum hoti nahi….tujhe kya lagta hai ki mujhe tere bare me kuch nahi maloom…tujh jaisi ladkiya kisi ek ki nahi ho sakti…college me tune kisi aur se marwayi ,phhir mujhse aur ab David se….”

“David sirf mera dost hai…”ruwasi hokar cheekhte hue Nisha boli….

“yahi bol-bol kar tum ladkiyo ne 90 % laundo ko chutiya bana rakha hai…tu toh mujhse baat karne ke layak hee nahi hai…isliye main tujhse toh baat hee nahi karunga….Sonam…tu kidhar hai... Sali chhinar… paise lekar lund chusne wali..”

“Arman tu use kuch nahi bolega…warna ab main bhi shant nahi rahunga… ”deewar ke sahare khade hokar Varun ne kaha 

“ Sonam tu wahi ladki hai na…jo paiso ke liye blow job deti hai…tujhe kya lagta hai ki mujhe tere bare me kuch nahi maloom”

“tu ye kya bol raha hai Arman…”

“mujhe chutiya mat bana Varun…maine Sonam ko tujhse bolte hue suna hai ki yadi tu use diamond ring gift karega toh wo tujhe blow job degi…yani ki tera lawda chusegi… Varun, call recordings could be noxious or even deadly. ” 

Ek minute….ye maine kaha…kya sach me maine aisa kaha….ya ye sirf mera vaham hai ki maine aisa kaha….kya ho yadi main kuch der baad khud ko kahi sota hua paun…ya phhir ye bhi toh ho sakta hai ki main ab bhi apne flat ki chhat par baitha daru pee raha hoon aur jyada peene ke karan maine ye story apne aap bana li ho…?kyunki fake story banana me main mahir hoon. Kahi aisa toh nahi ki main koyi sapna dekh raha hoon ya phhir Sharda Vihar ki chair par baithkar main time travel kar raha hoon…afterall maine past toh kayi baar ghoom liya hai aur yadi brain ke through past me jaana possible hai toh phhir future me kyun nahi…..? par yaha ek sawal ya phhir kahe ki sabse aham sawal jo mere saamne aata hai wo ye ki kahi 8th Semester ki jo kahani maine Varun ko sunayi thi yadi uska koyi wazood hee na ho toh ? kya ho agar main kabhi college gaya hee na hoon toh ? kahi mujhpar koyi experiment toh nahi chal raha…..
Yani ki kayi sambhavnaye…mere dimag ko jodti hai un sabhi ghatnao se jo sach bhi ho sakti hai aur jhooth bhi…aur ab mujhe ek baar phhir se yahi lagne laga tha jaise ki mera present mera past hai aur past….future…..confused ? well me too baby…but I’m enjoying it now . because it’s better to enjoy rather than be confused all the time.
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“tumne mujhe samajh kya rakha hai….you son of a bitch…”

ek bahut tez aawaz ne mujhe present me wapas la patka…ya kahe past me ya phhir future me….par us aawaz ne mujhe wahi la patka jaha se maine scene ko adhoora chhoda tha…yani ki Nisha…Sonam…Shipra….Varun…..David aur main ab bhi ek kamre me band the jiski chabhi mere jeb me thi…… 

“tumne mujhe samajh kya rakha hai….you son of a bitch…”wo ladki phhir se cheekhi aur abki baar itna jor se cheekhi ki mere andar mauzood har ek chiz kanp uthi… mera dil, mera dimag, mere hath-pair… kidney…liver… , mera lund . sab kuch… sab kuch matlab sab kuch.

“ye BC itna kyun cheekh rahi hai…kya isne mujhe bahra samajh rakha hai…oh sorry…yaad aaya ye toh gusse se cheekh rahi hai…”

“tumhara name Sonam hai na ? jo diamonds ke badle blow job deti hai…”

“Arman bahut ho gaya ab…”mere paas aakar mera collar pakad kar Varun ne kaha… “mere ahsaan mat bhool…mat bhool ki pichhale ek saal se jo tu ye ayyashi kar raha hai na…wo sab meri badaulat hee kar raha hai…bhool mat ki yadi main nahi hota toh tu kahi bheekh mang raha hota … meri achchhayi ne mujhe namra rahna sikhaya hai lekin iska matlab ye nahi ki main tujhe koyi jawab nahi de sakta…”

“collar se hath hata be…”Varun ko ek mukka markar door dhakelte hue maine kaha“kaun se ahsaan be…tu pichhale ek saal se mujh par koyi ahsaan nahi kar raha tha…balki mere ahsaan ko utar raha tha…bhool gaya kaise School life me mathematics ke har dusare sawal me teri fat jati thi…jiski baad tu mere paas bhag kar aa jata tha…bhool gaya…kaise meri vazah se Reema tujhse pati thi aur ye sab ko chhod bhi diya jaye….toh yaad dila du ki jab teri behan tere dost ke sath tere ghar me pakdi gayi thi tab maine yani ki Shri Arman ne pure school ke saamne us launde ko mara tha aur phhir pure school ke saamne main maar bhi khaya tha….chal le de ke is mamle ko bhi hata…lekin us ahsaan ke bare me tu kya bolega jo maine tujh par nahi balki tere pure khandan par kiya tha…”

“kaun sa ahsaan…” 

“kaun sa ahsaan ? ek minute…”David ke paas jaakar maine ek jhapad David ko mara aur us-se puchha “yaad dila be…kaun sa ahsaan”

“mujhe kaise maloom hoga…”chillate hue David ne turant jawab diya

“Shri Arman se tez aawaz me baat karta hai…teri toh…”ek aur mukka David ke pet me marte hue main peeche palta aur Varun ko dekhkar kaha “wo ahsaan..jab tera bhai tum logo se tang aakar suicide karne chala tha…tab use kisne bachaya tha…bhool gaya kya ? abey maine jitney ahsaan tujh par kiye hai uska yadi main 10 % bhi kisi aur par karta toh wo zindagi bhar mera lund dhokar peeta …aur tu toh mera dost tha…mera khas dost… par tune toh Sonam ke chakkar me mera collar pakad liya… mujhe tum sabse nafrat hai… bosdiwalo… tum sabse ”

Bolte hue main ruka aur phhir jeb se room ki chabhi nikal kar gate khola…main ab samajh gaya tha ki aaj yaha jo kuch bhi hua hai uske baad Varun mere sath nahi rahega…Varun kya nahi rahega…main khud uske sath nahi rahunga.i…i…just hate everyone…maine almirah se apna bag nikala jo ki maine pahle se pack karke rakha hua tha aur waha se jaane laga….

“Arman…toh ye sab tune pahle se plan karke rakha tha…ye sab kuch…isiliye tune apna bag pahle se pack karke rakha tha…main toh ab tak yahi soch raha tha ki ye sab kuch jo yaha ho raha hai , jo tu kar raha hai….wo sab kuch tere jyada sharab peene ki vazah se ho raha hai….”

“aur nahi toh kya…tum logo ne mujhe daru peekar bhokne wala kutta samajh rakha hai kya…tum log mere baare me jo sochte ho wo toh sirf meri beginning hai… meri ending ka toh tum log andaza tak nahi laga sakte… main Physics ki tarah hoon… The Greatest… The Biggest… and The Deepest ”kandhe me bag taangte hue main bola “ Remember Varun…maine kya kaha tha ki…mere sorry bolne ka matlab ye nahi hota ki main apne kiye par sharminda hoon... balki iska matlab ye hota hai ki main tumhe aur bhi sharminda karunga….ye jante hue bhi tune mujhse Sonam ko sorry bulwaya…galti meri nahi thi…galti actual me tum sab ki thi jo mere muh se sorry sunne ke liye itne betaab the…Goodbye and take care……lawdo ” 

“par tu jayega kaha….”

“itni fikar hoti toh mujhe apne ahsaan nahi ginata tu aur na hee is do take ki ladki ke chakkar me mera collar pakadta…ab jab sab preplanned hai toh rahne ka bhi kahi jugad kiya hoga maine…bas abhi mujhe yaad nahi hai…lekin jab yaad karunga toh yaad aa jayega…
Aasmano ke falaq par kuch rang aaj bhi baki hai….waisich apun ke dil ke bhi kuch Armaan baki hai…sorry it’s A-R-M-A-N…. jo main pure karne ja raha hoon ”
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Itna bolkar main waha se chal diya…Kitna acha hota yadi ye sab nahi hua hota toh…yani ki yadi Nisha mere sath raat me bahar jaane ke liye taiyar ho jati ya phhir Varun party me David ko invite nahi karta toh mujhe nahi lagta ki ye sab kuch hota…ya phhir main chhat par jakar daru ke dhada-dhad peg nahi marta toh na hee main khud se baat karta aur na hee khud ko jo kuch bhi hua,wo sab karne ke liye motivate karta. Lekin ye hua tha aur bahut jor-shor se hua tha…lekin is waqt main problem ye nahi thi…is waqt jo main problem thi wo ye ki main itni raat me jaun kaha...? waha toh bahut akad kar kuch bhi bol diya lekin…mujhe jaana kaha hai…

“mera bag pahle se aise pack tha…jaise meri kahi jaane ki planning ho…Varun ne sahi kaha tha ki wo sab kuch jo maine thodi dere pahle kiya tha…wo sab mera plan tha…na ki mera daru peekar bahak jaana …yani ki jo kuch bhi aaj thodi der pahle hua…wo hona hee tha…par jab ye mera plan tha toh maine kahi toh raat guzarne ka intezaam kiya hoga…kisi hotel me..? ya kisi ke dost ke yaha ? ya kisi dharamshala me ?”

Ye janne ke liye maine apne sare jeb check kiye ki kahi se koyi receipt mil jaye…lekin mujhe kuch nahi mila….phhir maine mobile me sms check kiya ki shayad kahi online booking karwayi hogi aur uska sms aaya hoga…lekin kisi booking ya transaction ka koyi sms bhi nahi tha… maine apne mobile me call history check ki lekin sabhi calls ek line se Nisha ke the.

“ab Gajini ke mafiq camera rakhna shuru kar de…lawda kuch yaad-vaad toh rahta nahi…” colony se bahar aakar sadak par chalte hue maine kaha “ab toh itni raat me yaha se city ke liye koyi auto bhi nahi milega…aur maro beta dialogues…kitna acha dost tha…kitni achi maal thi…free me khana…free me choot…free me wifi…upar se transport ki bhi facility…aur badle me kya karna tha ? kuch nahi karna tha…lekin nahi…tu toh Shri Krishna ji ka bahut bada fan hai… aur bina karm kiye rah hee nahi sakta….”

“aisi baat nahi hai…un sabko sabak sikhana tha ki jab main apne pe aata hoon toh kya karta hoon…”

“very good…aur tune dikha bhi diya…kya tune apne zindagi se kuch nahi sikha ? aur kitne jhatke tujhe chahiye serious banane ke liye…maine toh socha tha ki college khatm hone ke baad tu ekdum serious ho jayega…”

“yahi meri quality hai be…ki mere sath kitna bhi kuch ho jaye…ek-do mahine ke baad main normal jata hoon aur jisme meri ek philosophy bahut help karti hai…”

“kaun si philosophy”

“yahi ki is duniya me jo bhi chiz buri lage uska Mazak udana shuru kar do… jis-se wo chiz thoda kam bura lagti hai aur kuch samay ke baad ek bhi nahi…jaise ki jab Esha ne mujhe chhoda toh us-se paar paane ke liye main subah sham khana khan eke baad khud se kahta tha ki… ye sahi hua… mere sath aisa hee hona chahiye tha. Main gandu hoon… maha baklund hoon… chutiya hoon. Gali me bhagta hua ek awara kutta hoon. Phhir main berojgar hua aur tab bhi maine aisa hee kiya…ki lawda maine college me ayyashi ki…main bahut bada chodu hai…lavde ka baal hoon… mujhe toh kahi jhadu marne ki bhi naukri nahi milegi etc.etc. ”

“ abey, tu khud ko motivate kar raha tha ya phhir demoralize kar raha tha…?  By the way…toh kya ab tu Esha ke bare me sochkar kabhi udas nahi hota…? Ya Aradhna ke bare me sochkar ? ya phhir Sidar ke bare me sochkar ? kya tujhe bilkul bhi bura nahi lagta ki college me tune sirf apne ego ke karan basketball ka ek bhi match nahi khela…? Jab ki Gautam ke aalawa tere jaisa basketball koyi khel hee nahi sakta tha…”

“hamesha nahi par kabhi-kabhi sochta hoon… thoda bura bhi lagta hai, lekin phhir sochta hoon ki… ok… jo hua so hua…now move on….lekin aksar mere mann me ye khayal bhi aata hai ki…Arman…chal chalkar un sabki *** chod dalte hai… par main dono me se kuch nahi karta… matlab naa hee main unhe bhoolkar aage badhta hoon aur na hee wapas jakar unki bajata hoon…main toh unse milo door yaha Nagpur me baitha mutth maar raha hoon…. “

“toh iska matlab ye hua ki teri philosophy ka exception tu khud hai…”

“ as always… Actually main kahna ye chahta hoon ki mujhe abhi bilkul nahi pata ki main kya kah raha hoon… kya bol raha hoon. mera abhi just break up hua hai… maine apne bachpan ke dost ko khoya hai. Isliye main abhi thoda udas hoon ya phhir khush hoon ? mujhe thik se kuch feel nahi ho raha… zara mere pupil (black portion of eye) me dekh kar bata toh wo expand ho rahi hai ya shrink… yadi mere pupils expand hue toh main excited hoon aur yadi shrink hue toh main udas hoon… ”

“lawda ,kuch dhang se nahi dikh raha…”
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Yahi sab sochte-vicharte main bag taangkar chup-chap raat ke ek baje NH-6 me chale ja raha tha ki pata nahi do log kaha se achanak tapak pade aur mujhe chaku dikhakar wahi rok liya…ek mere saamne khada hua aur ek mere peeche…

“chal be samaan neeche rakh…” mere peeche khade shaks ne gurrate hue mujhse kaha…

“samman… samman kaise neeche rakhte hai… ab kya lund ukhadkar neeche rakh du..”

“samman nahi be… samaan. Apna bag neeche rakh”

“chal be..lavde…abhi lund fek kar marunga toh pura khandan chud jayega…”kahte hue maine un dono me se ek ko jo mere samne khada tha use dhakka diya aur NH-6 me apna safar continue kiya…lekin tabhi unme se ek ne mere kandhe par tanga bag pakad kar peeche kheecha…jiska karan main wahi peeche ki taraf ulta gir gaya….

Mere neeche girne ke baad un dono me se ek mere chhati par baitha aur mere garden me chaku rakhkar bola…

“tujhe pata bhi hai ki NH-6 me kitne murder…rape…loot hoti hai… hume khud nahi maloom ki humne kitni baar logo ko loota hai… isliye chup-chap apna bag rakh aur chalta ban….”

“pahli baat…mujhe darr nahi lag raha… dusari baat yadi tum dono mera bag lootne me kamyab bhi hue… jo ki hoge nahi… toh bhi tum log itna bhari bag lekar kaha tak bhagoge aur teesari baat tum dono apna kitna bhi jor laga lo, main tum dono ko pel dunga… bosdiwalo, apne aap ko kabhi aaine me dekha hai…ek fook marunga toh tum dono ki haddiya tak toot jayegi…chal hat…”bolkar maine apne upar baithe us patle-duble insaan ke peeth me jordar mukka mara aur wo apna peeth pakadkar wahi side me let gaya….

Apni sathi ki haalat dekhkar dusara wala bhi aaya lekin usne mujhse ladayi nahi ki balki mujhse maafi mangte hue apne sathi ki madad karne laga…..

“bhaiya humko chhod do…hum log bahut garib hai…”

“toh ? garib ho toh kya logo ki gand hee mar logo ? khair mujhe isase kya… looto.. maaro… maro…ma chudao… lekin… lekin…tum logo ne mujhpar par hamla kiya hai… isliye aise toh chhodunga nahi…waise bhi mere fans aajkal mujhpe shaq karne lage hai… toh kya kiya jaye tum dono ke sath…police ke hawale kar du kya”

“bhaiyo chaho toh humari gand mar lo…lekin police ke hawale mat karna…”dono rote hue ek sath bole…

“chal khol…”

“kya…  ”

“khol na…”

“aisa na karo bhaiya…hum log bahut jyada garib hai…”

“tum dono itne jyada garib ho ki tum logo ke paas gand hee nahi hai…. muh se hagte ho kya be…”

“humko maaf kar do…”

“tum dono ke jeb me jo-jo hai… wo sab kuch nikal kar mujhe do…”

“kya…”

“ek aur baar…kya bola toh... seedhe thane le jaunga”ek-ek jhapad un dono ko markar maine kaha….jiske baad wo dono mere hath-pair jodne lage aur rote-rote unke jeb me jo-jo tha nikal kar mujhe dene laga….

“kya be chindi choro… sirf dhayi hazar…chal koyi nahi daru ka kharcha nikal gaya…”
Hath me dhayi hazar pakad kar main utha lekin mujhe tabhi yaad aaya ki dushman ko kabhi peeth nahi dikhana chahiye aur tab toh bilkul nahi jab wo puri tarah gusse me ho aur unke paas chaku ho… isliye main turant peeche palta aur dekha ki unme se ek meri peeth par chaku khopne ki taiyari kar raha tha. 

“teri maa ka…sale mujhe chaku marne ke jugad me tha…”

apna bag peeche se samne rotate karke maine bag us chor ki hath me de mara jisase uska hath toh mujhse door ho gaya lekin chaku ab bhi uski hath me tha…usne chaku bahut kaskar pakad rakha tha…isliye maine aav na dekha taav aur apna bhari bharkam bag uthakar seedhe uske upar fek diya... is ummid se ki mere bag me rakha mera laptop sahi salamt rahega…maine uske upar bag feka aur wo wahi peeche mere bag ke sath neeche gir gaya… jiske baad maine wahi paas khade dusare wale ke sar ka baal pakda, jo khali hath wahi khada tha aur uske pet me do-teen mukka kas kar mar diya jisase wo apne aap wahi baith gaya…..

“kyun be tum dono chaku se marne wale the mujhe…”

“haan toh ,humara paisa lekar kyun bhag raha tha tu…”jise maine bag fek kar mara tha wo zameen me pade-pade hee khisiyate hue bola…

“ sun be burchatte…khair chhod…tum dono apna chor pocket dikhao toh…”neeche baithkar maine kaha

“nahi…”

“aise kaise nahi ”bolte hue maine zameen me pada chaku uthaya aur seedhe uske hatheli ke beecho-beech ghusa diya.…jispar wo bahut jor se cheekha par uska dusara sathi use bachane ke liye aage nahi aaya…wo jaha tha wahi par bina kisi movements ke apne sathi ki hatheli ki taraf dekhta raha . Wo mujhe is samay dara hua kam balki hairan jyada lag raha tha , main khud bhi apni is harqat se hairan tha par jiske hath me maine abhi-abhi chaku khopa tha wo bilkul bhi hairan nahi tha.wo toh lagatar chillaye ja raha tha… uski cheekhne ki aawaz itni tez thi ki mujhe uske dusare hath se uska hee muh dabana pad gaya…. Taaki uske cheekhne ki aawaz sunkar koyi use bachane na aa jaye

“chillata kyun hai be…mujhse adhik tujhe maloom hai ki is samay yaha koyi madad ke liye nahi aane wala…” maine uske hath me ghusa hua chaku nikala aur nishana lagakar chaku phhir se usi jagah wapas ghop diya…. “chal chilla…”

Wo abki baar aur jor se chillaya aur uske chillane ka asar hee tha ki uske sathi ne jise maine do-teen mukka markar baitha diya tha…usne apne chor pocket se nikal kar apna pura maal mere samne rakh diya….jise dekh kar meri aankhe chamak gayi….kyunki uske jeb me hazar ke note ki ek gaddi bhi thi….

“shabash…ab apne dost ke andar wale jeb se maal nikal….”

“nahi…ye humare mohalle ka dada hai…yadi maine iski jeb se sona-chandi nikal kar diya toh toh ye mujhe baad me bahut marega”

“ye toh tujhe baad me bas marega… lekin main… main toh teri maa hee chod dunga…chal jaldi se iski bhi jeb khali kar , warna iske toh hath me chaku mara hai tere toh main seedhe gardan me chaku ghusaunga ”

Jiske baad usne apne sathi ki jeb me hath dala aur jo kuch bhi uski jeb me tha nikal kar mujhe diya aur maine gaur kiya ki hum dono ke hath kanp rahe the… jo is baat ka sabot tha ki hum dono hee is kaam me nausikhiye the. abki baar meri aankh aur bhi chamki kyunki uske jeb me sone-chadi ki kayi chains, bracelets aur ek-do angoothi bhi thi….maine wo sab saman apne bag me bhara aur hazar ke note ki gaddi jaise wallet me dalne laga waise hee mujhe apne wallet me mujhe yellow colour ki ek receipt dikhayi di…

“Name-Shri Arman
Flat No. E-6….
Date- 25-09-2016”

“oh BC…ye maine kab book kiya ? acha tabhi main Nisha ko baar-baar ye bol raha tha ki chal party se chalte hai ,maine ek flat book kar rakha hai… wow,aaj toh main khud ka fan ho gaya hoon…pata nahi aage kya-kya hoga…”
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NH-6 se main wapas colony ki taraf chal pada aur gate ke paas aakar apna bag zameen par rakhkar bag me E-6 flat ki chabhi dhoondhane laga…kyunki jab maine flat book kiya hai toh zaroor chabhi bhi mere paas hee hogi…aisa maine socha aur meri ye soch ek dum sahi sabit hui kyunki mere bag ke side wale pocket me ek chabhi thi…..

“yahich hogi…mere flat ki chabhi…kya number hai mere flat ka…E-6 ya E-5…. E- 6 hoga… E-5 to us Randi Vandana(R.Vandana) ka flat hai shayad…ab maza aayega…jab main har roj nangi-nangi photos uske ghar me fekunga.Vandana Rathi...hold your choot… Shri Arman is cumming…. ”

Maine receipt me dekha flat ka no. E-6 tha. Maine wo sabhi paise aur jewellery bag me ekdum neeche dali jo maine choro se chori ki thi aur chup-chap apne flat me chala gaya….
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Subah uthkar maine adat anusar sabse pahle apna mobile uthaya aur bistar par pade-pade gaana sunne laga ki tabhi mere mobile me ek messege aaya….messege Nisha ne kiya tha isliye main ye janne ke liye bahut utsuk ho utha ki Nisha ne kya likha hoga….

“mujhse tumse bas aakhiri baar milna hai…sham ko 5 baje park me aa jana…”
“kamal hai…itna sab kuch karne ke baad bhi ? ye mujhse milna chahti hai…ab kya kahna hai ise…kahi ye in sabka koyi plan toh nahi ki mujhe park me bulwakar marwa dale…. Waise bhi aaj ki date me kisi ka kya bharosa ? nahi jaunga ,faltu me kahi lene ke dene pad gaye toh…? Waise bhi main kyun milu kisi aisi ladki se jo mere layak hee nahi hai…”

Maine apna mobile ek taraf feka aur kal raat ki robbery me meri jitni kamayi hui thi usko check karne laga….

“shuru me usne dhayi hazar diye…phhir hazar-hazar ki ek gaddi mujhe di…jisme 20 hazar the. mere account me abhi 22 hazar hai…upar se jo ye sona-chandi hai…kam se kam 60-70 hazar ka maal hoga lekin black me bechunga…isliye 40-45 se jyada nahi milega…yani ki abhi mere paas 80k ke lagbhag rupaye hai….itne me toh aish karunga main….waise bhi mujhe ab naukri ki zaroorat nahi…jab bhi paiso ki zaroorat hogi main NH-6 me robbery karne nikal jaunga…. acha idea diya hai un chutiyo ne…. phhir log mujhe kahenge ki….Shri Arman : The Criminal of NH-6 ya phhir The Robber of NH-6…ya phhir Pirates of the NH-6….NH-6 ke lootere…  sounds cool… par pahle is flat ko rahne layak banata hoon” 

.
Maine pura din laga diya apne flat ko arrange karne me… jaise ki main daru ki botal kaha rakhunga , kaha baithkar daru piyunga…apne flat ke kis room me baithkar apni criminal activities ke plan banaunga…vagerah-vagerah aur sham hote-hote tak sari arrangeent karne ke baad jab main naha dhokar bathroom se nikla toh 6 baj chuke the...maine apna mobile uthaya aur dominos wale ko order diya ki do large pizza wo fatafat le aaye… pizza order karne ke baad maine apna mobile wapas bistar me ek taraf fek diya aur full taiyar hokar park ki taraf chala…waise toh mujhe Nisha ne 5 baje bulaya tha lekin mujhe maloom tha ki wo mera intezaar zaroor karegi…isiliye main bade aaram se park ki taraf ja raha tha…

“hi….”mujhe dekhkar Nisha ne kaha…

“hi…sorry main thoda late ho gaya….”Nisha ke bagal me baithkar main bola “toh kaha hai…baki ke log”

“baki ke log…kaun…”

“wahi David aur uske gunde… “aas-paas dekhte hue main bola… “kamal hai,mujhe door-door tak na toh David dikh raha hai aur na hee koyi aisa jispar mujhe shaq ho ki wo mujhe marne aaya ho…”

“mere aalawa yaha koyi nahi hai…Arman…”

“mujhe laga ki tum logo ka mujhe marne ka plan hoga…lekin jab tum logo ka aisa koyi plan hee nahi hai toh phhir mujhe yaha kyun bulaya…”

“kyunki main tumse ye kahna chahati thi ki main tumse pyar karti hoon aur hamesha karti rahungi…par ab main aur bardasht nahi kar sakti…main tumhe bhool nahi sakti…par ab aur tumhare sath nahi rah sakti…tum jab mujhe pahli baar mile the tab tum mere liye ek mystery the aur aaj jab main tumse aakhiri baar mil rahi hoon…tab bhi tum mere liye ek mystery hee ho …mujhe nahi pata ki tumne kal raat wo sab kyun kiya aur na hee main tumhe kuch kahungi…infact maine tumse kal raat ek bahut achi chiz seekhi hai ki sirf apne bare me socho…sirf khud se pyar karo… sirf apne ahankar me jiyo… kya kahte hai ise…”

“may be Narcissism…” 

“I don’t know and I don’t care….isiliye maine ye decision liya hai ki aaj ke baad humara ye rishta yahi par khatm ho jayega….Remember Arman, jab tum mujhe pahle baar Eternity me mile the… hum dono ek-dusre se takraye the…aam taur par log ek-dusare se sorry bolte hai aur maine bola bhi tha lekin tumne mujhe sorry nahi bola…ulta mujhe hadka diya ki main tumhe line maar rahi hoon… uske baad humari mulaqat yahi isi park me hui…Arman…tumhe main bata nahi sakti ki main tumhe kitna pyar karti hoon…main tumhe kabhi bhool nahi paungi aur na hee bhoolna chahti hoon… kyunki meri life ka sabse acha samay tumhare sath beeta…toh kya hua yadi ab tum mujhse thik se pesh nahi aate…toh kya hua ki tumne meri bahut insult ki…actual me tum aise nahi ho…maine gaur kiya hai ki ye tumhari sachchayi nahi hai…tumne apne aap ko kahi chhupa rakha hai…aur main aaj tak isi ummid me thi ki ek din main tumhare us chhipe hue Arman ko bahar le aaungi….lekin main isme kamyab nahi hui aur yahi meri nakamyabi thi…galti meri thi…tum toh hamesha se aise the…tumne mujhe pahle bhi kaha tha ki samay ke sath tumhara bartaav kharab ho jayega…lekin main hee bewkoof thi jo har baar tumse baat karne pahuch jati thi… shayad main tumhare layak hee nahi aur aaj ke baad hum kabhi nahi milenge. Please… aaj ke baad mujhse milne ki koshish mat karna ”itna bolkar Nisha uthi aur waha se jaane lagi…..

“ayusman bhava…”apni aankh mijte hue maine kaha “and don’t worry… mujhme kisi ko manane ka feature bhagwan ne diya hee nahi hai… isliye befikar raho, main sapne me bhi tumse sorry nahi bolunga ya manane aaunga , reality me toh bahut door ki baat hai. Afterall I’m a Narcissist  ”

Chapter-14 : Relative Motion(Present≈Past)

“mujhe call mat karna ab aur na hee koyi sms chahiye mujhe…”cheekh kar maine kaha 

“I won’t…aur maine apna number change kar diya hai…isliye tum bhi mujhe call ya sms mat karna…”

“toh tum us David ke liye mujhe chhodkar ja rahi ho…”

“David ka toh yaha sawal hee nahi aata Arman…”wapas mudkar Nisha boli “ye kahani sirf hum dono ki thi…”

“nahi…tune jabran David ko is kahani me ghusaya… warna kisi ko kya interest hoga tere bachpan ke dost pe”

“David ne meri family ko abuse nahi kiya….David ne kal raat daru peekar hungama nahi kiya…David ne mujhe kabhi nahi rulaya…par isme bhi galti meri hee hai…mujhe kya pata tha ki David ke sath rahne ke karan tum itna insecure feel karoge…aur yahi chiz prove karti hai ki tum wo nahi ho jo tum sari duniya ko dikha rahe ho…Arman I’m sorry… tum mahan ho,lekin hum nahi..hum normal log hai aur hume normal logo ke sath rahna hee pasand hai…in short…tumhari language me kahu toh hum tumhare layak hee nahi hai…mujhe ummid hai ki jo tumhare layak hai ya jise tum chahte ho wo tumhe mil jayegi…Goodbye…Arman”

“good…bye…Goodbye…Ni…Nisha….Goodbye Nisha…love you 85 %....”

Iske baad Nisha waha se chali gayi…usne ek baar bhi peeche mudkar nahi dekha lekin main use tab tak dekhta raha jab tak ki wo mere aankho ke samne se oojhal nahi ho gayi…

“toh kya yahi ant hai ? the great Arman aur Nisha ki story ka….? Ya phhir koyi aur twist hai…aur ye meri aankh se aansu kyun nikal rahe hai…shayad kam sone ki vazah se…. mujhe koyi fark nahi padta kisi ke aane-jaane se.main toh bilkul bhi dukhi nahi hoon…ya phhir hoon lekin mujhe pata tak nahi hai…? …anyway ,lets follow the procedure…”

Maine goggle lagaya aur cigarette jalakar lambe-lambe kash marte hue Nisha ko jaate hue dekhta raha…aur tabhich mere muh se nikla…

“Love you ,Nisha….now 100 %.....i hope you’ll find your right one…better than me…smarter than me… I’ll always remember your tight boobs ”
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Meri zindagi se ab kayi logo ka patta kat chukka tha jaise ki Varun… Nisha… David… Sonam… Shipra isliye mujhe ab bahut sukoon tha…mera matlab main bata nahi sakta ki in sabke chale jaane se main kitna khush hoon …ab no more ..time pe ye karna…wo karna aur no more Nisha ke boring call jhelna…kuch dino se toh BC Varun bhi philosopher ke mafiq lecture dene laga tha matlab ki wo launda jo 3 cm diameter ka circle bhi dhang se nahi bana sakta tha wo mujhe aajkal ye bata raha tha mujhe life me kya karna chahiye. Wo toh phhir bhi chalo mera dost hai… I mean dost tha, isliye use main ignore bhi kar sakta hoon lekin ye David… Nisha par meri full sulgi hui thi aur toh aur tumhe yakin nahi hoga ki Sonam bhi mujhe suggestions de chuki hai. sabki suggestion chahe kitni bhi alag kyun na ho, kitni bhi achchhi kyun na ho… sab me 9 to 5 wali job common rahti hai…BC sale…inke suggestion sunkar mujhe aisa lagta hai ki jaise koyi mujhe ye sikha raha ho ki mujhe basketball kaise khelna hai…par ab jo aham sawal tha wo ye ki ab iske aage kya…ab kya meri puri zindagi E-6 me akele beetegi ?kitna achchha ho ki colony me rahne wale sab log mar jaye. Tab toh sala maza hee aa jaye. Ya phhir main inko ek-ek karke marna shuru kar du. ?
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Park me main bahut der tak baitha raha aur jab raat ko 9 baje park band karne ka samay hua toh colony ke guard ne mujhe hosh me lakar waha se jaane ke liye kaha…

“9 baj gaye…. ? you're right... 9 baj gaye hai”apni aankhe jaldi-jaldi laplapate hue ghadi me time dekhkar maine kaha “acha hua us dominos wale ko phone karke bol diya tha ki mere na rahne par parcel gate ke andar rakh de….”

Main park se bahar nikalkar apne flat ki taraf chal diya.is puri colony me E-6 sabse aakhiri flat tha isliye jab se main yaha shift hua tha tab se mujhe aisi feeling aane lagi thi jaise ki main is duniya ke sabse aakhiri chhor me rahta hoon…main apne flat ke andar ghusa aur pizza uthakar andar jaane laga toh dekha ki E-5 ki light jal rahi thi…..

“Rathi…ise zara ahsaas dilate hoon ki main yaha aa gaya hoon…lekin kaise ? ise maa-behan ki gali du ya phhir deewar me chadhkar uske side moot du ya phhir iske boundary ki deewar me patthar se choot ka diagram bana du ? ek kaam karta hoon…”

Maine apne room ka lock kholkar parcel andar rakha aur bahar se ek patthar uthakar Rathi ke darwaje par nishana sadhne laga…..

“darwaje pe nahi…khidki me maar…”

“good idea, two point zero”

Maine darwaje se khidki par apna target shift kiya aur ghuma kar R.Rathi ki khidki par patthar mar aur bhagkar apne room ke andar ghus gaya….Patthar seedhe jakar Rathi mam ki khidki se takraya tha… kyunki kaanch tootne ki bahut tez aawaz mere kano me padi thi.

“tu ruk…Vandana Rathi…tujhe yaha se shift nahi karwaya toh bolna…gand fad dalunga teri main ab…tujhe pata nahi ki tune kis-se panga liya hai…. Bas mera mood thoda aur satakne de tere upar, phhir dekh main kya-kya karta hoon…. Tune mujhe do letters ka option diya tha na… wahi do letter main roll karke tere dono chhed me dalunga… Good night.”

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Main chahe upar se kitna bhi dikhawa kar loon lekin isme koyi shaq nahi ki Main ab bilkul akela ho gaya tha…mera ab na toh koyi dost tha aur na hee koyi girlfriend…aur na hee mere paas koyi kaam tha…yani ki perfect life… yahi toh main chahta tha…par ab sabse bada jo sawal tha wo ye ki ab kya ? Maine Arun ke new number pe call kiya , jo usne mujhe yaha aakar diya tha… 

“aur lawde kaha hai…”Arun ke call receive karte hee main turant bol utha… lekin us taraf se koyi aawaz nahi aayi…

“bolega be bosdiwale…”maine phhir se Arun ke samman me pyar bhare shabd kahe… lekin abki baar bhi udhar se koyi aawaz nahi aayi… jis-se mujhe apni galti ka ahsaas hua ki mujhe direct gali se shuruat nahi karna chahiye tha.

“hello… hello…. Kuch toh bol…”

“kaun hai bad-tameez”ek aurat ki cheekhti hui aawaz mere kaan me padi, jiske turant baad maine call disconnect ki aur khud se bola “lagta hai Arun ki Maa ya Behan ne call uthaya tha… relax… hota hai aisa…”

Mobile jeb me rakhkar maine bistar se 6 feet ki doori naapi aur waha paas ek kapda rakhkar dusare room me gaya aur dusare room se daudkar jaha maine marking ke liye kapda tha... waha se seedhe bistar par jump kiya 

“woohoo , I did it…”dhadam se land hote hue maine hafte hue kaha par phhir thodi der baad mujhe pata chala ki main asal me nahi haaf raha tha balki hafne ki acting kar raha tha....

Ab kya karu… pahle school kiya , phhir degree bhi hasil ki …do –teen jagah naukri bhi ki aur un sabne mujhe naukri se nikal diya...toh ab kya ? another job ? ya phhir kuch aur….

“yadi main phhir koyi private naukri karunga toh phhir se nikal ke fek diya jaunga…isliye abki baar, Modi Sarkar…yani ki ab samay aa gaya hai…jab main sarkari naukri ke liye taiyari karu….kyunki yahi wo field hai jaha main apne seniors se ladayi karke bhi bana rah sakta hoon…okay…phhir done ki mujhe sarkari naukri karni hai…lekin kaun si…IAS ? nahi lawda…isme gand fad mehnat hai…GATE ? ye thik hai…ab apun gate ki taiyari karunga aur gate ke sath-sath khidki…bhi nikal lunga….”

“waise gate se yaad aaya ki gate ka form bharna shuru ho gaya hoga…toh bhar du ?”

“bhar de…”

“pakka… padhte waqt disturb toh nahi karega na…”

“version 2.0’s promise”

“pakka na…”

“ab kya lawda sperm se likh kar du…”

“ok, done phhir….”
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Maine gate ka form bhara aur gate ka form bharne ke baad zameen par let kar cigarette peete hue gate ki preparation ka plan banana laga…

“ek din me chaubis ghante…jisme se char ghante sone ke liye…dus ghante padhai ke liye…do ghante cigarette aur daru peene ke liye…10+4+2= 16…phhir bhi 8 ghante bach rahe hai…chalo isme se do ghante NH-6 me loot ke liye nikal deta hoon….phhir bhi 6 ghante seedhe-seedhe khali hai…ok…16 ghante gate ki preparation…char ghante sone ke liye aur…do ghante NH-6 me dhamaka karne ke liye aur baki bache do ghante cigarette aur daru peene ke liye…16+4+2+2= 24 hours…L.H.S. = R.H.S. , hence proved….lekin aaj se nahi…abhi toh bahut taiyari karni hai….”
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Yahi sochate hue main zameen par letkar bina kash khiche cigarette jalata raha aur phhir pura dum lagakar ek kash khicha.cigarette ke us ek dumdar kash ke dauran meri nazar ceiling fan par gayi….fan bahut tez chal raha tha aur jis direction me pankha ghoom raha tha(clockwise) meri aankh bhi usi direction me ghoomne lagi…shuru-shuru me toh mere aankh ke ghoomne ki speed bahut slow thi…lekin samay ke sath mere aankh ki bhi ghoomne ki speed badhti gayi….maine ye sab aise hee time pass ke liye shuru kiya tha lekin ab ye rook nahi raha tha…meri aankh itni tez rotate karne lagi thi mera sar chakrane laga tha…aur phhir ek samay aisa aaya jab meri aankh ki rotational speed fan ke rotational speed ko match kar gayi….jiska pata mujhe tab chala jab fan dheere-dheere slow hokar rook gaya tha…lekin ye haqiqat me nahi hua tha….haqiqat me toh fan ab bhi ghoom raha tha…jiski hawa main mahsoos kar sakta tha…actually ho ye raha tha ki mere aankh ki rotational speed fan ki speed ke equal ho gayi thi…yani ki fan aur mere aankh ke beech relative motion zero ho chukka tha…isliye mere room ka ceiling fan mujhe rooka hua dikh raha tha…jabki actual me wo bahut tez speed ke sath ghoom raha tha aur meri aankh bhi.

Main kab tak aise hee zameen par pada raha mujhe nahi maloom par bahar jab kisi ne mera name pukara toh main mano hosh me aaya aur apni aankh mijte hue bahar gaya…..

“Varun tu… ?”

“kyun be…aaj coaching nahi jana kya…” 

“lawda,phhir se past me  never mind…pankhe ki maa ki choot….”

“kya bol raha hai be…chal jaldi…warna janta hai na ki physics wala teacher kaise insult karta hai…”

“tu do minute rook, main do minute me aaya…”

Varun ko rukne ke liye kahkar main andar gaya aur apne bag se sara samaan zameen me fek-kar sirf ek rough copy bag me dalkar bahar aa gaya. maine Physics ki book bhi nahi li thi kyunki jo Physics main tution me padhne wala tha ,wo sab mujhe pata tha balki us-se kuch jyada hee matlba bahut jyada. You know its apun’s language….maine apne gharwalo ko aawaz di…lekin meri aawaz sunkar koyi nahi aaya jis-se maine ek aur baar aawaz di par nateeza wahi raha…yani ki is baar bhi kisi ne koyi response nahi diya…jisase mujhe shaq hua ki kahi kisi ne silently mere ghar walo ko tapka toh nahi diya…isliye maine pura ghar chhan mara …..

“kamal hai ,mere ghar me mere aalwa koyi nahi hai…”bahar aate hue main Varun se bola “tujhe pata hai kya Varun ki mere gharwale kaha gaye hai…”

“mujhe kaise pata hoga…”apna kandha uchkate hue Varun ne jor se jawab diya….

“toh chillata kahe hai be…”ek mukka markar maine Varun se kaha…

“waise tune mujhe kal school me bataya tha ki tu ,kal apne family ke sath kisi Pandey ji ke yaha jayega…lagta hai tere gharwale tujhe chhodkar chale gaye… main toh ye bhool hee gaya tha, warna tere ghar thode aata.lekin achchha hee hua ki aa gaya”

“ho sakta hai…main toh so raha tha…ya phhir ye bhi ho sakta hai ki maine hee jaane ke liye mana kar diya ho…waise aaj taarikh kaun si hai…”

“28”

“full form me bata be..”

“28th November 2009…”

“November….mahina chal raha hai ? ”

“haan toh isme itna khush kyun ho raha hai….”

“chal bata ki 2011 me world cup kaun jeetega…”

“India…”Varun ne jawab diya….

Aur Varun ka jawab sunte hee main road par khushi se nachne laga…yesss…yani ki yun hardum past me aana meri koyi bimari nahi hai…balki ek ability hai…main past events ko change kar sakta hoon…past me jakar apna messege de sakta hoon…jiske according sab kuch real me change ho sakta hai…toh kya is tarah main apne college ki story badal sakta hoon ? bilkul badal sakta hoon…? Main councilling ke dauran us college ka option hee nahi dalunga…jisme main padh chuka hoon…is tarah main apna future safe kar lunga…yay… main mahan, mera sab kuch mahan…

“itna naach kyun raha hai…”mujhe bakchod ki tarah sadak par kudate-fadte dekh Varun ne pucha…

“tu nahi samjhega…tu ye bata ki 2015 me india world cup jeetegi ya nahi…”

“mujhe kya pata…wo toh tu kal school me ek ladke se 2011 world cup kaun jeetega is topic me ladayi kar raha tha…tera kahna tha ki India aur us ladke ka kahna tha ki Australia…aur tu ab mujhse na lade isliye maine India kah diya….”

“lavde ke baal…”apne emotion ko control karke maine Varun ke pichhwade me ek laat meri aur badle me apne pichhwade me ek laat bhi khayi aur phhir apna pichhwada sahlate hue bola…

“main khamkha kya-kya sochne laga tha…lekin tune mere sare armano par muh se mutth mar diya…”

“muh se mutth…?”bolkar Varun apna muh alag-alag shape me banana laga… “yuck”

“ab ye kya kar raha hai…”

“muh se mutth maar raha hoon…”

“bakchod sale…acha ye bata…tution me kaun sa topic chal raha hai…”

“laws of motion…”

“mujhse sab banta hai…”
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Kya maine kabhi apne school ke physics teacher ke bare me bataya hai ? mujhe thik dhang se yaad nahi…isliye yadi bataya bhi ho toh ,dobara bata deta hoon…humare school ke Physics teacher ka name Amarnath Shukla tha…aur sala ek number ka chodu…bakchod…lanth aadmi tha…aap zindagi me ek baar kisi ladki ko samajh sakte ho lekin Amarnath ko samajh pana….koyi chance hee nahi….humne uska name pyar se Amaru rakha hua tha…jo ki use bhi pata tha…lekin wo ise enjoy karta tha…uski ek khas property thi ki wo standard temperature aur atmospheric pressure me kisi ke bhi samne, kisi ko bhi… kuch bhi bol deta tha ,phhir chahe wo uske students ho ya phhir uska beta…ya phhir uski biwi. Uski biwi tana-tan maal thi aur ghar me aane wale har mard ko vaasna ki nazar dekhti thi…ya phhir nahi dekhti thi…main is bare me confirm nahi hoon…lekin Amaru ka launda bahut pahuchi hui chiz tha…ghar me jaha wo gand-fati me rahta wahi bahar full ayyashi pelta tha…mujhe ab bhi yaad hai Amaru ke bete ka ek kissa jisme usne apne se 6 saal badi ladki ko bus-stand me khullam khulla propose mara tha…wo bhi apne liye nahi balki apni colony me rahne wale apne jaise hee ek launde ke liye… us din humari toh gand hee fat gayi thi aur hum soch me pad gaye the ki BC Amaru ne kis angle se apni biwi ko chodkar ise paida kiya hai.anyway….

Amaru ko Physics ke bare me knowledge toh bahut tha lekin uske ajeeb bartaav ke karan uski class science ki class kam…comedy classes jyada lagti thi…aur bas yahi se mujhe physics me interest aaya…dusare shabdo me kahu toh Amaru mera inspiration tha aur yadi ise teesare sabdo me kahu toh Amaru hee wo shaks tha jis-se maine seekha tha ki Physics aur bakchodi ko mixup kaise karna hai.
Hum paanch launde Amaru ke yaha physics padhne jaya karte the…par waha padhayi kam bakchodi jyada hoti thi…abhi Shukla ji ne first law of motion padhaya hee tha ki unhe bhookh lagne lagi….aur unhone apni biwi ko khana lane ke liye kaha….

“tum log bhi khaoge kya…”

“nahi sir…”Varun ne jawab diya…

“dekho agla topic hai force yani ki bal…jab tum kisi bhi chiz ko dhakka dete ho aur wo gati karne lagti hai toh usme bal ki ek matra kaam karti hai…jise hum F=ma se nikalte hai…lekin yadi bal lagane se wo chiz ya vastu gati nahi karti toh….”

“sir, wo bal nikalne ka derivation aapne nahi bataya…”smart banne ki koshish karte hue Varun ne ek sawal daga…

“ajeeb aadmi ho yar, tum toh Physics ki maiyya chod de rahe ho.beech me disturb kyun kar rahe ho..bakchod-vakchod ho ka…Arman, maro sale ko…”

Amarnath sir ne aisa kaha…jo ki unka chir-parichit andaaz tha aur phhir maine bhi apne chir-parichit andaaz me ghuma ke ek mukka Varun ki peeth me jama diya…
______________________________

“ab aage se disturb mat karna…. Dekho,jab tum kisi bhi chiz ko dhakka dete ho aur wo gati karne lagti hai toh usme bal ki ek matra hoti hai…jise hum F=ma se nikalte hai…lekin yadi bal lagane se wo chiz ya vastu gati nahi karti toh usme lagaya gaya bal zero hota hai lekin iska matlab ye nahi hota ki usme koyi bal nahi lagaya gaya…example dekho…”

Example dikhane ke liye Amarnath sir apni table se uthe aur apna pura jor lagakar apni ghar ki deewar ko dono hatho se dhakka dete hue bole…

“ye dekhhhoo… maine is deewar me apne dono hatho se bal lagaya lekin deewar me koyi motion nahi hua…lekin yaad rakhna ki bal phhir bhi lag raha hai…lag raha hai…lagte hee ja raha hai…ufff…gand fat gayi”

jo example Amarnath ne hume bataya tha…wo physics ki book me bhi tha aur hum sab easily samajh bhi gaye the lekin Amarnath sir the ki hume demonstration dene me tule hue the…wo is samay deewar ko puri taqat ke sath dhakel rahe the aur unhe aisa karte dekh hum sab jor-jor se hasne lage…

“dekho…deewar ki position me koyi changes nahi hai…lekin bal lag raha hai…lag raha hai…kamal hai yar, main idhar padha raha hoon …udhar tum log has rahe ho…bakchod ho ka sab ke sab…tumlog ko physics padhane se achchha hai ki main konte me jakar mutth maar loon…”

Bal lagne ka demonstration dene ke baad Amarnath sir wapas apni chair par baithe aur bistar ki chadar se apna paseena pochhne lage…

“sir, ab bhi bal lag raha hai kya…”maine pucha…

“bal lag raha hai aur lagte hee ja raha hai”

Amarnath ne apna paseena saaf karne ke baad apne launde ko bulaya aur apne jeb se saman ki list nikal kar use saman lane ke liye kaha.jise unka launda turant lekar aa gaya…

“tumhara khana nahi bana kya…”andar apni biwi ko aawaz marte hue sir ne puchha

“bas nikal rahi hoon”

“jaldi lao…”

Ab hume padhana chhod Sir wo saman dekhne lage ,jo unka beta lekar aaya tha…aur jab unhone bag me rakha saman pura check kar liya toh apne bête ko paas bulaya aur use ek thappad markar puchha…

“poha kyun nahi laya…”

“mummi ne mana kiya tha…”cheekhte hue unke bête ne jawab diya jispar sir ne ek aur thappad mar kar kaha…

“hum na, tumhari mahtari ke gand me char laat markar wapas bhej denge…samjhe…ab ja yaha se aur apni mahtari ko bol ki khana laye”

Itne me unki wife unke liye khana lekar aa gayi…unki wife ne humse bhi pucha ki kya hum log bhi khana khayenge lekin humare naa bolne par wo hum sabko smile dekar andar chali gayi….Amarnath sir bahut der tak thali ko ghoorte rahe aur phhir eka-ek tez aawaz me unhone apni biwi se pucha…

“ye kya banayi ho ji…”

“kadhi…chawal “unki biwi ne andar se hee jawab diya…

“ye kadhi chawal hai….ya tatti chawal…kyun ji Varun, tum dekh ke batao…ki ye kya hai…”

“nahi sir…mujhe nahi dekhna…”

“are dekho toh…tatti type se dikh rahi hai ya nahi…’

“yuck…”

“bathroom se tatti lakar chawal me mila diya hai…main nahi khaunga “bolkar Amarnath ne thali zameen par fek di…jisase tatti chawal…sorry I mean kadhi chawal zameen par idhar-udhar fail gaya aur jis thali me kadhi chawal tha wo round-round wahi zameen par ghoomne laga…

Shuru me mujhe ye normal laga lekin jab bahut der tak wo thali round-round ghoomte rahi toh mera bheja apni jagah se khiska aur maine apne aas-paas dekha. Mere saare dost dheere-dheere waha se gayab ho rahe the aur waha se jab bhi koyi gayab hota tab gayab hone ke pahle unka sharir halka sa chamkane lagta tha.ab waha sirf main akela baacha tha…waha ab na toh Varun tha …na hee mere dost aur na hee Amarnath sir…sab log waha se achanak gayab ho gaye the par zameen me giri wo thali ab bhi usi speed ke sath waha zameen par gol-gol ghoom rahi thi…

“woohooo iska matlab ab main wapas present me jaane wala hoon…kitna hoshiyar hoon main…aur abki baar toh mujhe darr bhi nahi lag raha…ok… ulti ginti shuru….three…two…one…”bolte hue maine apni aankhe band ki aur thodi der baad apni aankhe kholi….

“ye kaise mumkin hai…main ab bhi yahi hoon…”chauk kar maine kaha…maine phhir se apni aankhe band ki aur teen tak ki ulti ginti shuru ki…

“abki baar hindi me karta hoon, lagta hai time travel walo ko English nahi aati.ok…teen…paune teen…dhayi…do…ek...vartman me aapka swagat hai… par ye kya…main phhir ab bhi hoon…wtf…ye kaam kyun nahi kar raha..kahi maine apni ability kho toh nahi di..”

“tum yaha se tab tak nahi jaoge …jab tak main nahi chah leti…”andar se bahar aate hue Amarnath ki biwi boli…

Maine ek baar phhir gol-gol ghoom rahi thali ki taraf dekha….ye kaise possible hai..ye toh sarasar physics ke khilaf hai…mana ki Amaru ne isme bal lagaya tha…lekin isme toh ab bhi bal lag raha hai…lag raha hai….lagte hee jar aha hai.rukne ka naam hee nahi le raha hai.

“kya…tumne meri aawaz nahi suni…tum yaha se tab tak nahi jaoge …jab tak main nahi chah leti…”mere saamne khadi hote hui Amarnath ki biwi boli…

“maine suni thi..par mujhe maloom hai janeman ki, tu real nahi hai…isliye maine dhyan nahi diya…”Amarnath sir ki biwi ki taraf dekhte hue main bola aur sath me buri tarah chauk bhi gaya…. 

Amarnath sir ki biwi is samay mere samne khadi thi…par ye mere buri tarah chaukne ki vazah nahi thi…main buri tarah chauka, uski vazah ye thi ki Amarnath ki biwi mere samne is samay puri nangi khadi thi aur unka pura badan pani me bhiga hua tha….maine unhe dekha aur unhe dekhte hee main unhe dekhta rah gaya… 

“mujhe pata hai ki…tum inke paas coaching padhne kyun aate ho…tum apne dosto se kahte ho ki Amarnath sir bahut funny hai…isliye tum unke paas padhne jaate ho…lekin main aur tum bhali-bhati jante hai ki yaha tum kyun aate ho…yaha tum mere liye aate ho….”aage badhte hue wo boli…aur jaise-jaise wo meri taraf badh rahi thi mera gala sookhta ja raha tha…

Amarnath sir ki biwi apne pure badan se pani tapkate hue bistar par chadhi aur phhir apne ek pair se mere lund ko sahlane lagi…..sahlane kya,ye bolo masalne lagi…yaha tak usko bhi.

“tum batao Arman…kya tum mujhe chodne ki ichchha lekar yaha nahi aayt…”

“haan…mera matlab na…bilkul nahi”

“mujhe…jhooth bardasht nahi…. sach batao…”
unhone apni peeth mere taraf kar di aur jhuk kar apni gand meri taraf karke mujhse puchhi

“kya tum isme apna lund nahi ghusana chahte….”

“chahta hoon..mera matlab nahi chahta hoon..aaa, abey apna pair toh hata raand” dard se karahte hue maine kaha…

Jiske baad Amarnath sir ki biwi wapas meri oor palti aur apna ek pair mere lund se hatakar seedhe mere mathe par rakh kar mujhe bistar me let jaane ka ishara kiya….mere bistar par let jane ke baad usne apna ek pair mere baye kandhe ke bagal me rakha aur apna dusara pair mere daye kandhe ke bagal me rakha…jisase uske sharir aur choot se pani tapak kar seedhe mere muh me girne laga….maine apna muh band kiya aur use hatane ki koshish ki…lekin wo apni jagah se hili tak nahi…maine ek aur baar koshish ki lekin wo thi ki pahad ke mafiq apni jagah par khadi rahi…yani ki bal lag raha tha lekin motion zero tha….aur uske choot se pani ki boond lagatar muh me gir rahi thi….maine use apne upar se hatane ki kayi koshish ki lekin main har baar nakam raha...wo bahut der tak mere upar pani tapkati rahi aur phhir ahiste se wo mere muh ke upar baith gayi…jisase uski choot ya phhir gand seedhe mere muh ke contact me aaya….

“iski maa ka…bc randi….uth…Sali…burchatta samajh ke rakhi hai kya mujhe…abey main Shri Arman hoon…” ghuti-ghuti aawaz me maine kaha…lekin Amarnath sir ki biwi thi ki mere upar se hatne ka naam hee nahi le rahi thi…balki wo apne choot ko mere muh me aur bhi jyada force ke sath dabaye ja rahi thi…jisase mera dum ghootne laga… mujhe saans lene me dikkat hone lagi…meri aankhe dum ghutne ki vazah se ab apne aap band hone lagi thi aur apni aankh puri tarah se band hone ke pahle maine jo aakhiri chiz dekhi wo ye ki jo thali itni der se non-stop full speed ke sath ghoom rahi thi…uski speed ab dheere-dheere kam ho rahi thi….

“ab samjha…”lagatar kam hoti thali ki speed ko dekhkar maine khud se kaha 

“jaise-jaise thali ki speed kam hogi, meri jaan waise-waise version 1.0 se 3.0 me transfer hogi aur jab thali ekdum se ruk jayegi…tab main completely version 3.0 me transfer ho jaunga…ye sara khel relative motion ka hai, BC….anyway, abki baar counting sankrit me karta hoon… shayad safal ho jaun…ok… countdown in sanskrit…treeni…dve…ekam…”
.

Aur abki baar sanskrit me meri counting kaam kar gayi…main sach me apne present time me laut chuka tha…jiska andaza mujhe tab hua jab maine khud ko apne flat me pankhe ke neeche leta hua paya… maine dekha ki pankhe ki speed lagatar badh rahi thi yani ki ab meri aankh aur pankhe ke beech Relative motion ab zero nahi tha…

“ab samjha ki main past me kyun chala jata hoon…actually ye sab kuch relative motion ka kamal hai…time ko teen part me divide kiya gaya hai….present…past..future aur in sabki apni alag-alag speed bhi hogi…aur isiliye hum time ke is boundation ko paar nahi kar pate par jab kinhi do time ki yani ki Past,Present ya present,future ki velocity kisi bhi vyakti ke liye same ho jati hai toh wo vyakti time ke is boundation ko cross kar sakta hai…jaise ki kuch dino se mere sath ho raha hai...actual me ye sab relative motion ka khel hai…jab-jab main past me jata hoon tab-tab mere liye past aur present ki relative speed zero hoti hai…nahi zero nahi…zero se thodi adhik hoti hogi…tabhi toh present ka ek ghanta past ke lagbhag 12 ghante ke barabar hota hai…yani ki relative velocity zero nahi hoti balki zero se thodi adhik hoti hai…par itni adhik nahi ki main past me na ja saku…jaise ki do train jo dheere-dheere chal rahi hai…unme se ek train ka passenger dusari train me kood kar chala jata hai..kyunki us samay un dono train ki speed bahut kam hoti hai….aur jab ye past aur present wapas apne original speed me move karne lagte hai toh main past dwara wapas apne samay me fek diya jata hoon…kyunki tab santulan banaye rakhne ke liye present mujhe wapas bula leta hai…yani ki kul milakar ye sab relative velocity ka khel hai…is it ? ya phhir koyi aur reason hai ? gand maraye…Shri Arman toh ab daru peekar mathematics solve karenge…wo bhi raatbhar. Kitna stamina hai mere andar…main just abhi-abhi ek duniya se dusari duniya me aaya hoon aur aate hee padhne baith gaya sach kahta hoon maine apne se jyada mahan insaan aaj tak nahi dekha….aur isi mahanta ko sakshi maankar main ye shapath leta hoon ki main Physics-Putra Shri Arman, kal Ganga-Jamuna randi chodne jaunga.”

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to understand this chapter completely pls see "clear your confusion" column in 1st page

Chapter-15: Ganga-Jamuna

Update-47

is it ? ya phhir koyi aur reason hai ? gand maraye…Shri Arman toh ab daru peekar mathematics solve karenge…wo bhi raatbhar. Kitna stamina hai mere andar…main just abhi-abhi ek duniya se dusari duniya me aaya hoon aura ate hee padhne baith gaya. sach kahta hoon maine apne se jyada mahan insaan aaj tak nahi dekha….aur isi mahanta ko sakshi maankar main ye shapath leta hoon ki main Physics-Putra Shri Arman, kal Ganga-Jamuna randi chodne jaunga.”
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Main apne room se bahar nikla aur dekha ki Vandana Rathi ka flat yani ki E-5 ki khidki tooti hui thi...lekin maine uspar jyada dhyan nahi diya Aur waha se aage badh gaya….

“rook BC…aaj goli marunga…bahut udd rahi thi Sharda Enterprises me…ab tere wahi pankh…jiske dum par tu itna udd rahi thi…unhe katkar teri gand me nahi bhar diya toh bolna….Vandana Rathi, tere achchhe din aane wale hai..”

Vandana Rathi ko aisi kayi galiya dekar main colony se bahar aaya aur NH-6 me khade hokar auto ka intezaar karne laga….tabhi ek autowala mere paas aakar ruka…

“kaha malik…”auto rok kar auto wale ne mujhse pucha…

“Ganga-jamuna…itwari…”

“baitho…”

“hata nahi jaunga…”bolkar main auto se thoda door aa gaya…

“kyun nahi jaoge malik…”apni garden side se nikal kar us autowale ne pucha…

“mujhe tere auto ka number nahi pasand…upar se tera auto diesel se chalta hai jiske chalte humara environment ka santulan bigad raha hai aur main nahi chahta ki log ye bole ki Shri Arman ko apne earth ke environment ki koyi parvaah nahi hai…tu khud soch itna bada aadmi hokar main aisa chhota kaam karunga…”goggle lagate hue maine kaha “so best option for you is just get lost…”

Maine us auto me nahi gaya aur na hee uske baad aane wale agle teen auto me…problem wahi ki wo sab auto diesel se chalne wale the…

“ganga-jamuna, itwari chaloge kya…”finally jab ek petrol se chalne wala auto aaya toh use rukwa kar maine puchha…jiske baad wo auto wala aur uske auto me baithe sabhi log mujhe ghoor kar dekhne lage…

“aise kya dekh rahe ho tum sab…tum log bhi chalo….”

“dedh sau lagega…”

“arey tu do sau le liyo…lekin ekdum perfect point me chhodna padega…wo kya hai paidal chalne me energy loss ho jati hai”

“baitho phhir…”

Itwari yani ki Ganga Jamuna red light area pahuchane me mujhe yahi kuch 40-45 minutes lage aur aakhir me auto me main aur sirf wo autowala tha….

“koyi lafda toh nahi hota na idhar….”auto se utar kar maine puchha…

“kis chiz ka lafda bhai…sab kuch toh khulla hai…ab chaho toh video bana lo…yaha koyi kuch nahi bolne wala…yaha ki ladkiya chahe kitne hee kapde pahan le…logo ko wo nangi hee nazar aati hai…”

“le tu apna do sau pakad…maine toh tujhse yaha hone wale lafde ke bare me pucha tha…lekin tum toh lawda gyan hee chodne lage…mujhe koyi fark nahi padta ki kaun kis halat me hai”

“thik hai phhir…”paise jeb me rakhte hue us autowale ne ek taraf ishara kiya aur bola “bas daddu ke area me kadam mat rakhna….wo us taraf uska ilaka hai…warna katta chala dega…abhi ek hafte pahle ki hee baat hai…uske under ki ek rakhail apne premi ke sath bhagne ki koshish me thi…daddu ne pure ilaake me dauda-dauda kar us launde ko mara…”

“aur us rakhail ka kya hua…”

“uska toh pata nahi par kahte hai ki…daddu ne beeso aadmiyo ko ek sath uske kamre me bhej diya…pahle toh unhone us rakhail ke jism ko khoob masla aur phhir jaan se maar diya…isliye daddu ke ilaake me bilkul bhi mat jana…”

“acha thik hai… main yadi zinda raha toh wapas milunga…”autowale ko hath dikhate hue maine kaha
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Ganga-Jamuna….kitna pavitra name hai ye…pata nahi kis chutiye ne ye name is ilaake ko de diya tha.koyi kahta hai hai ye name do nritaki(dancer) Ganga aur Jamuna ki vazah se pada tha. Ganga-jamuna ki kya jhakkas arrangement thi…sadak ke left side me ek line se sirf ghar hee ghar bane the ,beech-beech me cigarette aur chay ke thele bhi the aur ghar ke samne char-paanch ladkiya…aurate baithi hui thi ya khadi thi…aur sabki kamar zero size…kuch gori thi toh kuch saanwali thi…par thi sab maal ki maal….us autowale ne sahi kaha tha…yaha ki ladkiya chahe jitne bhi kapde pahan le… nazar wo nangi hee aati hai…maine ek aur chiz jo gaur ki wo ye ki waha itne saare ghar the lekin ek bhi ghar ke saamne koyi mard jaat ka prani nahi tha…jaha dekho sirf maal hee maal…lekin sadak ke right side me jis taraf main chal raha tha udhar iske ulat hee mahol tha….sadak ke right side me badhiya badi-badi dukane thi…jaha mujhe aurat jaat ki koyi prani nazar nahi aa rahi thi…mujhe sadak ke right side me jo bhi dikhta wo ya toh koyi ladka hota…ya koyi aadmi ya phhir koyi budha…..aur sab apne-apne kaam me busy the…isliye maine bhi goggle lagaya aur cigarette peete hue apne kaam me busy ho gaya…main sadak ke right side me bane ek chay wale ke paas gaya aur bola…

“Daddu bhai kaha milenge….”

“kaun Daddu bhai…?”

“main police ka aadmi nahi hoon be…jo mujhse chhipa raha hai…mujhe toh bas kuch kaam hai Daddu se…”

“hum kono Daddu ko nahi janat hoon…”

“gadfatt kahi ka…”waha se aage badhte hue maine kaha…aur next thele wale ke paas gaya…jaha phhir se mujhe wahi sab kuch sun-ne ko mila jo ki mujhe pahle thele wale se sunne ko mila tha yani ki wo bhi ek number ka gadfatt aadmi tha…isliye abki baar main teesare thele wale ke paas gaya aur jate hee bola ki main police ka aadmi hoon jisase wo thele wala thoda saham gaya aur mere bina kuch puchhe hee bol pada…

“mazboori me ye sab karna padta hai sahib…warna kaun apni biwi ki dalali karna chahega…”

“jurm…jurm hota hai …chahe mazboori me kyun na kiya gaya ho…chal thane…”

“humka maaf kai do sahib…”

“chal nikal hazar rupaye…”

“hazar rupaye…oo toh abhi humre paas nahi hai…”hath jodte hue usne mujhse kaha…

“chal phhir ye bata ki Daddu kidhar rahta hai aur yadi tune bola ki kaun daddu…toh teri biwi ko toh chodunga hee…tujhe bhi thane me lejakar chodunga…isliye seedhe-seedhe apna muh khol aur Daddu ka address bata…”

“kaun Daddu…”

“sale dalle…”uski garden pakad kar dabate hue main bola “chal apna boriya-bistar bandh…aaj tujhe thane lejakr police ka danda teri gand me nahi dala toh mera name bhi ACP Arman nahi…”

“humka jaye do...” mere pair pakad kar rote hue wo bola aur tab meri fati ki kahi koyi panga na jaye…isliye maine use uthaya aur use chup karate hue bola….

“ek shart par…main tujhe chhodunga…pahle ye bata teri biwi kaha hai…”

“kyun…”

“ab ye bhi main hee batau…chal mujhe lekar…”
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Us thele wale ne apna thela khiska kar wahi paas me ek dusare thele wale ke paas apna thela khada kar diya aur mujhe lekar waha se chal pada…jaha usne apna thela laga rakha tha uske thik samne sadak ke us paar uska ghar tha…lekin wo mujhe peeche se ghuma kar le gaya… aur ghar ke peeche wala darwaza jor-jor se khatkhataya…

“aayi…”andar se ek aawaz aayi…

Aawaz toh normal thi lekin darwaza khulne ke baad jo maal bahar aayi wo normal nahi thi…wo BC itni hot aur itni jyada sexy thi ki mujhe ek pal ko laga ki mera pant me hee gir jayega…lekin maine khud ko control kiya aur andar gaya…mere andar jaane ke baad wo aadmi jo mujhe yaha tak lekar aaya tha waha se chup chap khisak liya…jiske baad us aurat ne andar se room band karke mujhe ek kamre me aane ka ishara kiya…maine pure ghar ka jayja liya…us ghar me teen kamre the…jisme se ek kamre ko un logo ne kitchen bana rakha tha…deewaro ki halat kafi jarzar thi aur mujhe thoda-thoda darr bhi lagne laga tha ki kahi deewar bhasak na jaye…par mere samne jo ek problem abhi thi wo ye ki main use ladki kahu ya aurat…same wahi problem jo Vandana Rathi ko dekhkar hui thi…isliye andar jakar maine cigarette jalate hue uska name puchha…

“Madhulika….”charpayi me baithte hue usne jawab diya

“huh,bakwas name…”

Main pahli baar kisi red light area me nahi aaya tha…aur jaisa ki mera past experience tha uske hisaab se ye sab itni gumsum nahi hoti hai…jitni ki ye hone ka dikhawa kar rahi hai…mujhe Arun ne bataya tha ki kaise jab wo randi chodne gaya tha…toh randi ne uske wallet se pura paisa chheen liya tha….uske hisaab se ya toh ye lawdi hoshiyari chod rahi hai ya phhir abhi-abhi dhandhe me aayi hai…par sabse jyada jis baat ne mujhe pareshan kiya wo ye ki ye us thele wale ki biwi bilkul nahi lagti…BC kaha wo kariya,takla 60 saal ka dikhne wala gandul aur kaha ye 28-29 saal ki rapchik maal…upar se kitni chikni hai ye aur taiyar toh aisi hui hai jaise ki miss world contest me participate karne wali ho…

Main wahi bistar se thodi door me baitha aur cigarette fookte hue Madhulika ko dekhta raha…wo nihayat hee gori..chikni thi aur koyi solid perfume laga rakhi thi…kamar ke upar usne sirf blouse pehan daal rakha tha , jo ki bahut kasa hua tha aur kamar ke neeche ek salwar…baaki pura portion khali tha…jisase mujhe shaq hua ki isne underwear pahni hogi ya nahi….

“chod na be…”maine khud se kaha…

“pagal hai kya…aise kaise chod du…”

“dekh lawda ,chodna hai toh chod nahi toh nikal idhar se…”

“ok”

Khud ke andar josh bharkar main chair se utha aur bistar me uske side me baith kar uska name ek baar phhir puchha….

“Madhulika…”

“wo takla tumhara husband hai ?”

“nahi pitaji hai wo mere…”

“pitaji…? BC dalla…ek baar ka kitna leti ho”

“500 ”

“har baar paise mil jate hai ? mera matlab yadi koyi tumhari leke tumhe na de…toh kya ukhad loge tum uska….”

“pitaji pahle paise lete hai aur phhir kisi ko yaha late hai…adhiktar unke dost hee yaha aate hai,jinse unhone udhari li hoti hai….”

Maine apne hath se pahle uski gori chikni kamar kamar sahlayi aur phhir apna hath uske salwar ke andar daal diya….

“acha ye bata…”uski salwar ke andar hath daalkar uski jaangh ko masalte hue maine kaha “tu raat ko booking me bhi jati hai kya…booking matlab…raat bhar tu kisi ke yaha rahi ho…”

“nahi…”

“booking me chalegi…”

“mere pitaji se puchho…”

“is sabki shuruat kaise hui….matlab first time tune …kaise….kaha….tu samajh rahi hai….”uski salwar kholkar utarte hue maine puchha aur jaisa ki mera shaq tha usne underwear nahi pahni thi….salwar utarne ke baad maine uski blouse bhi utar di…. 

“sach-sach batana …police me hoon main…yadi jhooth bola toh jail me daal dunga…”

“mujhe ab koyi fark nahi padta ki…kaun kaha dal raha hai…aur aapne pahli dafa ka puchha hai toh bata deti hoon….wo raat ka samay tha jab mere pitaji apne dosto ke sath ghar me jua khel rahe the…wo aksar aisa karte the…lekin us din jab unke paas paise khatm ho gaye toh unhone udhari me kuch paise apne dosto se liye….aur wo udhari ke paise bhi jue me haar gaye…jiske baad unhone mujhe daav par rakh diya….us samay main andar khana bana rahi thi…meri toh rooh kanp gayi thi ye sunkar….maine suna ki kaise mere pitaji apne dosto ke beech meri boli laga rahe the…kisi ne pach sau kaha toh kisi ne ek hazar aur phhir ant me do hazar me mere pitaji ne mujhe ek raat ke liye apne dosto ke hawale kar diya…..” 

“ye le…”Madhulika ke hath me condom dete hue main bola….

Madhulika ne bina samay gawaye mere hath se condom ka packet liya aur muh se condom ke packet ko fad kar condom mere lund ko pahna diya….jiske baad maine use upar uthaya aur uski choochiyo ko dabane laga….main jab tak uske doodh dabata raha wo bina kisi harqat ke waisi ki waisi jis postion me thi, wahi jami rahi….mano koyi laash ho, BC koyi effect tak nahi…isliye maine kaskar , uski choochiya dabayi…

“chuuuusna bhi hai…? uska charge alag se dena padega….”

“chusna….?”

“maine pucha ki aapka lund chusna hai ya nahi….lund chusne ka 200  alag se dena padega…aur mujhe dena padega….”

“tera baap mujhse…do hazar lekar baitha hai aur tu alag se do sau legi….abey jitney paise maine tere baap ko diye hai…utne me main tujhe char din aakar chodunga….aur tujhe chusaunga bhi….chal baith neeche aur choos…”

“pure Ganga-Jamuna me lund choosne ka alag charge lagta hai….aap kahi bhi puchh lo….”

“mere paas ab itna hee kaam bacha hai ki main pure Ganga-Jamuna me lund chuswane ka rate puchhu…”Maine uska jabda kaskar pakda aur dabate hue bola…“pure Ganga-jamuna me koyi kisi raand ko panch sau ke badle do hazar nahi deta hai….isliye chup-chap neeche jhuk aur choosna shuru kar…warna pel-pel ke muh aur gand aise kar dunga ki dono me se kaun kya hai… pahchan nahi payegi aur ye sochne ki bhool bilkul mat karna ki maine tujhse tere past ke bare me puchha toh mujhe tujhse koyi humdardi hogi…mujhe na toh kisi ke humdardi ki zaroorat hai aur na hee main kisi ko humdardi dikhata hoon…kyunki mujhe maloom hai ki is-se kuch nahi hota…aur na hee kuch badalta hai…isliye is bhool me bilkul mat rahna ki mujhe tujhpar koyi daya aa rahi hai…isliye neeche jhuk aur thook laga kar chatna shuru kar… chal baith…neeche…”

Vivash hokar Madhulika neeche baithi aur mere lund ko ek baar me hee gapp kar gayi….jiske baad usne mere lund ko choosne ka jo silsila chalu kiya wo bahut der tak chalta raha…wo jab mere lund ko chooste-chooste thak jati toh mere lund ko beech-beech me bahar nikal deti aur hath se lund ki chamdi aage peechhe karke saans lene lagti thi….

“thook kar chat…nahi aisa mat kar…”

Maine Madhulika ke sar ko peeche se pakda aur uske baal kheenchkar apna lund uske honth aur gaal par ragadne laga….aur aisa karte-karte mere lund ne uske gaal me hee paani chhod diya….

“jaa, apna muh dhokar aa aur ek glass paani mere liye bhi lekar aa aur nangi hee rahna…warna tere baap ko arthi par lita dunga…bhoolna mat ki main ek police officer hoon….Sali randi…ab ja na…mujhe ghoor ke kyun dekh rahi hai….tujhe pata bhi nahi hoga ki main kitna frustrated hoon…mera vash chale toh prithvi se tumhari jaat hee mita doon….”

Paanch minute tak wo room se attached jhat barabar bathroom me apna chehra saaf karte rahi aur phhir bathroom se nikal kar mere liye paani lene chali gayi…Waise toh wo shuru-shuru me zinda laash thi lekin jab se maine use gaali dena shuru kiya tha uski aankh nam hone lagi thi….shayad use mere shabd kaante ki bhati chubh rahe the…wo nangi hee apni gand matkate hue pani lene gayi aur jaise hee wo matke se paani nikalne ke liye jhuki uski gand khulkar mere samne aayi jiske karan mujhse raha nahi gaya aur maine daud kar use peeche se pakad liya….

“paani rahne de….”uski choot me ungali dalte hue maine kaha “chal ek baar phhir se choos kar khada kar….”

“ab mujhse nahi hoga…mujhe ab ghin aa rahi hai…”

“chal phhir nikal mere do hazar rupaye…”uske pond me ek thappad marte hue maine kaha… “mere paise nikal ya phhir mera pakad ke muh me le…warna….maar-maar ke laal kar dunga…”

Maine back to back do-teen thaqppad uski gori pond me jad diye…jisase wo sisakne lagi.pahle toh mujhe laga ki uski siskiya wo wali siskiya hai lekin baad me pata chala ki wo toh rone wali siskiya thi aur tabhich mujhe ladkiyo ke bare me ek chiz maloom chali ki ladkiya maar nahi sah sakti….wo bahut nazuk hoti hai…humare tattoo ki tarah aur unhe sambhal kar rakhna padta hai….warna unki halat Madhulika jaisi ho sakti hai…

Madhulika aur maar sahan nahi kar saki aur paani ka glass gusse se neeche palat kar wapas meri taraf palti aur neeche baithkar gusse me jaldi-jaldi mera lund choosne lagi….itni tezi se ki paanch minute pahle salami de chukka mera lund phhir se salami dene ke liye taiyar hone laga…Madhulika jitni tez gati ke sath mere lund ko choos rahi thi…main bhi utni tezi ke sath uski choot me apni ungali andar-bahar kar raha tha….humari gati badhti gayi aur hum dono siskiya lene lage….mera lund chuste waqt ek do baar Madhulika ne apne daant bhi gada diye…lekin mere andar abhi itna josh tha ki mujhe koyi fark hee nahi pad raha tha….maine Madhulika ko roka aur use wahi matke ke paas zameen par lita kar uske upar chadh gaya….lekin maine apna lund uski choot me turant nahi dala…main bahut der tak apne lund ko uske choot ke muhane par rakhkar ragadta raha…beech-beech me ek-do baar main apne lund ka thoda sa hissa uski choot me dal deta lekin phhir turant nikal leta aur wapas uski choot ke muhane par ragadne lagta….Madhulika zameen me pade-pade ab angadayi lene lagi thi aur meri aankho me dekh kar mujhe ishara kar rahi thi ki main uski bur faad du…lekin maine aisa nahi kiya aur uske doodh dabate hue usase puchha….

“tum us raand ko janti ho kya….jiski maut pichhale hafte hue thi aur jise Daddu ne mara tha”

Mere is sawal par Madhulika buri tarah chauk gayi aur mujhe ektak niharne lagi….uski vaasana ki sari angdayi mano mere ek prashn se samapt ho gayi thi…wo ab wapas zinda laash ban gayi thi…aur kisi zinda laash ki bhati mujhe ghoore ja rahi thi….

“aise kya dekh rahi hai…”Mahulika ke dono doodh dabate hue maine puchha 

“uska name Kaamini tha… aap usko jante the…”

“ek number ki randi thi Sali…ek bechare sharif launde ko apne changul me fasa kar jaan se marwa diya bechare ko….maine news paper me padha tha ki use Daddu ke aadmiyo ne mara tha….kya ye sach hai…”uske muh me apni ungaliya dalte hue main bola aur Madhulika ko ishara kiya ki meri hath ki ungaliyo ko thik wo waise hee choose jaise mere lund ko choos rahi thi…. 

Maine Madhulika ke upar chadhe-chadhe hee apni pant utar kar neeche khiska di aur shirt utar kar wahi bagal me fek diya…ab main aur Madhulika ek-dusare ke jism ke direct contact me the aur mera jism is samay vasana ki aag me dhadhak raha tha….Madhulika bhale hee ek veshya thi par meri harqate use vaasna ke sagar me dubo rahi thi…jise main uske kanpan hote jism se mahsoos kar sakta tha….maine apna lund wapas uski chut ke upar rakha aur Madhulika ke pure nange badan ko apne sharir se dabane laga jiske karan uske sharir me phhir se sihran uthi aur wo lambi-lambi saanse lene lagi….maine apna ek hath neeche lejakar uski choot ko apni ungaliyo se phailaya aur apna lund chhed me rakhkar puri taqat ke sath dhakka mara….jisase ek bahut he manoranjak aawaz pure vatavaran me gunj uthi….

“Daddu hai kaun….? Aur kya role hai uska Ganga-Jamuna me…”apna lund nikal kar uski choot ke muhane se sparsh karate hue maine Madhulika se puchha aur wapas jor se dhakka mara…

“Dadduuuu…yaha ka sher hai…adhiktar aurato ki jismfaroshi me uska bhi hath rahta hai aur har din jo aurat jitna kamati hai usme se 20 % wo khud leta hai….”

“tum log use paise kyun dete ho…matlab ki gand tum marwao aur gulaab jamun wo khaye….aisa kyun…”

“iske badle me wo hume police se protect karta hai…”

“achchha…”uski choot me apne dhakko ki raftaar tez karte hue main bola “aur jo log use apni kamayi ka 20 % nahi dete unke sath wo kya karta hai….”

“Itwari thane ka daroga uske relation me kuch lagta hai…isliye jo log use paisa nahi dete wo daroga uske ghar me chhapa mar deta hai aur dus guna jyada vasool karta hai….isliye sabhi Daddu ko uska hissa pyar se de dete hai….”

“Daddu…. dikhne me….. mere se….. jyada smart hai kya…”Madhulika ki choot me lagatar apna lund dalte hue hee maine puchha….

“nahi….”

“usne tujhe kabhi choda hai…”

“ye aap kyun puchh rahe hai…”

“tu jawab dena…”

“Daddu ne mujhe bahut baar choda hai…uska beta bhi aksar aakar apni aag bhuja jata hai…”

“Kaamini ke bare me thoda aur bata….matlab ki uske sath-sath kya-kya kiya Daddu ne….”

Maine apna lund Madhulika ki choot se nikala aur use wahi zameen par ulta letne ke liye kaha….lekin wo boli ki use zameen me dukh raha hai….isliye hum dono waha zameen se uthkar dusare room me rakhi charpayi par gaye….Madhulika ulti late gayi aur apni tango ko bina mere bole hee faila di…yaha tak ki usne apne dono hatho se apni pond ko failaya aur apni gand me lund dalne ka mujhe khula nyota diya….

“that’s the spirit ,ye hoti hai asli randi…jo bina bole sab samajh jaye…Vandana Rathi ko bhi ek din aise hee chodunga…uski toh main gand faad dalunga….bas kuch din wo aur aish kar le….”

Madhulika ki is harqat ko dekhkar main muskuraya aur kood kar uske upar ja baitha….wo ab bhi apne hath se apne gand ko failaye hue thi….maine pahle uski gand ko ungali se sahlaya aur phhir apni ungali uski gand me daal di…jisase wo thodi jhijhak uthi….

“lund dalne se pahle thoda thook dena…dard kam hota hai….”

“oil nahi hai kya…”Madhulika ki gand me apni ungali andar-bahar karte hue maine puchha….

“hai na…waha dusare room me rakha hai…”

“toh ja.. jakar lekar aa…warna aise hee ghusa dunga”

Madhulika wapas seedhi hui aur bistar se uthkar dusare room se oil lene jaane lagi lekin tabhi maine uske pichhwade me jhapad mara…wo bina kuch bole dusare room me gayi aur tel ka botal mere hath me dekar…wapas charpayi par ulta let gayi..maine pahle tel uski kamar par giraya aur masalte hue tel uski gand tak le gaya….

“tune Kaamini ke bare me jyada nahi bataya….”apna lund Madhulika ki gand se connect karte hue main bola….

“meri saheli thiiiiiiiiiiiiiii….aaaaiiiiiss”

“teri saheli…”chaukte hue maine apna lund Madhulika ki gand ke andar hee rakha…. “kaisi saheli thi…achchhi wali ? ”

“haan…”

“wo bhi tere type full raand thi kya….”

“aap zinda logo ko izzat nahi dete…kam se kam mare logo ko toh do…aur koyi bhi ladki apni marzi se randi nahi banti…ya toh wo mazboori me banti hai ya phhir gharwalo ke dabav me aakar use randi banna padta hai…aapko kya pata ki mazboori kise kahte hai…aap bade ghar me paida hue…achchhe school me padhe…phhir college karke naukri ki ya phhir naukri nahi bhi ki toh bhi aapko khilane ke liye aapke maa-baap hai…unki beshumir daulat hai….lekin humare paas ye sab nahi hai….hum apna jism bechkar apna aur apne pariwar ka gujara chalate hai….kabhi bhookhe rahe ho ? sari samajhdari gand me ghus jati hai ki kya sahi hai aur kya galat…”

“ bitch please…Aradhna ke case me main teen din thane me bhookha band tha…. anyway toh iska matlab teri dost bhi full raand thi…teri tarah”apna lund Madhulika ki gand se nikal kar maine kaha aur phhir jor lagakar wapas uski gand me dal diya….jiske baad Madhulika ki gand marne ka maine jo silsila chalu kiya wo bahut der tak chala…

“Daddu ke bete ne use veshya banaya tha….”jab maine final stroke uski gand me markar us-se chipak kar let gaya toh wo boli “wo Kaamini ko apni rakhail bana kar rakhna chahta tha…lekin uske hee ek dost ko Kaamini se mohabbat ho gayi aur wo Kaamini ko lekar yaha se bhag gaya….”

“wo bhagne me kamyab ho gaya tha…? Phhir Daddu ne use kaise dhoondha…”

“maine bataya tha ki wo kaha chhipi hai….”

“wooow…kahani me twist…lekin kyun”uthkar khada hote hue maine puchha aur apna lund uske honth se touch kara diya….jisase wo baukhlayi aur gussa bhi hui…..lekin kuch boli nahi….

“bata na…tune apni saheli ko kyun faswaya….jabki wo yaha se nikal chuki thi….”ek baar aur apna lund uske muh se touch karake maine puchha aur is baar wo pahle se jyada baukhla gayi….par pahle ki tarah abki baar bhi wo kuch nahi boli….bas apna muh sikod kar dusari taraf kar liya

“Daddu aur uske gunde mujhe jaan se marne ki dhamki de rahe the….pitaji ko toh unhone bahut mara bhi…”

“kabhi apne baap se badla lene ka khayal tere mann me nahi aaya ya phhir bhagwan se ”pant upar chadhate hue maine Madhulika ki taraf dekha aur apne pant ki jeb se hazar ka ek patta nikal kar uski taraf fek diya….

“main unhe ab apna pita nahi manti aur bhagwan se kaisi shikayat….bhagwan ne mujhe veshya banne ke liye nahi kaha….”uthkar baithte hue wo meri taraf dekh kar boli…

“par bhagwan ne tujhe is ilaake me paida toh kiya….?”

“par mujhe ab bhi bhagwan par bharosa hai…kam se kam mere sath wo toh nahi hua jo Kaamini ke sath hua…main zinda hoon…mere pita bhi zinda hai aur hum dono ko do waqt ka khana mil raha hai…isase jyada sochane ki meri koyi khwaish nahi hai….”

“tu zinda hai kyunki tujhe abhi tak waisa aashiq nahi mila jaisa ki Kaamini ko mila tha…aur kabhi mile bhi toh uske sath mat bhagna aur bhagwan par bharosa karna chhod de….kyunki ant me , bhagwan koyi madad nahi karne wala…infact mujhe kabhi-kabhi toh aisa lagta hai ki bhagwan hai hee nahi”pant ki jeb me hath daal kar maine ek aur hazar ka note nikala aur charpayi par rakhkar Madhulika ke doodh dabate hue bola “kal se full taiyar hokar rahna…main phhir aaunga…have a sexy day….”
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Thodi Si himmat...thodi Si chalaki aur thoda sa jhooth... Aur tum wo paa loge jiski tumne kabhi kalpana tak nahi ki thi…par main yaha kyun aaya tha ? aur ye sab kyun kar raha tha..? toh jawab hai Gun… is duniya me bahut mahan aviskar aur aviskarak hue lekin personally mera aisa manna hai ki Gun un sabme sabse mahan hai…bilkul meri tarah ! bole toh koyi dikhawa nahi, koyi bhed-bhav nahi…pelna hai toh pelna hai, phhir chahe samne wala peon ho ya prime minister..wo utna zakhm prime minister ko bhi degi jitna ki peon ko…bole toh No Discrimination ! aur Gun ka yahi attitude apun ko bahut pasand aaya aur apun idhar aaya.

Madhulika ke ghar se nikal kar main wapas sadak par chalne laga…Madhulika se vida lete waqt maine us-se Daddu ke bare me aur bhi bahut kuch jaan li thi…jaise ki Daddu ka ghar kaha hai…uska adda kaha hai….wo mujhe yaha kab milega….wagerah-wagerah…jiske anusar Daddu raat me Ganga-Jamuna ki sabse badi randi se milne aata hai….jiska khud ka ek chakla hai aur uske under me 20-22 randiya kaam karti hai….Madhulika ne mujhe bataya ki log use Ajmeri bai kahte the…kyun kahte the…ye use nahi maloom tha….Ajmeri bai Ganga-Jamuna ki sabse badi randi hone ke sath-sath sabse badi dalal bhi thi…aur sirf kuch khas logo ke sath bistar garam karti thi…jinme se ek Daddu bhi tha….

Maine ghadi me time dekha….abhi dopahar ke ek baj rahe the aur Daddu se milne ke liye mujhe raat tak ka intezaar karna tha isliye maine wahi rahkar Daddu aur Ajmeri bai ke bare me kuch aur puchh-tachh ki….aur main jis-se bhi un dono ke bare me puchhta wo mujhe ghoor kar dekhne lagte…adhiktar logo ne toh mere muh pe mana kar diya ki na toh wo Ajmeri bai ko jaante hai aur na hee Daddu ko….lekin waha kuch aise bhi the…jinhone paiso ki lalach me mujhe bahut kuch un dono ke bare me bata diya tha…jiske according….Ajmeri bai 22 saal ki thi jab uska premi use yaha bechne aaya tha….us samay wo pregnant thi…tab Daddu ki dhak utni nahi thi , wo bas Ganga-Jamuna ka mamooli gunda tha…jo randiyo ko chodne ke jugad me Itwari me ghoomte rahta tha aur wahi ek roj Daddu ne Ajmeri Bai ko dekha….jiske baad kya hua iski kahani mujhe nahi maloom….par Daddu aur Ajmeri bai ke milaap ne jaha Daddu ko is Ganga-Jamuna ka maalik bana diya tha wahi Ajmeri bai ko sabse badi raand hone ka khitab mil gaya tha….kuch log toh ye bhi kahte hai ki Ajmeri bai ke aashiqo me kayi political leader bhi hai ,jinki vazah se Daddu upar chadhta gaya….isliye maine Daddu se milne se pahle Ajmeri se milne 
ka socha lekin Jis tarah Daddu raat ko hee Ganga-Jamuna me aata hai…usi tarah Ajmeri bai ka kotha bhi raat me hee khulta tha….isliye sham ko 7 baje tak main pure Itwari me ghoomte hue mahol tadta raha aur phhir sham hote hee Ajmeri bai ke kothe ki taraf chal diya….
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Ajmeri bai ke kothe ka haal kafi acha tha…waha saaf-safai thi aur pure kothe ko Ajmeri ne aise saja kar rakha tha jaise ki waha koyi function hone wala ho….kothe me main gate se andar jaane ke baad ek bada sa hall tha jaha ek bahut bada sofa rakha hua tha jis par shayad Ajmeri bai baithkar T.V. dekh rahi thi….main Kothe ke main gate se andar gaya aur mujhe dekhte hee Ajmeri ne apni chakliyo ko aawaz mari….jiske baad wo sab waha turant aakar mere samne khadi hokar mujhe dekhne lagi…

“aage ki jo do hai unke 600  …beech me jo paanch hai unke 1000  aur peechhe wali teeno ke 1500 . Richa kaha rah gayi re…wo manager abhi tak uske sath busy hai kya….sala lagta hai bank ka pura paisa aaj uda ke hee manega….ek ghante se meri bachchi ko band karke rakha hua hai….jab wapas aaye toh double charge lena…bachchiya shikayat bhi karti hai ki sala , wo Manager jor-jor se dabata hai….”

Maine Ajmeri bai ko dekha…pahle toh mujhe yakin hee nahi hua ki yahi Ajmeri Bai hai…maine toh soch rakha tha ki ye 40-45 saal ki koyi aurat hogi…jiska pet, gand ki tarah bahar nikla hoga aur wo muh me paan daba ke randiyo ke maafiq dalali karti hogi lekin jab maine use dekha toh mujhe yakin nahi hua….uski umra Vandana Rathi ke barabar thi…ya phhir usase teen-char saal jyada….par saali ne kya maintain karke rakha tha khud ko…isne toh Madhulika…Vandana Rathi yaha tak ki khoobsurti ke mamle me Nisha ko bhi peeche chhod diya tha….kya perfect figure tha Ajmeri ka…upar se baby face…matlab ki shakl dekh kar lag hee nahi raha tha ki wo ek veshya hai….isiliye sala Daddu itna upar pahuch gaya….
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“kamal hai…maine toh socha tha ki Ajmeri Bai….paan ki peek marte hue gand jaisi shakl wali 50 saal ki budhiya hogi….lekin ye toh kayamat nikli bidu….”Ajmeri bai ko upar se neeche tak dekh kar maine socha….aur sirf socha hee kyunki lund ko toh main Madhulika ke yaha chhod aaya tha…isliye mere paas siway sochne ke kuch nahi tha….

“kya re….kaun si pasand aayi….”mujhe shant khada dekh wo boli. uski aawaz sunkar mujhe bahut bada jhatka laga…kyunki jaha ek taraf wo tanatan rapchik maal thi, wahi uski aawaz bahut kharab thi….Arun ki aawaz se bhi kharab.“Sali , muh me lawda le-le ke aawaz kaisi ho gayi hai iski….”

“kisko chodega re….”Ajmeri ne phhir apna muh fada 

Maine ek baar waha mauzood sabhi randiyo ko dekha aur phhir Ajmeri bai ki taraf apna rookh karke bola“tujhe…rate bata…”

“salaaaa…kutta…mujhe chodega…tere jaise na jaane kitne laundo ka main apne andar le leti hoon…aur tu mujhe chodega….”

“kya baat hai Ajmeri bai….suna hai yaha ki sabse badi randi hai tu…”Use uksate hue maine kaha

“isko bharo re aur itna marna ki Itwari me kabhi wapas na aaye….”

Ajmeri Bai ne jor se aawaz mari….jiske baad teen-char mustande daudkar bahar se andar aaye aur mujhe utha kar bahar le jaane lage…..

“Ajmeri….teri aawaz bahut kharab hai…Sali randi, jab chillati hai toh aisa lagta hai jaise ki gadhe ki gand me danda daal diya gaya ho…thoda kam lauda choosa kar…ya phhir mera lawda choos le….Sali randi…burchatti…”

Main itna hee bol paya tha ki un logo ne mujhe andar se lakar bahar patak diya…pahle toh unhone mujhe bahar patka aur phhir mera collar pakad kar mujhe kheechte hue kahi le jane lage…..

“Daddu ke paas le ja rahe ho na…actually main usi se milne aaya tha…Ajmeri toh sirf ek jariya tha….chalo Daddu ke paas…”maine kaha

Aur mere aisa kahne ke baad jisne mera collar pakad rakha tha usne mera collar chhod diya aur mujhse puchha ki main Daddu ko kaise janta hoon

“Daddu se bahut badi deal karni hai….par koyi address nahi bata raha tha Daddu ka…isliye ye sab karna pada…”apna collar aur shirt sahi karte hue maine kaha aur goggle pahan kar ek cigarette left side me dabaya….

“lighter hai kya….”cigarette ko left side se right side me shift karte hue maine puchha….jiske jawab me unme se ek ne machis nikali aur ek teeli jalakar cigarette ke paas le aaya….

“sorry…”machis ki teeli ko fook markar bujhate hue maine kaha “Shri Arman, sirf lighter se cigarette jalata hai…ego problem…anyway, chalo Daddu ke paas”

Iske baad unme se kisi ne mujhe hath tak nahi lagaya par wo mujhe gher kar chal rahe the…taaki main bhag na jaun….thodi der tak paidal chalne ke baad main Daddu ke adde me pahuch gaya….

“kya hua be…tum log yaha…Ajmeri ne bheja kya….”apne aadmiyo ko waha apne adde par dekhkar Daddu ne unse puchha…jispar ek apne hath bandhkar thoda jhukte hue bola…

“bhai…ye ladka…Ajmeri behan ke sath lafda kar raha tha aur unhi ke kahne par main isko yaha laya hoon…”

“isne Ajmeri ke sath lafda kiya aur tum log ise marne ke bajay mere paas lekar aaye ho…”

“i can explain it…Daddu bhai….”apna hath upar uthakar beech me main bola… “actually main yaha aapke liye hee aaya tha matlab aapse milne aaya tha”

“mil liya na, ab chal mar…”bolte hue Daddu ne apne pichhwade me hath dala aur desi katta nikal kar mere upar taan diya….

“dus hazar per piece dunga is type ke katte ke….”

“ dus hazaaaaar….”

Dus hazar ek desi katte ka rate sunkar Daddu ke hosh udd gaye…aur uske hosh aur udate hue maine boli aur badha di….

“acha… 15000 per piece….ab thik…”

“15000  har desi katte ke liye…chal aaja….aaja, baith-baith”

Daddu ne gun neeche ki aur mujhe wahi ek chair par baithne ka aamantran diya….maine ek cigarette apne muh me fasaya aur apne jeb se lighter nikal kar cigarette jalate hue wahi Daddu ke samne baith gaya…

“jab tere paas lighter tha toh humse kyun mang raha tha….”jo char mustando mujhe utha kar yaha laye the…unme se ek ne jawab diya….mera matlab puchha…

“wo toh main tum logo ki aukat check kar raha tha…anyway..”saamne palat kar Daddu se maine kaha “Daddu bhai…kitne Desi Katte ka intezaam kar sakte ho…”

“kitne chahiye tumhe….”

“yahi koyi chalis katte….”

“chalis…”

“hmmm…no. make it hundred. Sau katte. Sunne me bhi achchha lagta hai aur calculation me bhi ”

“payment kab doge….”

“delivery do baar me do alag-alag jagah par hogi…50-50 ke set me. vehicle humara hoga, bas tum time aur jagah mujhe bata dena ,har delivery ke pahle payment mil jayega..”

“karoge kya itne katte ka…”

“everyone needs a mask, you have yours…I have mine”

“kyaaaaaa….”

“ab main tumse puchhu ki tum itne katte laoge kaha se toh kya tum mujhe bata doge….”

“nahi…”

“exactly, bas main bhi nahi bata sakta….”muskurate hue maine kaha….jiske baad Daddu bhi muskura utha…

Maine Daddu ke yaha se sample ke taur par 15000 dekar ek katta liya aur salam-dua karke waha se bahar nikla….mere peeche-peeche Daddu ke aadmi bhi nikle par thodi door tak aane ke baad wo laut kar wapas chale gaye….meri is samay fat toh bahut rahi thi ki kahi Daddu ya uske aadmi mujhe peeche se goli na maar de…par kyunki jaisa maine pahle bhi kaha hai ki… Thodi Si himmat...thodi Si chalaki aur thoda sa jhooth... Aur tum wo paa loge jiski tumne kabhi kalpana tak nahi ki thi, upar se is samay main NH-6 ke Thug ke kirdar me tha…isliye main darne ke bawzood peeche palta aur Thug ke kirdar se pura nyay karte hue Daddu ke aadmiyo ki taraf cigarette peekar role me dhua chhodne laga….

“dhua chhodna band kar be…warna kahi in logo ki khisak gayi toh tujhe hee dhue me na tabdil kar de….kaise-kaise kaam kar raha hoon main…kya choda Madhulika ko aur kaise Daddu ko chodu banaya….use kya maloom ki mujhe sirf ek desi katta chahiye tha….taki main apne sapno ko saakar kar saku….abhi tak mera pair kaanp raha hai…sala Daddu ne jaan se nahi mara wahi bahut hai…yaha se jakar do peg marunga aur chup chap so jaunga…yadi neend aayi toh…pura rom-rom dark e mare kaanp raha hai…thank you bhagwan. Aisich sath bane rahna ,last time ke mafiq dhokha mat dena aur phhir dekhna ki kaise main in sabki leta hoon….”
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Ganga-jamuna se main raat ko 11 baje ke karib River View Colony pahucha…aaj din bhar ki bhag-daud ke karan main kafi thak chuka tha aur aalas itna aa raha tha ki mujhe khana khane ka bhi mann nahi kiya…waise normal day me meri energy is time pe top pe hoti hai hai par kyunki ye normal day nahi tha isliye mere sath kuch bhi normal nahi ho raha tha…siway ek chiz ke…ki baki din ki tarah mujhe aaj bhi neend nahi aa rahi thi…main bahut der tak bistar par leta raha…sone ki koshish karta raha…lekin meri laakh koshisho ke bawzood main sone me safal nahi ho paya isliye uthkar baith gaya….aur jaise hee main uthkar baitha mere side me rakha katta mere pair se touch hua….katte ko dekhkar mera matha thanka .maine katta uthaya aur daudkar apne flat ki chhat par gaya….

“yadi koyi mujh par attack karega toh main…pahle yaha chhup kar use goli marunga…aur phhir yaha chhipkar…phhir chhat par let kar chalte hue chhat ke dusare hisse me jaunga aur usi dauran gun ko dobara load karunga…aur peechhe ki taraf mauzood logo ko maar dunga…dichkyooon….lekin yadi hawai hamla hua toh ? idea …main turant kood kar pahle E-5 me jaunga..phhir E-4 me…phhir E-3 me au aise karte-karte colony ke bahar nikal jaunga….let’s make it happen”
Maine katta wahi zameen par rakha aur chhat ke ekdum kinare par khada hokar mere flat ki chhat aur R.Rathi ke flat ki chhat ke beech kitni doori hai iska andaza lagane laga…

“10 feet…nahi actually 8 feet hogi…9 bhi ho sakti hai…ek min.” Vandana Rathi ke flat me torch markar maine kaha “8.5 feet correct… but I think 8.46 would be more correct … done 8.46. ek kaam karta hoon us side se daudkar yaha aaunga aur phhir ek long jump….yess…yahi ek tarika hai hawai hamle se bachne ka…chal Arman…3.0 ”

Main apne flat ki chhat me peechhe gaya aur aankh band karke kuch der tak khud ko utsahit karta raha…phhir maine apni aankh kholi aur gand-fad tez daud kar apne chhat se Vandana Rathi ki chhat ki taraf chhalang maar di…main apne chhat se Vandana Rathi ke chhat par pahuchne hee wala tha, main bas pahuch hee chukka tha lekin sala meri jump kam pad gayi…aur main chhati ke bal seedhe chhat ke kinare se takraya…aur takra kar seedhe neeche gira…

“hey Arun kya chal raha hai…sab log chhat se kood kyu rahe hai, kahi Gautam ke baap ne gunde toh nahi bheje hostel me…”
“nahi be, wo toh shart lagi hai ki jo yaha se neeche koodkar wapas seedhiyo ke raaste se hota hua mujhtak pahle aayega use 1000  ka inaam diya jayega…”
“chal phhir, hazar rupaye lekar rakh…aaj daru peene bar chalenge”apna jeans utar kar Arun ko pakdate hue maine kaha…
“abey ab tu ye race nahi jeet sakta , wo sab bahut pahle kood gaye hai…”
“main gate andar se locked hai aur chabhi mere us jeans me hai…neeche ja aur tab tak gate mat kholna jab tak main gate ke paas pahuch na jaun…”
“wow…great. Par sambhal ke…neeche bahut bada gaddha hai…do toh usme se nikal bhi nahi paye hai…”
“ Deeper I fall, stronger I’ll rise…”itna bolkar main chhat se neeche kood gaya…
Par ye kaise ? main toh yaha hoon hee nahi…ye toh past ki memories hai… kyunki main chhat se neeche kood nahi raha , main neeche gir raha hoon….
Aur jab ye hua…. yani ki jab main seene ke bal chhat se takra kar neeche gira toh mere muh se tarah-tarah ki aawaze nikalne lagi…jisme main kabhi dard se karahta toh kabhi maze lekar hasta…sach batau toh mujhe kafi maza aa raha tha…mujhe meri chhati me jalan mahsoos hui…mujhe aisa laga jaise ki meri chhati chhil gayi ho….aur aisa hua bhi tha kyunki jab maine apne chhati me apna hath lagaya toh mera shirt khoon ki vazah se geela tha aur…aur …. aur jyada geela ho raha tha, par mujhe sabse bada dar jis baat ka tha wo ye ki kahi Vandana Rathi yaha na aa jaye…waise uske pure flat ki light band thi aur mere is karname ke baad bhi uske pure flat ki light band hee thi…jisase maine anuman lagaya ki Vandana Rathi ab bhi so rahi hai aur mere is karname ki use koyi bhanak tak nahi lagi hai …..maine khoon se lagatar bheeg rahi apni chhati ko sahlaya jiske baad mujhe aisa laga jaise mere seene me aag lagi ho..kyunki chhat se seene ke bal takrane ke karan mera seena buri tarah chhil chukka tha aur mujhe kafi jalan type ki feeling aa rahi thi par thodi der baad wo jalan band ho gayi…maine wapas apna seena sahlaya par abki baar mujhe kuch mahsoos hee nahi hua, mujhe aisa laga jaise main apni nahi balki kisi aur ki chhati sahla raha hoon….yani ki meri puri chhati ab sunn pad gayi thi….main thodi der tak wahi pada raha aur phhir kohni ko zameen me tikakar uthne ki koshish ki….lekin main uth nahi paya aur wapas wahi gir gaya aur tab mujhe chhat par thode der pahle ki hui training yaad aayi…jisme main kohni ke bal zameen me ghisat-ghisat kar chhat ke ek hisse se dusare hisse ki taraf gaya tha….
Maine zameen par apni dono kohni tikayi aur ghisat-ghisat kar aage badhne laga….isme mujhe mushqil toh ho rahi thi…par utni jyada bhi nahi….kyunki Vandana Rathi ne pure flat ke charo taraf chhote-chhote ghas lagwa rakhe the…jisase mujhe zameen par ghisatne me thodi sahuliyat mil rahi thi….main aise hee zameen ki mitti khata hua Vandana Rathi ke gate ke neeche se sarak kar bahar aaya aur aise hee zameen ki mitti khate hue ghisat-ghisat kar apne flat ke gate ke neeche se andar aaya…aur apne flat ki boundary ke andar aane ke baad main deewar ke sahare tik kar baitha aur bas wahi baitha raha….kyunki waha tak aate-aate meri puri energy khatm ho chuki thi…mere pura sharir paseene aur khoon se bheeg chukka tha aur ab mujhme itni bhi taqat nahi thi ki main hil bhi paun…mera gala bahut sookh raha tha….mera mann kiya ki Varun ko call kar du…lekin phhir socha ki mere fans kya sochenge…isliye maine Varun ko call nahi kiya…
“paa….ni….ab raat bhar yahi rahna padega….kya main marne wala hoon…”
“pata nahi, mujhe aas-paas koyi yamdut toh nahi dikh raha….”
“waise achi koshish thi…”
“haan…kal phhir karenge….”
“Good Night ,Version 2.0”
“Good Night….3.0”
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Subah main jab utha toh dekha mere shirt ka saamne wala pura hissa khoon ki vazah se laal ho chuka tha aur zameen me ghisatne ki vazah se meri kohni chhil chuki thi par sabse important baat jo is samay thi wo ye ki mujhe bahut jor se pyas lagi thi…meri halat ab is samay aisi thi ki yadi ab mujhe turant pani nahi mila toh main bas mar hee jaunga…
Maine jis deewar ke sahare tik kar kal ki puri raat guzar di thi…usi deewar ko pakad kar main utha aur langdate langdate apne flat ke andar aakar pahle toh pet bhar paani piya aur pani peene ke baad baad bathroom me pani se bhari balti ke paas baithkar apna pura sar us balti me daal diya….

“sala…gand hee fat gayi meri…main kya ban gaya hoon…is-se acha toh BC wo katta apni kanpatti pe rakh kar trigger daba doon…laanat hai aisi zindagi pe….”thodi der baad balti se apna sar bahar nikalkar main bola aur bathroom se bahar aakar farsh par hafte hue let gaya…..
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Kal raat ke karname ki vazah se mera seena bahut jagah se chhil gaya tha aur dard toh tha hee…isliye maine do-teen din room me rest karna hee behtar samjha…par phhir maine socha ki main room me pure din karunga kya…tab mujhe khayal aaya ki ….GATE…..gate ki taiyari karunga….maine khane ka order mara aur colony ke paas hee bani ek clinic me apni marham patti kara kar…kuch medicine lekar wapas apne flat me aaya…..

Mere andar ek khas baat hai ki jab main jo karta hoon tab main use pure mann se karta hoon…uske aalwa mujhe aur kuch nahi soojhta…phhir chahe wo movie dekhna ho ya cigarette peena ya phhir padhayi karna….yadi main kuch bhi karne ek baar baith gaya toh phhir bas usi me ram jata hoon…jiska example ye hai ki maine lord of the ring ke teeno part ek hee din me yani ki ek hee raat me back to back dekhe the…third part dekhte samay toh meri aankh se aansu bhi nikalne laga tha lekin main use complete karke hee utha…yadi maine ye thaan liya ki mujhe mutth marna hai toh phhir main mutth maar kar hee rahunga…phhir chahe koyi aa jaye. Bole toh mera concentration itna bhayankar hai ki main kisi se baat karte hue bhi mutth maar sakta hoon aur yahi haal abhi meri padhayi ka tha….Vandana Rathi ki chhat se takrane ke baad maine apni behtari ke liye ye decision liya tha ki main ab agle kuch din koyi dhamal nahi karunga aur isme main kayi din tak kayam bhi raha…exact kitne din ye toh mujhe yaad nahi…lekin…ek minute…main count karke batata hoon….maine apne room ki deewar ko dekha jaha maine ek kale patthar se deewar par is month ka pura calendar bana rakha tha…aur jo-jo din guzarte ja rahe the us par gola marte ja raha tha….

“teen-do…paanch…paanch-do…saat….total saat din hue hai mujhe Mathematics padhte hue….jisme bas do chapter aur baaki hai…phhir mathematics…khatam….iske baad back to back do baar revise marunga…lawda….nahi toh jo padha hai bhool jaunga…sala itne bade-bade formulae hai ki gand fat jati hai….formulae toh BC phhir bhi yaad ho jaye…lekin formulae ke name…..yaad rakhna jyada mushqil hai….chalo baki bache chapter bhi revise maar leta hoon….” .

Maine laptop me B.S.Grewal ka ebook khola aur padhne me busy ho gaya aur raat ko ek baje tak ek aur chapter saltine ke baad adhmara sa hokar bistar par let gaya….laptop me din bhar apni aankh gadane ke karan meri aankh me jalan ho rahi thi isliye apni aankh band karke main apni aankho ko sahlane laga….

“Arman sir…”

“kaun hai be…”jaise hee mujhe ye aawaz sunayi di maine turant apni aankh kholi aur apne charo taraf dekha…par waha koyi nahi tha….

“lagta hai vaham hai mera…”bolkar maine apni aankh wapas band ki aur phhir se apni aankh sahlane laga ki mujhe ek baar phhir se wo aawaz sunayi di…

“tumhari amma ka 9.8….jo bhi hai saamne aao…warna determinant me pack kar dunga…”

“main idhar hoon sir…”

“abey ye toh reply pe reply aa raha hai…mere flat me mere aalawa aur bhi koyi rahta hai kya…?”

“please sir…idhar aao…hall me meri garden jakad rahi hai…main saans nahi le pa rahi…please sir…help me…”

Ye sunte hee bhay aur aatank ne mujhe apni giraft me le liya…meri himmat nahi ho rahi thi ki main apni jagah se hil saku…lekin phhir bhi main apne bed se utha aur dheere-dheere bedroom se deewar ke sahare hall ki taraf badha….hall ki taraf badhta mera har kadam mujhe kah raha tha ki main aage na jaun…lekin main dheere-dheere deewar ke sahare aage badhte gaya aur ant me deewar ki oot se chhipkar maine hall me jhanka….

Maine dekha ki hall me lage pankhe se ek ladki latki hui thi…uske baal bikhre hue the jisase uska chehra mujhe nahi dikh raha tha. wo apni gardan me rassi fasakar pankhe se latki hui thi aur apne aap ko chhudane ki bahut koshish kar rahi thi….ek taraf jaha wo khud ko chhudane ke liye bahut chhatpata rahi thi…wahi dusare taraf apne naakhoon se apne garden aur chehre ko cheekhte hue noche ja rahi thi….us ladki ki haalat itni kharab thi ki uska peshab tak nikal gaya tha aur main kuch karne ke bajay bas deewar ki oot me khada hokar use dekh raha tha…mujhe samajh hee nahi aaya ki main kya karu…isliye main murti ke saman waha khade rahkar bas us ladki ko dekhe ja raha tha….lekin phhir us ladki ne mujhe dekh liya aur apne hath se apne baal ko hatate hue boli….

“sir..main hoon Aradhna…aaj toh bacha lo…”

“Ara..dh..dhna….”

“haan…sir…aapki rakhail…jisne college me aapke liye jaan de di thi…”

Aradhna ka chehra dekh kar mere andar na jaane kaha se itni himmat aa gayi ki maine apne bedroom se ek chair uthaya aur turant Aradhna ke paas gaya….maine chair neeche rakha aur uspar chadhkar Aradhna ko pakad liya….

Maine Aradhna ko waha se utara aur seedhe bedroom me lakar bistar par lita diya….

“thank you ,sir…”

Jawab me maine kuch nahi bola aur turant bhagkar Aradhna ke liye paani laya…

“le , paani pee le…”

“nahi…ab main thik hoon…”wo boli

Jab main Aradhna ke liye bhagkar paani lene gaya tha tab Aradhna ke baal bikhre hue the aur uske pure chehre par aise nishan the…jaise usne apne aapko noch dala ho…lekin jab main wapas aaya toh uske sharir me ek bhi zakhm nahi tha….upar wo ab aisi lag rahi thi…jaise ki usne kitna bhari make up kiya ho….aur toh aur wo mujhe dekh kar muskura bhi rahi thi…..main wahi khada hokar use dekhta raha , wo bhi mujhe dekh rahi thi….

“tum bhoot ho kya…ya phhir..atma…”

“aapko kya lagta hai…”bistar par uthkar baithte hue wo mujhse puchhi…jiska mere paas koyi jawab nahi tha…balki mere paas toh is samay bahut sawal the…jo main us-se puchhna chahta tha…kayi aise sawal jo uske suicide karne ke baad se hee mere jehan me bas gaye the aur aaj tak mujhe pareshan kar rahe the….lekin maine us-se kuch nahi puchha aur wahi bistar ke paas wali deewar par tik kar neeche baith gaya aur ek cigarette sulgayi….
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Maine bahut galtiya ki hai, jisme mujhe maza bhi bahut aata hai par….par mera aisa manna hai ki Aradhna mere zindagi ki shayad sabse badi galti thi, mera matlab kya zaroorat thi mujhe Aradhna se pyar ke jhoothe vaade karne ki…meri zindagi toh thik-thak chal hee rahi thi….kitna acha hota ki yadi main Aradhna se kabhi mila hee na hota toh…par iski shuruat kaha se hui…8th semester me anchoring ke practice session se ya phhir kahi aur se…yaad aaya wo sala kallu kanghi chor ne mujhse ek baar shart lagaya tha ki yadi mujhme dum hai toh main ek maal pata ke dikhau…bas wahi se maine soch liya tha ki pataunga toh sirf Aradhna ko hee…mere aisa kahne ki do vazah thi…ek toh ye ki Aradhna college me new aayi thi aur bahut easy target thi…dusari vazah ye ki Aradhna ki wo kallu bhi lena chahta tha…isliye maine uske target par hee nishana saadh liya kyunki jab main kisi ki gand marta hoon toh khoon nikal deta hoon…matlab itna bada drama sirf ek shart ki vazah se hua tha…lekin galti meri hee thi…main chahta toh Aradhna ke sath apne rishte ko kabhi aage badhne hee nahi deta…main chahta toh Aradhna kabhi mere itne karib nahi aati…lekin mere andar hee choot ki bhookh sawar thi…uspar se itna ghamand ki maine Aradhna ki itni insult ki…sari galti meri thi…mujhe aisa nahi karna chahiye tha…maine hee Aradhna ko suicide ke liye mazboor kiya…uske baad jo mere sath hua wo toh sirf meri galti ka consequences the…jo maine jhela aur jhel kar nikal bhi aaya….

Main deewar ke sahare tik kar neeche baitha raha aur puri raat wahi baithe-baithe Aradhna ko niharta raha…wo aaj bhi waisi dikhti thi…jaisa ki pahle dikhti thi…waha neeche baithe-baithe main ghanto Aradhna ko ghoorta raha aur isi dauran beech me mujhe neend aa gayi…subah jab meri neend khuli toh Aradhna waha nahi thi….shayad wo chali gayi thi… maine deewar par mere dwara banaye gaye calendar me aaj ki taarikh par gola mara aur taiyar hokar Ganga-Jamuna jaane ke liye nikal gaya…kyunki kal raat ko Daddu ne mujhe call karke ye kaha tha ki main aakar guns dekh loon….

Main apne room se bahar nikla aur darwaja lock karke jaise hee peeche palta mujhe saamne Aradhna khadi dikh gayi…jo is samay kafi gusse me dikh rahi thi....maine aav na dekha taav aur turant peeche mudkar bhag khada hua…

“bhag le beta…atma gusse me lag rahi hai…peeche wali boundary kood ke khisak le…”
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Maine aisa hee kiya aur peeche wali boundary koodkar…waha se khisak liya…ab kyunki mujhe Ganga-jamuna jana tha aur paidal main itni door ja nahi sakta tha…isliye maine ek auto pakda aur ek side me chup-chap baithkar Madhulika ke bare me sochane laga….

Auto me driver ke aalawa is samay main aur ek Buddha tha….auto driver 30-32 saal ka raha hoga…lekin tha BC full tharki….jaha bhi sadak par ladkiyo ko dekhta…phhir chahe wo dusari side me hee kyun na chal rahi ho…auto rok kar un sabse puchhta ki kaha chalogi….yaha chalogi….waha chalogi…..ab bechari ladkiya koyi jawab nahi de rahi thi…isliye uski himmat badhte gayi….ab wo jaha ladkiyo dekhta wahi pel ke horn bajane lagta….auto wale ke baar-baar auto rokne…ladkiyo par chillane aur unhe dekh kar horn bajane ke karan mera concentration bigad raha tha….upar se mere side me baitha budhau jo ab tak shant baitha tha…wo bhi us auto wale ke sath shamil ho gaya aur haste hue bola….

“aahha…dekho toh kaise gand pasar-pasar kar chal rahi hai. mann karta hai dauda-dauda chodu”

Phhir jab ek ladki us budhau ke bagal se pass hui toh wo use ‘janu’ bolkar chillaya…..apne isi chhiltayi ko continue karte hue auto wale ne chup-chap jaa rahi ek ladki ko dekhkar auto roka…aur us-se bola…

“condom nagar chalogi kya…condom nagar….”

Jiske jawab me wo ladki kuch nahi boli…aur bina kuch bole aage badh gayi…jispar mere bagal me baitha budhau auto se apni garden nikal kar chillaya….

“oye janu…chal na…condom nagar…”

Mujhe koyi fark nahi padta ki wo dono kiske sath kya kar rahe the…lekin unki is harqat ke karan main bahut disturb ho raha tha aur jab main jitna disturb hota hoon tab main utna hee gussa hota hoon…upar se frustrated toh main hoon hee…maine auto rukwaya aur auto se utar kar pahle budhau ko kheechkar ek hath diya aur phhir ek laat auto wale ke seedhe jabde me mara….jisase wo dusari taraf palti markar gir gaya…

“Maadharchod…aise auto chalata hai…is-se acha toh titanic wala ship chalaya raha…”

“hath kaise lagaya be…teri bhain cho…”bolkar gusse se wo utha aur ghoom kar mere paas aaya….maine turant katta nikala aur uske sar par taan diya….

“peeche chal be randi ki aulaad, jaha hai wahi khada rah warna gand me goli marunga toh gand band ho jayegi….teri chachi ka pond…bhosdiwale.teri maa ne kutte se chudwaya tha kya jo tujh jaisa kutta paida hua”

Meri gaaliya sunkar autowala mujhe jaan se marna chahta tha par mere hath me gun dekhkar Auto wala jaha tha wahi rook gaya…aur gun apne upar dekh shant hokar sirf gun ko dekhne laga…waha aas-paas aur bhi log the aur sabki nazar mujhpar tiki hui thi….maine auto wale ko waha se chup-chap khisakne ke liye kaha, actually kaha nahi bas katta ghumakar ekdum role me waha se jaane ka ishara kiya aur uske jaane ke baad phhir ek dusare auto me baithkar waha se Ganga-jamuna ke liye ravana ho gaya….sale ye mujhe chodna sikhayenge.
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Mujhe pata nahi ki Ganga-jamuna aate hee mujhe kya ho jata hai…kyun main is tarah ki gundo wali harqate karne lagta hoon…mana ki main acting karne me mahir hoon lekin itni real acting…? wo bhi ek gunde ki…? mujhe ye toh maloom rahta hai ki main kya kar raha hoon lekin mujhe yaha Ganga-jamuna me aisa lagta hai ki jaise mere sharir me main nahi balki koyi aur hai….jaise kisi ne meri body se aatma exchange kar di ho….phhir…main…main nahi rahta…mera mujhpar koyi control nahi rahta…sabkuch mujhe aisa lagta hai jaise ki scripted ho…jaise ki ye sab mujhe pahle se pata hai ki kya hone wala hai…jaise ki ye sab pahle bhi ho chuka hai…

“ To me…present seems like past and past like future….confused ? well me too”cigarette jalate hue maine khud se bola “but I’m enjoying it now”

Aaj main direct Madhulika ke baap ke paas gaya aur mujhe dekhte hee wo ummid ke viparit khush hua…jisase main soch me pad gaya ki kya ye sach me khush hai ya meri tarah acting kar raha hai….

“kyun be dalle…itna muskura kyun raha hai….”

“kya babu…maine toh socha tha ki aap us din ke paisa nahi doge…lekin aapne toh 2000  diye the….”

“kyun be budhau…tune toh kaha tha ki wo teri biwi hai…lekin jab maine aas-paas logo se pucha toh unhone kaha ki Madhulika teri biwi nahi balki teri beti hai…. apni beti ki dalali karta hai tu…bhadwe”

“roji-roti ka sawal hai…sahib…Daddu is ilaake me kisi ko iske aalawa koyi aur dhandha karne hee nahi deta….ye chay ka thela toh customer se baat-chit karne vaste hai…kya kahte hai angrezi me ise….aaffice…ye mera aaffice hai…”

“Madhulika hai kya…andar…”

“haan malik…jayiye…”

“mujhse pahle aaj koyi aaya toh nahi tha…”

“itni subah-subah kaun aayega…aap aaj ke pahle customer ho….”

“aaj paise nahi dunga…. Samjha…isliye apni beti ko paise ke liye…pareshan mat karna….” 
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Maine aaj bhi wahi raasta liya ,jis raaste se wo us din mujhe le gaya tha…jo seedhe Madhulika ke ghar ke peeche milta tha…andar aane ke baad main seedhe us room me gaya jaha charpayi rakhi hui thi….main charpayi me baitha aur Madhulika bhi mere bagal me baithi….

“itne din kaha the aap…”mere hath ko sahlate hue Madhulika puchhi….

“aurat chahe randi hee kyun na ho...be-matlab ke sawal puchh kar hee rahegi…tujhe kya zaroorat hai ye sawal puchhne ki……kya tu yaha ki ekmatra randi hai…jo main sirf tere paas hee aaunga….apne kaam se kaam rakh…aur chal thook ke choos…tu ek rakhail hai aur rakhail hee rah…wo chutiye aur hote honge jo apna dimag lund me lekar ghoomte hai aur tum jaisi chhinaro ki meethi-meethi baato me aakar apna sab kuch luta dete hai…main wo hoon jo tum logo ka sab kuch loot dunga…isliye mujhe apni hoshiyari mat dikha…sirf choot dikha…”

Meri jali-kati baat sunkar Madhulika apna daant peeskar rah gayi…wo mujhe shayad us waqt jaan se marna chah rahi hogi…ye andaza maine laga liya kyunki aksar mere aas-paas rahne wale log yahi chahte hai…Madhulika ne mere katte ki taraf bhi ek nazar mari…jo maine uski bistar par rakh diya tha…aur jab wo meri jali – kati sunkar katte ki taraf dekhne lagi toh thodi der ke liye main dar gaya…

“dar mat…katta khali hai…sale fattu…”
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Main bistar par hee neeche pair latka kar baitha raha…Madhulika neeche zameen par baithi aur meri pant utarne lagi…pahle usne belt nikala aur phhir mere pant ki button kholkar mere pant ko thoda neeche khiska di….maine uske sar ko peeche se pakda aur uske face ko apne underwear ke upar ragadne laga….shuru me toh usne koyi virodh nahi kiya lekin phhir thodi der ke baad wo apna chehra waha se hatane ki koshish karne lagi…lekin maine uska sar apne dono hatho se daboch rakha tha…isliye wo chhoot pane me naqam rahi….wo mujhe maar bhi rahi thi…lekin main uska sar pakad kar uska chehra apni underwear me ragadta hee raha.
“harami….”maine jab uska sar chhoda toh wo apna daant peeskar mujhe boli aur wahi zameen par lambi-lambi saans lete hue let gayi….

“madarchod, lund se daba kar mar dalunga…”

Maine neeche jhuk kar uski saree pakdi aur jor-jor se kheechne laga….jiske karan uski saree ka thoda sa hee bhag uske jisme se nikalne ke baad fat gaya….maine apne shirt ke jeb se ek hazar ka patta nikal kar uske muh me feka aur phhir se uski saree pakad kar kheechne laga...kyunki mujhe maloom tha ki ek randi afterall sirf paiso ki bhookhi hoti hai…paise ke liye toh wo ek jaanwar se bhi chudwa sakti hai….bistar se uthkar main bhi zameen me Madhulika ke upar let gaya….

“aaj mere se pahle koyi aaya tha….”

“nahi…”mere dwara feke gaye hazar ke note ko uthakar side me rakhkar Madhulika ne jawab diya….

“tune brush kiya hai…”

“haan…”bolkar mere peeth me wo apne hath ferne lagi….

Madhulika ka bas itna bolna tha ki main uske hontho ko choosne laga…. Par humara kissing scene successful nahi ho pa raha tha…kyunki Madhulika beech me baar-baar apna jeebh le aa rahi thi….

“lawda nahi choos rahi hai tu…honth choos rahi hai…”bolte hue maine uski choot ke upar hath rakha aur upar se hee sahlane laga…

Main uski taraf dekh kar bahut der tak uski choot ko sahlata raha aur phhir uski bachi-kuchi saree ko upar kiya….usne aaj bhi underwear nahi pahani hui thi….

“tu underwear kyun nahi pahanti…”

“chaddi…? ”

“hmm…”uski choot ko lagatar masalte hue maine kaha….

“jab din me 5-6 baar utarna hee hai toh ,chaddi pahan kar kya fayda….”

“chal phhir, ghoom ja….”Madhulika ke upar se uthkar maine kaha….

Madhulika ne saree…blouse utar kar wahi ek kinare rakh di aur aur phhir apni taang faila kar let gayi…..

“tel waha upar rakha hai….”

“aaj bina tel ke…”

“dard hoga….”

“toh kya aise hee main tujhe hazaro rupaye deta hoon…taaki tujhe pata bhi na chale…? meri lund ki mauzoodagi ka tujhe kuch toh ahsaas hona chahiye…kyunki afterall main mahan, mera lund mahan ”

“mujhe nahi aapko dard hoga….baad me…”

“ wo main sah lunga….”kahte hue maine uski gand ko failaya aur apna lund uske gand par rakhkar dhakka mara….

“tel laga ke chodo na….please”

“chal be Sali…”kahkar maine apne lund par aur jor lagaya jis-se mera pura lund uski gand me dhas gaya aur tabhi mujhe aisa laga jaise koyi chiz mere lund ko jakad rahi thi… par thodi der baad jab maine physics ka concept lagaya toh mujhe samajh aa gaya ki ye sab Madhulika ke dwara apni gand tight karne ka nateeza hai….

Mera pura lund uski gand ke andar dastak de chukka tha lekin phhir bhi main jabran apne lund ko aur andar thelne ki koshish kar raha tha….maine Madhulika ka dono hath uski kamar par rakhkar apne ek hath se pakad liya aur apna lund uski gand se bahar nikal kar condom utar ke fek diya….maine ab condom ke bina lund uski gand ke muhane par rakha aur jaise hee maine apna lund uski gand me dala wo apna sar aadha ghuma kar apna hath chhudane ki nakam koshish karne lagi….

“pitaji ne kaha hai ki bina condom ke kisi ko bhi chodne na du….wo kahte hai ki ye saale randi baaz…awara kutte hote hai….pata nahi kaha-kaha ghusate rahte hai….”

“kya kabhi tune kisi kutte ko kutiya ko chodte waqt condom lagate hue dekha hai….”Madhulika ko chodte hue uske pichhawade par pinch karte hue main bola…”mujhe tere bare me ye toh pata hai ki tu is dhandhe me kaise aayi…lekin Sali randi…tu itni sharif dikhti nahi… randi ban-ne se pahle bhi tune kisi ka lawda liya raha hoga….let me guess…apne mohalle ke kisi ladke ka…ya phhir…mohalle ke kisi aadmi ka…? ya phhir kisi buddhe ka ...yaaa phhir kisi jaanwar kar”

“apne pitaji kaaaa….”

“saaaaach….”Madhulika ko chodte hue main beech me ruka…. “sala, incest lover”

“ meeeeri..meri maa jab bimar hui tooo..ooh….pita ji ne maa ke samne mujhe nanga karke choda tha....main cheekhti rahi…chillati rahi…lekin meri madad karne koyi nahi aaya….bhagwan bhi nahi…”

“at the end, god will not help you…trust me, I have seen the future”bolte hue maine uska hath chhod diya…

“kya…”apne dono hath zameen par rakh kar uthne ki koshish karte hue boli… 

“mujhe kuch samajh nahi aaya…”

“chup chap leti rah….raand” Madhulika ko wapas neeche dhakel kar main bola “aur main bol raha tha ki bhagwan koyi madad nahi karta…wo ab tang ho chuka hai insano se…insaan use irritate karte hai….isiliye ab bhagwan insano ki madad nahi karte…wo toh bas ab insano ko khatm karne ke firaq me hai…”

“neeche farsh par sex karne se baad me sharir bahut dukhta hai…aap bahut bhari ho…”

“ok…chal uth…aur bistar par jakar ghodi ban ja….”

Abki baar maine Madhulika ko uthne diya.Madhulika uthi aur bistar par ghodi bankar apne chutado ko hilane lagi, mano wo mujhe bula rahi ho….

“Daddu ko kabhi police pakad kar nahi le gayi….”uske peeche jakar uske chutado ko sahlate hue maine puchha

“abhi kuch mahine pahle le gayi thi…jab usne yaha ke purv vidhayak ko dhamki di thi…”

“thank you….”uski choot par apna lund rakhte hue khushi se maine kaha“toh wo dukan wala sahi kah raha tha…news confirmed…tune jo kuch bhi us din Daddu ke bare me bataya tha use us dukan wale ne confirm kiya aur yaha ke Ex-MLA se Daddu ke lafde ke baare me jo us dukan wale ne bataya tha, use tune confirm kiya….L.H.S. = R.H.S. , hence proved…”
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Apni bhookh shant karne ke baad main bistar se utha aur apne kapde pahan-ne laga….Madhulika bistar par hee leti hui thi aur meri taraf hee dekhe ja rahi thi….uska yun meri taraf dekhna mujhe disturb kar raha tha aur pasand toh bilkul bhi nahi aa raha tha…jispar pahle toh maine kuch nahi kaha lekin jab wo mujhe aise hee dekhti rahi toh main irritate hokar bola…

“aise kya dekh rahi hai be…tum randiyo ko main ache se janta hoon…aise hee look de-dekar logo ko apne jaal me fasti ho aur unka sab kuch lootkar unka ghar tabah kar deti ho…lekin jaisa ki maine pahle bhi kaha hai ki main un chutiyo ki tarah nahi hoon..”apna belt kaste hue main bola…jise sunkar Madhulika hasne lagi….

“bahut ki pant utari hai maine, saheb…aur pant ke sath-sath unke chehre se unka naqab bhi…aur meri baat mano toh ab aap yaha mat aao…warna loot kar hee jaoge…aap ye bolto ho ki main aapka kuch nahi loot paungi…par jitni baar aap yaha aaye utni baar aap sirf lut kar gaye hai, loot kuch nahi paye”

“ye hazar-do hazar…huh..ye hazar-do hazar mere liye koyi mayne nahi rakhte aur aaj kal toh bilkul bhi nahi”

“ye toh abhi shuruat hai...waqt ke sath-sath ye mulaqat bhi badhegi aur ye hazar ka aakda bhi….maine bade-bade mahapursho ko yaha nanga hote hue dekha hai toh phhir aap kya chiz ho….”

“main yugpurush hoon…aur kyunki mera sathi Physics hai isliye mujhe duniya ki koyi taqat nahi hara sakti aur is mind game toh bilkul bhi nahi… tum log bas thoda intezaar karo, Ganga-Jamuna me rahne wali har ek randi ki gand laal nahi ki toh mera name bhi Shri Arman nahi….i mean Shri Arman 3.0” apne kapde pahan kar maine goggle lagaya aur cigarette jalakar uska dhua Madhulika ke muh me fek kar bola… 

“tujhe andaza bhi nahi ki apne aap ko sahi sabit karne ke liye aur apna badla lene ke liye main kitna neeche gir sakta hoon…. mere liye toh physics bhi apna law badal deta hai… in short, I’m that dog who will bite everyone…see you soon…ache se gand marwana…bye”

Chapter-16: Recall-1/The Breakup Show

Chapter-16: Recall-1/The Breakup Show

Madhulika se vida lekar main seedhe Daddu ke yaha pahucha… aaj Daddu ke shagirdo ne mujhe ache se bithaya aur chay-pani ke liye bhi puchha…Daddu waise toh raat ke samay hee Itwari me aata hai, lekin thodi jaanch-padtal ke baad mujhe ye maloom hua tha ki subah 10 baje ke pahle bhi Daddu Ganga-Jamuna ka ek round marta hai aur ye sach bhi nikla kyunki Daddu is samay apne hee adde par Ajmeri bai ke sath busy tha…isliye main waha Daddu ke jhat jaise cabin me baith kar cigarette par cigarette peeta raha….lekin Daddu tha ki Ajmeri ko chhodne ka name hee nahi le raha tha….maine ek aur cigarette muh me fasayi aur use chabate hue khud se bola….

“sala kaun si goli khata hai be…jo itni der se nikal hee nahi raha….puchhna padega, Vandana Rathi ko wahi goli khakar chodunga”

Maine waha aas-paas mauzood uske pantaro se kaha ki wo jakar Daddu ko mera messege de…tab unme se ek bola ki yadi unhone Daddu ko disturb kiya toh wo unhe jaan se mar dega… unke pantaro ne ye bhi kaha ki last time jab Daddu ,Ajmeri ke sath tha toh pure char ghante tak andar hee raha tha….sala Viagra-baz….par meri kismat achi thi…mujhe waha sirf ek ghanta hee Daddu ke liye wait karna pada….ek ghante baad Daddu aur Ajmeri dono sath me nikle….Daddu ke hath me katta tha toh uska dusra hath Ajmeri bai ke pichhwade me tha….undono ko dekh main waha baitha raha jise Daddu apna office bolta tha…jiske baad Daddu ne mujhe dekha aur Daddu ke sath Ajmeri bai bhi waha us office me aayi…Daddu table ke us paar main chair me baitha aur Ajmeri bai table ke is paar mere bagal me rakhi chair par sawar hui….

“light on kar be…”Daddu ne aawaz mari aur uske aawaz marte hee jaha hum log baithe the waha ki light chalu ho gayi… 

“kyun ladke…us din ke baad dikha nahi kothe par…us din toh bahut badi-badi baate kar raha tha…”mere hath par apna hath rakhte hue Ajmeri boli…

“chhat par koodte waqt chot lag gayi thi...”

“chhat ko toh chhod deta…”haste hue Ajmeri boli…

“nice one… par maine koodte hue kaha…aapne shayad kuch aur samjha” 

“tu meri bare me mere hee area me puchh-tachh kar raha hai…tune mujhe chutiya samajh rakha hai kya…”mere aur baby face Ajmeri Bai ke beech ke conversation ko khatm karte hue Daddu bola…

“chutiya nahi samajhdar samajhata hu…isiliye socha ki aap samajh jaoge…main aapke sath gun smuggling kar raha hoon…toh thoda bahut toh puchh-tachh karna mangta hai ki nahi….? waise us din aapne jin do aadmi ko mera peechha karne ke liye chhoda tha….unhe bol dena ki main waha nahi rahta ,jis ghar me main ghusa tha…wo toh unhe bhatkane ke liye main ghusa tha…waise bhi meri party ka main dealer main nahi hoon main toh bas broker hoon… aap bas ye samajh lo ki aise hee do number ke dhandhe se mera guzara chalta hai…”

“chutiye sale…par unhone toh kaha tha ki tu waha se wapas hee nahi nikla…”

“main bhagte hue aage se ghusa aur bhagte hue peeche se nikal gaya…guns kab tak aa jayege…”

“main tere ko phone karunga…”

“no problem…by the way apun aapke vaste kuch laya hai…”ek packet table par rakhte hue maine kaha… 

“kya hai iske andar…”

“new phone…”Ajmeri bai ki taraf muskura kar dekhte hue maine kaha “wo bhi seal…packed…jiske badle me mujhe sirf itna chahiye ki mera maal ek mahine ke andar mujhe mil jaye…jiske baad main yaha mauzood har ek shaks ko ek mobile gift karunga…even Ajmeri bai ko bhi…”

Itne me Daddu ke aadmi ek shaks ko jabran ghaseet-te hue utha kar waha laye aur Daddu ko bahar bulakar us shaks ko marne lage…Daddu ne apne aadmiyo ko use wahi andar cabin me lane ke liye kaha….shayad wo mujhpar apna raub jhadna chahta tha…maine us shaks ko dekha…wo meri umra ka hee tha…ya phhir mujhse kuch saal thoda bada raha hoga…uske andar aate hee Daddu ne us par katta taan diya aur bola

“kyun be…tujhe samajh nahi aata kya…bola na ki teri behan Ajmeri bai ke kothe par dhandha karegi…uska college kal se band…ab uski class kal se Ajmeri bai ke kothe par lagegi…aur kal se tu apni behan ka dalal kahlayega…”

“mujhe maaf kar do Daddu bhai…wo meri behan hai…”rote hue Daddu ke pair pakad kar wo gidgidane laga…

“wo teri behan hee hai…biwi toh nahi hai na…wo kya hai ki teri behan bilkul seal packed hai…is mobile ki tarah…isliye uska rate bahut jyada rahega….aur Ajmeri bai ke kothe par bahut kam khush naseeb ladkiyo ko kaam karne ka mauka milta hai…”

“lekin Daddu bhai…”

“Madarchod…samajh nahi aata kya…ek baar me….”ek laat use markar Daddu bola 

“tu apne aap hee apni behan ko Ajmeri bai ke kothe par chhod ja…warna tere pure khandan ko randi bana kar Ajmeri bai ke kothe par dhandha karwaunga…chal nikal sale yaha se ab…”

Maine ye sab kuch dekha , ye sab mere saamne hee hua…jaha ek taqatwar aadmi ne ek kamzor ko dhamki di thi… us pure samay main yahi sochta raha ki Main us aadmi ki help kar sakta hoon…main koyi tikdam lagakar use aur uski behan ko bacha sakta hoon…aisa meri antaratma ne mujhse kaha….par isi ke sath ek aur sawal jo meri antaratma ne mere saamne rakha ki…why should I….. kya lena-dena mujhe us anjaan shaks ki behan se… kaun sa lawda yadi main use bacha lunga toh uski bahan mujhse chudwayegi…. Hat BC , do-do antaratma….. 
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filhal toh maine us matter me koyi ungali nahi ki aur seedhe Colony ke liye ravana hua...Apne flat pahuchkar Maine jaise hee main gate khola mujhe farsh par ek notice dikhayi diya…par actual me wo koyi notice nahi tha…balki electricity bill tha…maine electricity bill ko dekha aur modkar dustbin me nishana lagane laga…..

“sala, miss ho gaya….? par kaise…”chaukte hue maine phhir se us bill ko uthaya aur dustbin se thodi door jakar dustbin par phhir se nishana lagaya….

“phhir se miss…ye kaise mumkin hai…”

Maine phhir se bill uthaya aur use modkar ek-do mantra jo mujhe school time ke yaad the unhe bolkar dustbin me nishana lagakar feka…lekin main is baar bhi chook gaya tha…jisase khisiya kar maine decide kiya ki jab tak ye bill dustbin me nahi jayega...main dustbin me nishana lagata hee rahunga…phhir chahe subah hee kyun na ho jaye…maine apna sara hunar ,sari mehnat laga di tab jakar 31st time me bill dustbin me goal hua aur Dustbin me goal marne ke baad maine apni khushi ka izhar karne ke liye hawa me hath uthaya hee tha ki mujhe kisi ne peechhe se pakda. Pakda kya…balki daboch liya…jiske karan main jhijhak utha aur peechhe palat kar dekha….

“hello sir…”

“hell..O…hello”

“how are you, sir….”apni pakad mazboot banate hue Aradhna ne puchha…

“f..f..faa….fine…how..how are you…Aradhana”kanpte hue maine jawab diya….

“aap mujhse itna darte kyun ho…pahle toh aap aise nahi the…kya aap ab badal chuke ho….”

“main aur dar….m..m…main kaha…haahaaaa”

“you love me, right…”

“ofcourse…not…I mean why not”Aradhna ke changul se chhootne ki koshish karte hue maine kaha…lekin usne itni mazbooti se mujhe pakad rakha tha ki main uske changul se chhoot tak nahi paa raha tha….
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“sir, aapko yaad hai…college time pe kaise aap mujhe bure ladko se bachaya karte the…”

“ yaad… ofcourse yaad hai…”Aradhna ki pakad se chhootne ki koshish karte hue maine kaha…lekin jab abki baar bhi main nakam raha toh main bola…“Janeman,ab kya tum mujhe chhodogi…mujhe bathroom jaana hai…”

“thik hai”

“jaha power kaam na aaye waha pyar kaam aata hai…”

Aradhna ke chhodne ke baad…main jaldi se bhagkar bathroom me ghusa aur bathroom ka gate andar se band kar liya….

“iski maa ka…abey ye kya tha…wo bhootni aaj kaise aa gayi…pahle toh kuch din ka gap lekar aati thi…kahi main sapna toh nahi dekh raha…let me check…”

“lawda check…real hai…”

“tujhe kaise pata…”

“yakin nahi toh apna sar patak ke dekh le…ya phhir bathroom me susu kar le…yadi sapna hoga toh bistar me geelepan ki vazah se teri neend khul jayegi…jaise bachpan me hota tha…remember”

“great idea… “

“welcome ”
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Maine apne pant ki zib kholi aur susu karte hue bathroom me Arun ka name likhne laga…. ye raha…A… R… U… lekin Arun ka pura name likhne se pahle hee mera tank khali ho gaya aur main ab bhi wahi tha…

“ye haqiqat hai…”apne lund par jor dete hue maine kaha…. “anyway…main Arun ka name complete zaroor karunga…”

Maine apne pet me thoda aur bal lagaya aur phhir Arun ka name complete karke bathroom me hee khade-khade sochne laga ki ab kya karu….Aradhna ko yaha se kaise rafa-dafa karu…ye toh Sali gale hee pad gayi…ab ise kaun samjhaye ki is duniya me sabse jyada nafrat main Gautam ke baad isi se karta hoon…Sali dehati kahi ki…khamkha har baar mere peechhe pad jati hai….kya karu…kya karu…

“thik waisa hee kar jaisa ki tune college time me kiya tha…Aradhna se break up karne ke dauran…”Version 2.0 ne apni salah mujhe di…

“mujhe thik se kuch yaad nahi…aajkal meri power thodi kam ho gayi hai…bole toh mera sixth sense aajkal kaam nahi kar raha…mujhe toh ye tak nahi maloom ki aaj ki taarikh kaun si hai…jabki deewar bar banaye gaye calendar me maine subah hee aaj ki taarikh par gola mara tha”

“main help karu…”

“hmm…”

“aankhe band kar…”

“aankh band karu…par kyun…”

“flashback baby…flashback… ab kya aankh kholkar flashback me jayega”

“oh k…”

maine apni aankh band ki aur aankh band karte hee mujhe sabse pahle mera college dikhayi diya…badhiya bada sa, behatareen sa… jaha maine apni zindagi ke sabse behtareen char saal guzare the ya phhir yun kah lijiye ki jaha maine apni zindagi ke sabse bekar char saal guzare the… maine dekha ki waha college ke saamne kuch jhat barabar launde the , jo parking me khade hokar ladkiyo ko line maar rahe the….

“2.0, please, change the location…I hate my college”

aur mere aisa bolte hee mera dimag college se girls hostel ki taraf jaane wali sadak par daudne laga...ye sab bahut speed ke sath ho raha tha matlab bahut hee tez gati ke sath mera dimag girls hostel wali sadak par dauda aur aakhir me Girls hostel ke bahar jakar rook gaya aur maine dekha ki main toh waha par pahle se hee khada tha lekin main toh yaha tha… maine do-do antaratma ka experience kuch der pahle hee liya tha par ab do-do Arman…ye kaise mumkin hai ? main toh yaha peechhe khada hoon , phhir waha hostel ke gate ke saamne mujh jaisa dikhne wala insaan kaun hai…. kahi wo Gautam toh nahi, jo mask lagakar aaya ho, ya phhir Arun…

“abey jhat, brain ke through tu flashback me hai… time travel me nahi… jaha tu Arman-1 ke sharir me ghus jata hai… kya tujhe flashback aur time-travel ke beech ka difference nahi maloom ? flashback me tu sirf dekh sakta hai, sun sakta hai.. ro sakta hai aur ye sab sirf tujh tak simit rahega… bakiyo ko tere presence ka aabhas tak nahi hoga… ye mera time tha aur jo tere saamne Arman khada hai wo 2.0 hai..yaani ki main..”

“par tu toh yaha mere saamne hai”

“abey gandul… ye flashback hai.. jab log kisi ko apne beeti yaado ke baare me batate hai tab bhi toh wo dono jagah hote hai… ab samjha kuch.. khud ko Physics-putra kahta hai aur itna nahi maloom… jaa back to back dus baar mutth markar mar ja kahi..”

“bas kar be aur kitni insult karega show shuru kiya jaye”

Toh waha…. Girls hostel ke bahar main khada tha aur Aradhna ka besabri se intezaar kar raha tha….abhi 6:30 baje the aur raat 7 baje tak hee ladkiyo ko bahar aane-jane ki permission thi…waise kahne ko toh wo flashback tha par main mahsoos kar sakta tha ki waha khada Arman kya mahsoos kar raha hai…kyunki wo main hee tha…

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Aradhna ko ab apni girl friend bolne me mujhe kuchh khas achchha nahi lagta tha .ek to wo average ladki thi,upar se use main kayi baar apne dosto ke room me lejakar chod chuka tha...isliye ab uspar mujhe koyi interest nahi tha ,halanki uski badi-badi chutado me ab bhi itna dam tha ki wo mera lawda khada kar de...lekin ab sala mood nahi hota tha ,Aradhna ke sath wo sab karne ko....aur waise bhi jiski girl friend Esha jaisi ladki ban jaye toh phhir Aradhna jaisi ek average gaanv ki ladki ke sath relationship banakar kaun apni durgati karaye....isliye main us waqt Aradhna se milne gaya tha....halaki us waqt mujhe Aradhna se sahanubhuti toh ho rahi thi ki usko bura lagega...lekin main kar bhi kya sakta tha...main nahi chahta tha ki kisi din jab main college me Esha ke sath kahi ghoom raha hoon toh Aradhna waha aaye aur bole ki “kal raat ki chudai ka asar abhi tak hai…sir, please aisa mat choda karo....” isliye main aaj idhar sab kuchh khatam karne aaya tha…lekin mujhe us waqt kya pata tha ki sabkuch wakayi me khatm ho jayega….
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Mera aisa manna tha ki Aradhna mujhse naraz hogi ,mujhpar cheekhegi,chillayegi...yaha tak ki gusse me hath bhi utha sakti hai isliye Aradhna ko hostel se bahar aate dekh maine apne hatho ko kisi bhi achanak hamle se nipatne ke liye taiyar kar liya tha.

"kya hua sir, itni raat ko...kya vichar hai...aapka"hamesha ki tarah chudne ke mood me aate hue Aradhna boli... Sali randi..Madarchod

"bas aise hee..."(thode der ruk hawasi, aisa lawda ghusaunga ki zindagi bhar dard nahi jayega)

"phhir kahiye...kyun kast kiya yaha tak aane ka..."

"mujhe kuchh kahna hai tere ko..."

"toh nervous kyun ho rahe ho...aap bhi nervous hote ho kya.."mera mazak udate hue Aradhna hasi...
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Update-56

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"phhir kahiye...kyun kast kiya yaha tak aane ka..."

"mujhe kuchh kahna hai tere ko..."

"toh nervous kyun ho rahe ho...aap bhi nervous hote ho kya.."mera mazak udate hue Aradhna hasi...

"main actually nervous nahi hoon, nervous hone ki acting kar raha hoon ,taki jo main aage kahne wala hoon, use sunkar tera dard kuchh kam ho aur main ye…ye…kahna chahta hoon ki main tujhse pyar nahi karta...wo sab to aise hee bas time pass karne ke liye maine ye sab natak kiya tha...."

Itna bolkar Maine socha ki abhich...bas abhich Aradhna royegi, mujhpar hath uthayegi...lekin usne waisa kuchh nahi kiya .ulta wo rone ki bajay aise hasne lagi jaise maine uski choot me gudgudi ki ho.....

"tu has kyun rahi hai...main sach bol raha hoon "

"mujhe yahi batane ke liye hostel se bahar bulaye ho..."Aradhna ne thode der ke liye apni hansi roki aur phhir hasne lagi.....

"hans le,mera kya hai...lekin main kuchh chize clear kar diye deta hoon...ab se na toh tu mujhe call karna aur na hee messege...waise bhi agar tu ye sab karna bhi chahegi to kar nahi payegi ,kyunki main kal hee apna number change kar dunga aur apna purana number hostel ke kisi launde ko de dunga...isliye soch-samajh kar hee messege karna..."

"hmmm...."ye sunkar Aradhna ki hansi abki ruk gayi...."main samjhi nahi kuch...aap kahna kya chahte ho..."

"main directly jo kahna chahta hoon,use indirectly hee samajh le na...tujhe hee fayda hoga..."

"matlab…"

"indirectly nahi samajhi na...toh phhir le, directly sun .maine tere door ke bhai kallu kanghichor se shart lagayi thi ki main tujhe pata ke chodunga...jisme main kamyaab raha. Lekin ab mera mann bhar gaya hai,isliye...aaj se hum kabhi nahi milenge aur yadi kabhi mile bhi toh baat nahi karenge aur yadi kabhi baat bhi karni padi to ,is baare me to bilkul bhi baat nahi karenge...."thode der ke liye main ruka ,kyunki jaise-jaise main bolte ja raha tha,Aradhna ki aankhe dheere-dheere badi hoti ja rahi thi...wo rona chahti thi,ya phhir kahe ki wo bas ro hee deti ,yadi main us waqt chup na hua hota toh....isliye main thodi der ke liye ruka aur jab mujhe yakin ho gaya ki ,Aradhna ab thoda normal ho gayi hai to maine aage bolna shuru kiya....

"maa kasam, Aradhna...main tujhse bilkul bhi pyar nahi karta.main kisi aur se pyar karta hoon, main tujhe uska name bhi batata lekin security reasons ki vazah se main tujhe uska naam nahi bataunga.main janta hoon ki tujhe bahut bura lag raha hoga aur lagna bhi chahiye… aakhir tune mujhse apni gand aise hee thodi marwayi hai ki main kisi aur ko dekh kar ya phhir sochkar mutth maru…lekin main kya karu....main mazboor hoon…waise bhi tujhe sochna chahiye tha ki mujh jaisa ladka college ki baki ladkiyo ko chhodkar tere peechhe kyun padega .main janta hoon ki main bahut bura kah raha hoon lekin mujhe is waqt bilkul bhi bura nahi lag raha hai ,jo is baat ki gavaah hai ki mere kaleje me tere liye zero point zero zero zero zero one(0.00001) ke barabar bhi koyi feeling nahi hai par main tujhe salah de sakta hoon… Google me jakar search karna ki 'how to forget ex-boyfriend'. Ummid hai,kuch kaam ki chiz mil jayegi...."bolkar main chup hua aur yaad karne laga ki aur kuchh bolna baki hai ya phhir khisku yaha se....

"ek aur baat....aaj ke baad kisi se bhi pange mat lena aur yadi koyi senior intro vagerah le toh shanti se de dena...kyunki ab main tujhe bachane nahi aane wala...ab chalta hoon.all the best..."

iske baad main waha ek second ke liye bhi nahi ruka aur wapas tez kadmo ke sath hostel ki taraf badha....kyunki main nahi chahta tha ki Aradhna mere peechhe aa jaye....

"Wow ! Aradhna ka matter to badi aasani se sulajh gaya....usne to koyi react hee nahi kiya. Mujhe aise hee ladkiya pasand hai,jo meri baat sune aur bas sune...koyi jawab ya sawal na kare...."
Aradhna se break up karke hostel ki taraf jaa rahe Arman ko maine aawaz di…use rokna chaha…taaki wo ruk jaye aur Aradhna se break up na kare… lekin ye flashback tha…koyi time travel nahi…jo main kuch kar sakta tha…afterall wo main hee toh tha…jisne abhi-abhi ek ladki ka dil dukhaya tha aur ek baar bhi palat kar Aradhna ko nahi dekha tha…lekin Aradhna …wo ab bhi wahi khadi thi aur mujhe hostel ki taraf jate hue dekhti rahi…wo waha bahut der tak khadi rahi…aur ant me jab uske hostel ke chaukidar ne use andar aane ke liye kaha toh usne apni nazar 2.0 se hatakar meri taraf dekha….yes… meri taraf dekha…matlab version 3.0 ki taraf dekha aur bahut tezi se daud kar mere paas aa gayi….

“kya sir…flashback….”

“what the….tu mujhe kaise dekh sakti hai…main toh yaha hoon hee nahi…”chauk kar peechhe hat-te hue maine kaha...aur turant apni aankh band kar li….

“thank god…”bathroom me apni aankh kholte hue lambi-lambi saanse bharkar maine kaha “ye Aradhna toh pagal kar degi mujhe…ye toh mere rom-rom me bas chuki hai…kya iska koyi ilaaz nahi hai…aise me toh ye mujhe suicide bhi nahi karne degi…”

Galti insaan ko ye dikhati hai ki usne kya galat kiya aur aage use kya nahi karna chahiye lekin shayad main ye kabhi samajh hee nahi paya tha…warna Nisha ke sath mera relation kabhi nahi banta aur na hee main Madhulika ke paas jata…mera matlab mujhe kya zaroorat hai Ganga-Jamuna jakar Daddu se koyi deal-veal karne ki…kya main koyi criminal hoon…ya phhir koyi aatankwadi hoon…. seriously main kya karunga un 100 guns ka aur main kyun kar raha hoon ye sab…mujhe chahiye ki main apne ghar jaun…gharwalo se maafi mangu aur jo salah maine us din Varun ke bade bhai ko di thi us salah ko main bhi apnau…

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…..aap ghar jao…competitive exams ki taiyari karo aur exam clear karke apni life track par le aao…this is the best you can do…
“yeah..this is the best I can do…”bathroom me jabran apne hath dhulte hue main bola…jabki main ek baar already apne hath-pair dhul chuka tha.

“bitch please…You’re Arman…Shri Arman…”

“ correct…main Arman hoon…Arman 3.0 na ki Arman 2.0…tujhe yani ki Version 2.0 ko zindagi ne sab diya tha…friends, girlfriends, paisa, power, family , talent…lekin tune sab kuch barbaad kar diya… lekin main aisa nahi karunga…main apne talent ka pura istemaal karunga…main abhi jakar Mathematics ke pure topics revision marunga aur phhir Thermodynamic padhna start kar dunga….”

“par bahar jo Aradhna hai…uska kya karega….”

“wo ab bahar nahi hogi…”

“tujhe kaise pata…”

“sixth sense… check kar le…yadi Aradhna abhi bahar dikh gayi toh main ek hafte tak nahi hilaunga….”

“done…”

“done…”

Main bahar aaya aur pure flat me Aradhna ko dhoondha lekin Aradhna kahi bhi nahi thi… that’s Arman-3 for you…..bitches 

Maine thermodynamics ka ebook khola aur syllabus ke according padhna shuru kar diya…shuru-shuru me jab main padhne baitha tha tab raat ke 10 baje the aur us samay meri andar energy peak par thi…lekin jaise-jaise samay beeta mera sar bhari hota chala gaya…aur maine raat ke 2 baje bahar ghoomne ka plan banaya….pahle toh maine do round river view colony ka lagaya lekin jab mera mood phhir bhi thik nahi hua toh main colony se bahar nikal kar NH-6 ki taraf daudte hue chala gaya….is samay mere paas mera katta bhi tha, isliye mujhe zara sa bhi dar nahi lag raha tha ki koyi mujhe kuch kar dega…. Main full bindas me NH-6 me night walking kar raha tha ki tabhi ek car bahut speed me aayi aur mere paas se guzar gayi…

“Maaadharchod….”us car wale ko maine kaha aur phhir samne thodi doori par ek ped ko dekh kar khud ko challenge kiya ki kya main us ped ko daudkar 8 seconds me paar kar sakta hoon ?

Maine khud ko challenge kiya aur khud hee challenge accept bhi kar liya…

Chapter-17: Family, Friend and Basketball

“yeah…I did it…”us ped ko 8 seconds ke bheetar paar karne ke baad hafte hue maine kaha aur ghutno par hath rakhkar jhuk gaya taaki thakan jaldi jaye….aur tabhi door se aati hui ek car ne horn maarkar mujhe sadak se hatne ka sanket diya….

“Arman se panga…abhi batata hoon…”

Sadak se hatne ke bajay ulta main aur beech me khada ho gaya aur meri taraf aati hui car par maine gun taan di…
Jab main aisa kar raha tha toh mujhe yahi laga tha ki car wala ya car wali mere hath me gun dekhkar dar ke mare apni car rok dega…jispar main do-teen dialogues chipka kar use vida kar dunga…lekin jab se sadak ke beech-o-beech khada hokar maine gun us aati hui car ki taraf kiya tha tab se us car ki speed aur badh gayi thi….jisase meri fati aur maine fati me turant trigger daba diya…lekin trigger chalate waqt mera hath kanpa aur goli pata nahi BC kis disha me gayi….ab car ki speed aur bhi tez ho gayi thi,isliye maine jyada rolebazi na marte hue samne se hatna hee behtar samjha….. lekin maine aisa kiya bilkul bhi nahi balki iske ulat wahi beech sadak par khade hokar car ki taraf firing ki aur abki baar mera hath na kaanpe isliye apne dusare hath se maine jis hath me gun pakda hua tha , use pakad liya…. ab samajh aaya filmo me aise gun kyu pakadte hai, taaki nishana correct baithe…

Jab Mere dwara dusari bullet fire karne ke baad bhi Car meri oor badh hee rahi thi tabhi maine apni aankh band kar li , kyunki mujhe andaza ho chala tha ki ab ye car mujhe udane wali hai… main chahta toh waha se hatkar in sabko rok sakta tha…lekin main apne ego ke karan sadak ke beech-o-beech khada raha aur is karname ko anzaam de diya….

“kya main zinda hoon… ? ”apni dayi aankh dheere-dheere kholkar maine samne dekha aur khud se sawal kiya

“mujhe toh kuch nahi hua… kya mere andar koyi super power hai… ”apni dusari aankh bhi dheere-dheere kholkar maine khud se sawal kiya aur tabhi kisi ke dard se karahne ki aawaz mujhe sunayi di…maine apna rookh us aawaz ki taraf kiya….

“iski maa ka… ye kya kar diya maine… kya main itna strong hoon ki mujhse takra kar car ghoom gayi…”

Kuch der pahle Jis car ke saamne main khada tha, wo car ab highway se neeche ek ped se thuki hui thi aur uske andar baithe log dard se karah rahe the…. Main thodi der jaha khada tha, wahi khada raha aur phhir sochne laga ki actual me kya hua hoga…. 

“dusari Bullet maine car par chalayi thi jo seedhe jakar car me hee lagi aur car mere tak pahuch pati uske pahle hee car mere bagal se bayi taraf mudkar ek ped se takra gayi….. car wale ne mujhe nahi thokha…iske do karan ho sakte hai…pahla karan ye ki bullet ke Car se contact hone par driver dar gaya hoga aur usne aanan-fanan me Car dusari taraf ghuma di hogi…dusara karan ye ki bullet seedhe driver ko lagi hogi aur uske hath se car ka steering ghoom gaya hoga…. Chalkar dekhta hoon…”
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Maine apna chehra roomal se bandha aur Katta apne hath me ghoomate hue ped se takra chuki us car ke paas pahucha… main bade role se katta ghuma raha tha , jiske karan ek baar toh katta mere hath se gir bhi chuka tha…anyway, Car ke andar total 5 log the aur sab launde hee the… jo nashe me full tunn the… waha car ke andar unke aas-paas beer ki kayi botal padi hui thi….kuch khali , toh kuch bhari hui aur kuch phooti hui…

“please don’t kill us…take the money or take whatever you want, whatever you like… but don’t kill us… please, please”un paanch ladko me se ek ne mujhse kaha….

“great idea… chalo tum sab apna-apna batua nikalo…”katta unpar taante hue maine kaha 

Jiske baad un sabne bina kisi rok-tok ke apna-apna batau nikala aur bahar fek diya….jiske baad maine un sabke batue se paise nikal kar batua unhe wapas kar diya… kyunki unme unke ATM card, PAN card wagerah the….

“main tum log ko ek shart me zinda chhodunga…” Car ke andar khidki se hath dalkar ek beer nikalte hue maine kaha “ jo-jo Taylor Swift I mean Taylor series ka formula bata dega uski jaan main baksha dunga….”

“itna bada….form..form…formula kaun batayega…”aage wali seat par baitha ek launda apni seat belt kholne ki koshish karte hue bola “wo toh humne third semester me padha tha…”

“tu engineering kar rela hai kya…”

“hum sab Mechanical Engineering ke students hai…. Aur apne dost ka birthday celebrate karke wapas ghar ja rahe the….”

“Engineering kar rahe ho... isliye jaan se nahi maar raha hoon… lekin ghar jakar Taylor Series ka formula yaad zaroor kar lena….kal main tum logo ke ghar aakar formula puchhunga”bolkar maine Car ke andar se ek aur beer ki botal uthayi aur waha se bhagkar wapas apne flat me aaya….

“ maza aa gaya BC…. Ab roz NH-6 me jaunga aur logo ko lootunga… jisme mera sath dega mera Katta… ”

“I am Arman, I have a Gun
I own this world, let’s begin the Fun….”

Room me Beer ki ek botal khali karne ke baad main chhat par pahucha aur net se Nagpur ke Ex-MLAs ki list nikalne lag gaya…. 

“Sidharth Singh Bairangi…. Ye raha mera bakra… yahi hai wo jis-se Daddu uncle ki bilkul nahi jamti… mujhe bas in dono ko bhidana hai. Taaki mera kaam aasan ho jaye… wait, par main ye sab kyun kar raha hoon… oh, got it…”muskurate hue maine mobile apne jeb me rakha aur phhir Vandana Rathi ki chhat ki taraf nazar dali….

“kya bolta hai Arman…ek baar phhir ho jaye…”

“bilkul nahi…last time wala bhool gaya kya… kaise kutto ke mafiq gheesat-gheesat kar R.Rathi ke flat se apne flat me aaya tha….”

“so what… Always Remember that A lion never stops after an unsuccessful hunt…”

“marwa ke hee rahega tu…”

“that’s two point zero for you…. My dear”

“chal phhir… ho jaye ek-ek jump… lekin helmet pahan ke…”

“sure…”
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Maine apne sar me helmet lagaya aur apne flat se Vandana Rathi ke flat tak ki doori ko measure karte hue apna sar khujane laga I mean helmet khujane laga…. Main thoda peechhe gaya aur daudkar apne flat se ek jump liya…. Abki baar mujhe puri ummid thi ki main safal ho jaunga aur main safal ho bhi jata lekin meri jump is baar bhi thodi si kam pad gayi aur mere sar ke sath meri puri body deewar se takrayi aur deewar se takrane ke baad main pichhali baar ki tarah is baar bhi Vandana Rathi ke garden me gira… dard mujhe ab bhi ho raha tha lekin pichhali baar ki tulna me abki baar dard bahut kam tha…kyunki last time meri chhati E-5 ke chhat ke kinare se takrayi thi jabki baar aisa nahi hua tha… khair main thodi der tak wahi naram-naram ghas par aankh band kiye hue leta raha aur jab dard kuch normal hua toh aankh kholkar dono hath se apna helmet utara…. Lekin mere hath is waqt itna kaanp rahe the ki sar se helmet nikalna bhi mere liye mushkil ho raha tha…
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Maine bahut mehnat ki helmet ko nikalne ki lekin jab maine helmet utara toh paya ki eka-ek subah ho gayi hai…subah nahi…actually dopahar ho gayi thi…par phhir jab maine waha pade-pade aas-paas gaur kiya toh paya ki actuyally abhi sham ka samay hai…time yahi kuch 4-5 baje honge…. Aur toh aur ye jagah wo nahi thi…jaha mujhe girna chahiye tha… ye jagah toh…. Ye jagah toh…. Mere ghar ke paas wala ground tha..mujhe abhi dhang se kuch dikh bhi nahi raha tha…mera matlab thodi der pahle mujhe sab kuch saaf dikhayi de raha tha… lekin ab sab kuch dhundhala-dhundhala dikhayi pad raha tha… upar se waha bahut shor-sharaba bhi ho raha tha... mujhe sab kuch dhundhala sa hee jaan pad raha tha ki mere kano me kisi ki aawaz padi...

"Arman, bach... wo bat lekar tujhe marne aa raha hai..."

Maine apni aankh ek baar band karke ahiste se apni aankho ko sahlaya aur phhir apni aankhe kholi….

“ab saaf dikhayi de raha hai…lekin ye kya…. koyi mujhe bat se marne wala hai… iski toh… ”bolkar maine apni aankhe band kar li… lekin jab kuch der tak mujhe kuch ahsaas nahi hua toh maine apni aankhe dobara kholi… 

“what the… fuck. Pahle Vandana Rathi ka flat , phhir ghar ke paas wala ground aur ab turant hee ek jhatke me main apne school ke basketball court me ? itni jaldi-jaldi scene kaise change ho raha hai…lagta hai past ka recap mode activate ho gaya hai…”
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Main is samay apne school ke basketball court ke paas akele baitha hua tha aur thodi der tak main wahi baithakar apne aaju-baju dekhne laga ki koyi yaha bhi toh mujhe marne nahi aa raha hai aur jab thodi der tak waha koyi nahi aaya toh main waha se khada hua aur school ke main gate ki taraf chal pada….Mera irada abhi filhal school se bahar nikalne ka tha…lekin maine jaise hee school ke main gate se bahar jaane ke liye apna pair uthaya mera pair hawa me hee rook gaya…meri puri body jaise jam ho gaya ta… main apne sharir ka koyi bhi ang nahi hila pa raha tha…yaha tak ki apni ek ungali bhi nahi mujhe aisa laga jaise bhagwan ne mujhe statue bol diya ho aur us dauran jab mera pair hawa me atka hua tha tab…aasman ka rang bahut tezi se badalne laga…school ki deeware achanak se chhoti-badi ho rahi thi…waha school ke paas jitney bhi ghar ya dukane thi…sabme koyi na koyi changes ho hee rahe the…kisi ka color change hota toh kisi ka shape. sadak, school…waha bane ghar aur dukane sab kuch meri aankho ke saamne tezi se badal rahe the aur phhir eka-ek hawa me latka hua mera pair zameen me aaya par ab main school me nahi tha…ab main apne ghar me khada tha….

Chaukte hue main apne ghar ki deewaro ko dekhne laga ki kahi ye bhi badal rahi hai ya nahi… aur jab unme koyi parivartan nahi hua toh maine baki mahol pe dhyan diya…jis-se mujhe pata chala ki mere mummy-papa ke sath mera bhai saamne sofe par baitha hua hai aur main kisi mujrim ki bhaati unke saamne khada tha…jis-se mujhe ahsaas hua ki zaroor maine aaj ke date pe koyi kaand kiya hoga jiski peshi ghar par chal rahi hai… maine apne sar par apna hath firaya toh paya ki mere sar me patti bandhi hui hai… yani ki meri zaroor kisi se ladayi hui hogi… yaad aaya, wo ground me us ladke dwara mujhpar bat se hamla…..

“jawab dega… ya yun hee muh band kiye khada rahega….”Vipin bhaiya ne mujhse kaha…

“jawab kya dena hai…hum log match khel rahe the aapke dosto se. aur jab wo harne lage toh gaddari karne lage… jispar Varun ne aapke dosto ko gaddar kah diya aur aapke wo sand jaise dost Varun ko marne lage…aur beech-bachav me mujhe ye chot lag gayi…”

“tujhe hazar baar kaha hai ki Varun ke sath mat ghooma kar…lekin tu…”sofe se uthkar mere papa ne mujhe ek tamacha jad diya….

“teri maa ka…”mann hee mann me maine kaha aur chup-chap sah liya…

“ye aise hee sudhrega papa… kuch log iski tarah laat khane wale hee hote hai jine apne family ki izzat ki koyi parvah nahi hoti…”Vipin bhaiya ne kaha….

“Arman… tu kyun aisa karta hai… abhi pichhale hafte hee tere sar me chot lagi thi aur aaj phhir tune….”bolte-bolte meri maa ruk gayi… kyunki is dauran mere papa ne mere gaal par ek aur tamacha pel diya tha…

“teri maa ki maa ka…”dusara tamacha khane ke baad maine kaha…..lekin mann me

“dekh beta… Varun acha ladka nahi hai…uske sath mat ghooma kar… tu humari baat maan kyun nahi leta… teri sab ladayi uski vazah se hoti hai”

“mom… aapko pata hai, main pichhale kayi dino se soch raha tha ki Aisi kya vazah ho sakti hai… jiske karan aap sab Varun se itna nafrat karte ho… mera matlab Varun , Vipin bhaiya ke un sabhi langoor dosto se laakh guna acha hai…jinke sath baithkar Vipin bhaiya Government school ke peechhe cigarette peete hai… kabhi Vipin bhaiya ke dosto par gaur kiya hai…? unke dost bus stand me ladkiyo ko chhedte hai…unse gali khate hai aur gali khane ke baad daant dikha kar haste hai…atleast Varun aisa toh nahi karta. Papa aapko pata hai ki nahi par Varun bhaiya ki ek girlfriend hai… jiska name toh abhi mujhe yaad nahi par main aapko baad me bataunga… in dono ko maine apne hee ghar me kiss karte hue dekha hai… isliye mujhse nazar hatao aur apne idol bete ki fikra karo…”

“Vipin tu ye sab karta hai… aise logo ke sath ghoomta hai… “Vipin bhaiya ko jordar hadkate hue papa ne kaha aur main intezaar karne laga ki abhi…bas abhi jaise mujhe do thappad pade waisich papa Vipin bhaiya ke bhi gaal laal kar denge…. Lekin unhone Vipin bhaiya ko kuch nahi kiya… even thik dhang se fatkar tak nahi lagayi…. 

“mujhe do diya hai…bhaiya ko kam se kam ek toh banta hai papa”

“tu bilkul chup rah aur Vipendra ye sab karta hai, iska matlab ye nahi ki tu bhi ye sab karega….samjha…aaj ke baad yadi tu mujhe Varun ke sath dikha toh soch lena Arman…puri 206 haddiya tod dunga teri”

“darasal, main ab puri tarah samajha ki aap sab Varun se itna nafrat kyun karte ho…ab mujhe iska reason samajh me aaya hai…aap log Varun se nafrat karte ho kyunki uski family humse jyada paisewali hai… uske dad ki pahuch aapse jyada hai aur school ke har function me aapse pahle Varun ke papa ka samman kiya jata hai… isiliye aap sab Varun se nafrat karte hai…nahi ye sahi word nahi rahega…nafrat nahi…nafrat nahi….jalna…ye word perfect rahega…. Aap sab Varun se jalte ho kyunki unki family humari family se jyada powerful hai… common dad, grow up”

“teri himmat kaise hui dad ki insult karne ki…”Vipin bhaiya apni jagah se uthe aur mujhe marne ke liye apna hath utha liya…

“last time tujhe school me bola tha na be… ki yadi tune ab aage se mujhpar kabhi hath bhi uthaya toh MAA KASAM zinda gaad dunga…. Remember…theoretically samajh nahi aaya lagta hai, practically samjhana padega”Vipin bhaiya ka hath pakad kar unhe peechhe dhakka dete hue maine kaha

aur mere aisa karte hee mere papa ne meri jo thukayi start ki wo bahut der tak chali aur usi thukayi ke dauran ek scene aisa aaya jisme mujhe marte hue mere papa achanak rook gaye… bole toh same wahich situation jo kuch der pahle school ke main gate se nikalte waqt thi…ek baar phhir se mere charo taraf ke drishya bahut tezi se badalne laga…aur abki baar mera sar bhi ghoomne laga… mujhe aisa laga ki mujhe chakkar aa rahe hai aur jab ye changing khatm hui toh main wapas apne school ke basketball court me tha…. Lekin abki baar waha main akela nahi tha…waha koyi match chal raha tha aur main, Varun ke sath waha court ke bahar baitha us match ka anand le raha tha….

“tera sar kaisa hai, kafi chot lagi hai tujhe aur lawde tu has kyun raha hai… waise thanks…tu beech me nahi aata toh jo zakhm abhi tere body par hai wo mere body pe hote”

“sirf sar wala hota, baaki face wala bapu ne diya tha…kal sham ko…”

“tere baap ne tujhe itne bure tarike se mara…?”chauk kar mere chehre ke nishan ko dekhte hue Varun ne kaha “Arman, tu apne baap par case kar de… main apne baap se baat karu…?”

“yes…basket… apni team ab haar jayegi… yes…woooh… salo ne mujhe ye bolkar team me nahi liya tha ki main cricket me dhyan doon…ab lawda le le, school wale…. District level me hee sale bahar ho jayenge…”

“tune jawab nahi diya , tu bole toh apne baap se tere baap ke baare me baat karu…”

“kis baare me… yessss…. Opponent team ne phhir se basket kiya…”

“wahi tere baap ke upar police case ke baare me…”

“the more pain we feel, stronger we become… par main kabhi-kabhi sochta hoon ki…. yar, zindagi kitni simple hoti yadi hum family ke chutiyape me nahi padte toh…. tujhe kya lagta hai kaun jeetega…aaj ka match”

“tu kab se itna interest lene laga basketball me… jaha tak main tujhe jaanta hoon uske hisab se toh tu…..”

“if you think you know, you don’t know me at all…”Varun apni baat puri kar pata uske beech me hee maine kaha “dekh beta… ye cricket-vricket toh koyi bhi khel leta hai… lekin yadi ladkiyo ko impress karna hai toh basketball type ka game khelna shuru kar de… jis-se Reema toh kya uski badi bahan Seema bhi tujhse pat jayegi…”baithe-baithe ecliars chocolate khate hue maine Varun se kaha…. “is game me bahut rola hai, zara dekh kaise wo tujhse bhi badsurat launda basketball khelte hue smart lag raha hai…”

“bol toh sale aise raha hai… jaise khud bahut bada shurma ho is khel ka aur pachaso ladkiya pata rakhi ho… ”

“toh shurma ban jaunga…main jab bhi is game ko dekhta hoon toh , aisa lagta hai jaise main isi ke liye bana hoon… padhai toh main befaltu kar raha hoon… matlab mere andar se mujhe ahsaas hota hai ki main bahut achchha basketball khel sakta hoon… seriously , mujhe iske sapne bhi aate hai… jisme main toofan ki tarah basketball khelta hoon…ab pata nahi wo main hee rahta hoon ya koyi aur…. aur tu yakin nahi karega ki maine kabhi TV par is game ka ek match nahi dekha ,kabhi is game ki rulebook nahi padhi….lekin mujhe iske pure niyam maloom hai…ye game mere andar default app ki tarah hai….”

“aur wo kaise…”

“abhi bataya toh ki main sapne me ye game khelta hoon…bas wahi se… ab mera tujhse ek sawal hai….Varun kya tujhe basketball court hilta hua dikhayi de raha hai…”

“nahi toh…”

“chal phhir…… milte hai…..kuch din baad ya phhir…… kuch mahine baad ”khada hokar Varun se hath milate hue maine kaha “good byyyyee aur…….. Sonam ki maa ka bhosda…”

Maine Varun se itna kaha aur meri aankh apne aap ek pal ke liye band hui aur phhir dusare hee pal turant meri aankh khuli….as expected main Vandana Rathi ke gardan me gira pada tha…..

Chapter-18: Police at the door

“finally… bahar aa hee gaya… aaj toh sar hee ghoomne laga tha…”khada hote hue main bola aur langda-langda kar Vandana Rathi ki boundary kood kar apne flat me aaya…

“aakhir meri jump success kyun nahi ho rahi hai… upar se ek-do din ke liye phhir book ho gaya…wo toh bhala ho ki maine helmet pahan rakha tha…warna sar foot jata. Anyway… bolo Shri Arman ki…..”

“jai…”
.

Apne flat me aakar maine apna laptop khola aur Nagpur ke ex-mla Sidharth Singh Bairangi se related news google me search karne laga…jisme mujhe pata chala ki paanch din pahle Bairangi ji ke bête Rajak Singh Bairangi ki taalab me doobne se maut ho gayi thi… ye news mere liye shocking thi… mere liye ye news jitni shocking thi utni hee Bairangi ji ke liye dukhdayi… so sad.

Maine turant apne bistar par khade hokar Bairangi ji ke bete ki atma ki shanti ke liye do minute ka maun dharan kiya aur phhir apna maun todne ke baad maine detail me news padhi…. Jis-se mujhe pata chala ki Bairangi ji ka beta apne kuch dosto ke sath Nagpur se outer me bane ek mandir me ghoomne gaya tha aur Jab uske dost mandir ke andar hee the toh Bairangi ji ka launda josh-josh me taalab me nahane utar gaya aur phhir wapas nahi aaya…
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Thoda aur detail me padhne par mujhe pata chala ki Rajak ko saans ki bimari thi aur shayad jab wo gahre paani me tha tab saans lene me kathinayi ke karan wo tair kar bahar nahi aa paya aur jaha se phhir yumdooto ne use waha se bahar nikal kar apne sath le gaye the… maine is news pe aur chhan-been ki tab mujhe pata chala ki Bairangi ji ki biwi ko ye khabar milte hee heart attack aaya tha…par filhal wo ab thik hai…lekin unka mansik santulan thik nahi hai aur ilaaz zari hai…

“Bairangi ki toh baj gayi… ye meri kya madad karega. khair abhi thermodynamic ka ek chapter khatm kar leta hoon…aaj waise bhi kuch nahi padha .” 
.

Bairangi ka masla band karke maine pdf khola aur jitni der tak padh sakta tha padhta raha aur jab padhte-padhte mera sar ghoomne laga aur aankh jalne lagi toh main wahi laptop ko kinare karke let gaya… lekin tabhi kisi ke sparsh ne mere rongte khade kar diye….

“Aradhna…. Abhi main bahut thaka hua hoon… please thodi der baad aakar darana…”apni aankh band kiye hue maine kaha

“lao…sir. Main aapka sar daba deti hoon…”

“ok…no problem… pata nahi in sabse kab mukti milegi… thoda dheere daba, sar fod degi kya… kya main pagal ho gaya hoon ? koyi hai, jo iska jawab de sake… koyi mahan purush ?”

“jawab toh bahut log de denge…sir…lekin aap unki baat manoge nahi…”mera sar dabate hue Aradhna boli…

“tu marne ke baad bhi yaha hai…kyun ? kya tu mujhe marne aayi hai…”

“iska jawab toh mujhe bhi nahi pata sir… main yaha aayi kyunki aapne mujhe bulaya… aap akele the ,isliye aapne mujhe yaha bula liya…”

“chal maine tujhe bulaya… lekin tu aayi kyun. Tu toh sab janti hai ki main kitna bura insaan hoon aur sabse jyada dukh toh maine tujhe hee diya hai…phhir bhi tu mere bulane pe aa gayi… kyun ?”

“pyar achchhayi ya burayi nahi dekhta sir… aap ab bhi Esha se pyar karte ho…ye jaante hue bhi ki ab aap use zindagi me dobara nahi dekh paoge… “

“love is not lovable… ye hum dono hee jaante hai… by the way…thanks. Mujhe ab neend aa rahi hai. Good Night”

“good night sir…”

“ise aise nahi bolte… pahle good bol phhir half second ka gap phhir Night…. Good Night, just like hence proved…is-se feeling aati hai…. Matlab sunne walo ko aisa lagta hai jaise ki is duniya me koyi toh aisa hai, jo uski bhalayi chahta hai… phhir chahe meri tarah ye uska vaham hee kyun na ho”

“Good Night…sir”
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Subah meri neend darwaje par kisi ke dastak dene se khuli… koyi bahut der se mere flat ka darwaja peet raha tha… pahle toh maine ignore kiya lekin jab darwaje par dastak nahi rooki toh main majburan apne bed se utha aur uthkar sabse pahle ek glass paani pani piya aur phhir mootne bathroom me ghusa…Is dauran bahar khada manushya mere flat ka gate lagatar peet-ta raha…

“aa raha hoon be… thoda sabra kar…”bolkar main bathroom se nikla aur bedroom me ghusa… waha maine goggle lagaya aur phhir ek cigarette jalakar do-teen kash mare aur phhir jakar gate khola….mere samne jo shaks is samay khada tha use dekhkar mere mann me kayi sawal uthne lage the aur mere mann me uthne wale un sawalo ke beech us shaks ne mujhse puchha…

“aple nav ”usne puchha shayad Marathi me…

“ name ? Shri Arman Version 3.0”

“Version aapka surname hai…”

“ sorry… aap kaun ?”

“vardi dekh kar samajh nahi aa raha kya… Police”

“police….”use upar se neeche dekhkar maine khud se kaha “kahi in logo ko kal raat wale kaand ki khabar toh nahi lag gayi… ? lekin wo ladke mujhe pahchan kaise gaye… maine toh apna chehra dhak kar rakha hua tha….”

“kya tumne apne aas-paas kisi aise ko dekha hai… jo tumhe ajeeb laga ho…”

“haan ,dekha hai…”

“kaun tha wo aur kaisa dikhta tha wo…”

“bilkul tumhari tarah… tumhari tarah police ki vardi pahne hue tha… tumhari tarah mujhe neend se jaga kar mujhse un-necessary ke sawal puchh raha tha aur uski vardi me bhi wahi name likha tha jo tumhari vardi me likha hai…I think ,wo tum hee ho”

“kaye re… Tu maskari karatoyasa”thoda gusse se us policewale ne mujhse kaha… jis par mere bagal wale flat yani ki E-5 se ek aawaz mere kaan me pahuchi... 

“kya re Shiva Prasad…itnaa chilla kyun raha hai…”

“kahi vishes nahi, sir… ye,khali fokat me maskari raha hai…”

“idhar lekar aa use…”dusari taraf se aawaz aayi…jiske baad mere samne khade hawaldar ne mera ek hath pakda aur mujhe waha se le jaane ki koshish karne laga… lekin maine bhi apne ek hath se gate ke paas wali khidki me lagi rods ko pakad liya, jiske karan wo ek kadam bhi aage nahi badh paya…. huh

“mujhe dum dikha raha hai… janta hai na ki main police me hoon”

“toh….? ”apne kandhe uchkate hue maine kaha….

“tujhe maloom hai ki main tujhpar police se bezzati karne ke ilzam me andar kar sakta hoon…”

“mera sawal ab bhi wahi hai…..toh ?”

“Shriwas sir… ye nahi aa raha…”E-5 ki taraf muh karke bolte hue Shiva Prasad ne kaha… jiske kuch der baad hee double star se saji vardi pahne hue ek nauzwan mere flat me aaya…. Aur apne hawaldar se marathi me kuch puchhne laga….

“tum kya karte ho…”meri taraf dekh kar abki baar Shriwas ne puchha…

“gate nikalne ki taiyari me hoon main”apne ghar ke gate ko pakad kar jhoolte hue maine kaha “mera matlab…gate ki taiyari aur sath me naukri ki taalash… undercover agent ki zaroorat ho toh call karna”

“kya tumne is colony me kisi anjaan vyakti ko dekha hai… ya koyi aisa jispar tumhe shaq ho…”

“main yaha pichhale ek saal se bhi jyada samay se rah raha hoon lekin phhir bhi is colony ke sabhi log mere liye anjaan hai…I just hate everyone… toh main jaun.. mera matlab toh ab aap dono jao”peeche mudte hue maine kaha…lekin tabhi us inspector ne mera kandha pakda aur bola…

“abhi main kuch puchh raha hoon na…”

“mera name Arman hai… main pahle isi colony me apne ek dost ke sath rahta tha. Maine Nagpur aakar kayi companies me job ki lekin sabne mujhe mere kharab bartaav ke karan mujhe nikal diya… isliye maine ab socha hai ki mujhe koyi government job karni chahiye taaki mera future secure ho jaye…. Maine kal puri raat padhayi ki aur kuch der pahle hee soya tha ki tum logo ne aakar jaga diya… ab yadi aapki permission ho ,Shriwas sir… toh main jakar apni neend complete kar loon… kyunki mera sar is waqt kisi boiler ke mafiq bahut jyada garam hai aur yadi maine ise thanda nahi kiya toh ye fat jayega aur rahi baat kisi ajnabi ko jan-ne pahchan-ne ki toh main yaha sirf do logo ko janta hoon… ek toh Mr. Desai aur dusara Sidharth Singh Bairangi…. Actually Bairangi ji ne hee mujhe yaha room dilwaya hai... baki main kisi ko nahi janta. sooo…… get lost”

“kitna bolta hai be…”kutto jaisi shakl bana kar Shriwas bola “chal acha jaa aur dekh ke, kisi ne bagal wale flat ka kuch din pahle khidki tod diya tha aur kal raat koyi chori-chhupe uske ghar me bhi aaya tha, jiska helmet wahi chhoot gaya tha… be careful. Yaha pahle bhi bahut choriya ho chuki hai…”

“thank you… Mr. Shriwas.. main iska khayal rakhunga…”banawati muskan ke sath unhe vida karte hue maine darwaza band kiya aur goggle utarkar kaha “toh R.Rathi ne police bulwayi hai… main bhi kitna bada chodu hoon jo helmet uske garden me hee chhod diya tha… ab toh police raat me idhar round maregi… kahi mujhe pakad na le… warna kya jawab dunga ki… raat ko 2-3 baje main chhat koodne ki practice kar raha tha…?”

“why fear… when 2.0 is here…”

“chup be… tere chakkar me pada toh phhir se jail jaana padega .upar se ab koyi bachane wala bhi nahi hai…”

Main thodi der tak darwaje ke paas khada raha aur jab mujhe police jeep ke waha se jaane ki aawaz sunayi di toh maine ahiste se apna gate khola aur apna sar neeche karke bahar nikla aur E-5 & E-6 ki jo common boundary wall thi waha jakar neeche baith gaya…. Maine bahut der tak dusare taraf hone wali kisi bhi aawaz ko sunne ki koshish ki aur yahi karte hue taqriban 15-20 minutes tak main waha boundary wall ke paas baitha raha…. Mujhe nahi pata ki main aisa kyun kar raha tha. Lekin jab se police wale ne mere ghar me dastak di thi… mera dil joro se dhadak raha tha… mujhe dusari taraf se kayi aawaz sunayi di jaise ki kisi bartan ke girne ki aawaz… nal se pani girne ki aawaz… aur kisi gadi ke rukne ki aawaz….. maine dhyan se suna toh paya ki koyi gadi ruki aur uske thode der baad boundary ka gate khula. 

“Vandana Rathi akele rahti hai ya koyi aur bhi uske sath rahta hai… uthkar dekhta hoon ki kaun aaya hai… lekin yadi usne mujhe dekh liya toh… ?”

“toh kya… kya ukhad legi…”

“phhir dekhu…”

“yes…”

“thik hai phhir…” 

Maine wahi neeche baithe-baithe hee palti markar apna chehra Rathi ke flat ki taraf kiya aur dheere-dheere uthne laga aur boundary wall ki oot se chhipkar E-5 par ek nazar mari… waha bahar koyi nahi tha… lekin BC maine toh just abhi-abhi gate ke khulne ki aawaz suni aur E-5 ke bahar ek car bhi khadi hai, jo Vandana Rathi ki nahi hai… yani koyi toh aaya hai. Lekin kaun ? …….. wait. Par mujhe is-se kya…? Main toh Arman The Great hoon…Mujhe kya lena-dena ki Vandana Rathi se kaun-kaun milne aata hai…? Mera toh sirf ek hee maqsad hai… wo hai, iski maa chodna… jo main chod ke rahunga. 

“ab heartbeat normal hai… chal chalkar daru peete hai…”

seena taankar main bina dare khada hua aur jeebh me ungali fasakar do-teen tez seeti mari… lekin jab E-5 me koyi harqat nahi hui toh main wapas apne flat me ghus gaya aur mere dimag me jo is samay hot topic tha wo tha…Sidharth Singh Bairangi aur uska marhoom beta… maine dhada-dhad black dog ke teen peg mare aur bistar par 4 feet ki doori se kooda

“according to news… Bairangi ka ladka apne dosto ke sath ghoomne gaya tha. Aur wo asthama ka mariz bhi tha. Jiske karan tairate waqt jab wo mandir ke paas bane bade se taalab ke beecho-beech tha tab saans lene me dikkat hone ke karan wo doob kar mar gaya. Ye toh hai news ki story…. Dimag laga Arman… apna detective mode activate kar… is hatya ki gutthi ko suljha… ise aptitude ka question samajh aur solve kar de. Yadi tune ise solve kar diya toh tere liye naye darwaje khul jayenge…. Lekin kaise ? ise solve karne ke liye mujhe kuch logo ki details chahiye… jo mujhe police wale denge nahi aur Bairangi ji se yadi is bare me baat karunga toh wo mujhe jaan se marwa dega…. Lekin yahi ek raasta hai, jiske jariye main apne upar hone wale police case me Bairangi ki madad le sakta hoon. Ek kaam karta hoon… kuch din baad Bairangi ke paas jaunga. Phhir jo hoga dekha jayega”

Iske baad maine ek cigarette jalaya aur bistar se neeche hath jhulakar bina koyi kash liye Madhulika ke bare me soch-vichar karne laga…. 

“Madhulika… pata nahi kaisi aurat hai. Use dekhkar samajh hee nahi aata ki wo mujhe pasand karti hai ya nafrat…. Waise main chahta hoon ki wo mujhse nafrat kare… isiliye toh uske sath itna bura bartaav karta hoon. Lekin kuch bhi ho…uske sath maza bahut aata hai… jab main apna lund uske muh me deta hoon , jab main apna lund uske gaal par ragadta hoon toh bahut anand aata hai… us waqt aisa lagta hai jaise ki zindagi ka sara maza sirf lund chuswane me hai…”

Par zindagi ka sara maza sirf lund chuswane me nahi hai , logo ki gand marne me bhi hai aur ye maza tab aur badh jata hai, jab raat ho aur aapke hath me gun ho…isliye aadhi raat ko chehra dhak-kar hath me katta liye main NH-6 ke beech-o-beech khada tha….main kafi der tak waha sadak ke beech-o-beech shanti se khada raha aur jab thoda time ho gaya toh dimag me aaya ki , chalo ab dusara pose dete hai…. 
aaj yaha ka mahol kuch thanda-thanda sa tha mera matlab aaj bahut heavy vehicle nikal rahe the aur unse chhedkani karne ka mera koyi irada nahi tha…upar se police ki jeep bhi waha do round mar chuki thi. NH-6 me main bahut der tak road par ghoomta raha, sadak ke beech-o-beech khada hokar tarah-tarah ke pose marta raha aur jab mujhe mera shikar nahi mila toh wahi road se thodi door me baithkar apne escape plan ke baare me sochne laga ki yadi by chance police ne mujhe pakad liya ya mera peechha kiya toh main kya karunga, kidhar bhagunga…. main wahi sadak se thodi door jhadiyo ki oot me baitha aur ek patli si lakdi lekar zameen par apna escape root banana laga…

“maan lo ki north-south me NH-6 highway hai aur East-west ko alag karti hai.main is waqt East me baitha hoon aur highway ke dusari taraf yani ki west me meri colony hai.jiske thik samne highway ke dusari taraf jungle hai….ab yadi main jungle se thoda peechhe south directon me jaunga toh mujhe ek basti milegi…jaha wo do chor rahte hai, jinka saman maine loot liya tha.us basti ke thik samne sadak ke dusari taraf yani ke west wale portion me bhi ek basti hai aur uski aage ek river hai jo riverview colony aur us basti ko alag karti hai….chalo maan lo ki police ne mujhe abhi yahi par gher liya, tab main pahle seedhe jungle ki taraf bhagunga aur phhir jungle ke raaste hote hue choro ki basti me pahuch jaunga….waha ki galiyo me police ko chakma dekar road ke is paar bane basti me aaunga….phhir nadi me koodkar tairte hue nadi paar karunga aur river view colony me aakar E-6 me aaram karunga.mere daudne ki speed bahut jyada hai aur mera stamina bhi….is tarah police kabhi mujhe nahi pakad payegi aur yadi meri mathematics sahi hai toh police mere peechhe maximum choro ki basti tak hee aa payegi unless police ko mera pura plan pata ho ya phhir Shri usain bolt Maharashtra Police me join ho jaye. baki unka shaq mera peechha karte hue us choro ki basti me rahne wale logo par hee jayega.wo kabhi soch hee nahi payenge ki NH-6 ka sabse bada lootera River View Colony me rahta hai….par is-se ek fayda bhi hoga. choro ki basti me rahne wale kayi choro ka, jo NH-6 me loot-maar karte hai, unka police safaya kar degi…kitna risk leta hoon main is duniya ki bhalayi ke liye, lekin phhir bhi kisi ko meri kadra nahi hai…. idhar main yaha NH-6 me lambe-lambe kand karunga aur udhar police apne most wanted list ke choro ka safaya karegi…. phhir main NH-6 ka aakhiri lootera bachunga…lekin…ye lawda, kaun hai…. jo car se mootne utara hai… abhi pelta hoon ise, sala mujhe lund dikha raha hai”
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Update-61

Quote:
kitna risk leta hoon main is duniya ki bhalayi ke liye, lekin phhir bhi kisi ko meri kadra nahi hai…. idhar main yaha NH-6 me lambe-lambe kand karunga aur udhar police apne most wanted list ke choro ka safaya karegi…. phhir main NH-6 ka aakhiri lootera bachunga…lekin…ye lawda, kaun hai…. jo car se mootne utara hai… abhi pelta hoon ise, sala mujhe lund dikha raha hai”
Main abhi apna escape plan bana raha tha ki ek car mujhse thoodi door me ruki aur us car se ek aadmi mootne ke liye neeche utra, jise dekhkar mera rom-rom khushi se machal utha…wo aadmi jaha khada hokar moot raha tha, main ahiste-ahiste uske paas gaya aur peechhe se ek kohni uske sar par pura dum lagakar mara….

“sale, mujhe lund dikhata hai…”

“kaun hai be madarchod…teri bahan ka tana…bhadwe…”dard se apni aankhe band kar apna sar sahlate hue us aadmi ne mujhe pyar se kaha…

“tere ko bhi same dialogue…”katta nikal kar maine kaha “chal seedhe se apun ko apnda batau de”

“tujhe pata hai ki main kaun hoon...”

“dekh bidu, apun ka time khoti mat kar…warna abki baar goli marunga…”katta uspar taante hue maine kaha…jispar usne apne dono hath khade kar diye….wo kafi der tak aise hee apne hath hawa me kiye chup-chap khada raha aur main uske batau nikalne ka intezaar me tha

“wallet kaun tera baap nikalega…bosdike.jo kuch bhi tere jeb me hai na… wo sab kuch bahar kar de nahi toh is bandook ki sari goli main tere andar kar dunga…tu apun ko jaanta nahi abhi…”

“ok…ok….goli mat chalana please, main sab kuch deta hoon…”bolkar usne apne jeb ka sara saman nikal kar zameen par rakh diya…jisme kuch 100 ki aur 500 ke note the…usne apna mobile bhi neeche rakh diya tha….

“iPhone…par ye mujhe nahi chahiye…ise tu utha aur door fek…”

“par kyun….”

“taaki tu mere jaane ke baad kisi ko phone na laga sake…chal fek.”

“ok…ok”

“very good…ab pure paise utha kar mere hath me de aur yaad rahe koyi gand-masti nahi…koyi chalaki nahi.”use paise uthane ke liye bolkar maine us-se puchha 

“car me aur kaun hai…”

“car me…car me koyi nahi hai…”

“chodu mat bana…jhadi me chhipkar maine sab dekh liya tha ki tere aalawa bhi car me koyi hai…”

“wo meri biwi hai…”

“maal hai kya..”

“kya…”

“arey bosdike….tere biwi maal hai kya….”

“thodi-thodi…”kuch der sochne ke baad wo bola

“thik hai, phhir…apne gang ko bulata hoon, aaj maza hee aa jayega…”

“please , don’t do this.tumhe jo chahiye tha…wo toh maine tumhe de diya.tum kaho toh pure jewellery tumhe de du…lekin please meri biwi ko pareshan mat karna….”

“ek shart par…mera matlab ek sawal par, main teri biwi ko chodunga….i mean chhodunga”

“mujhe manzoor hai….”

“toh phhir ye bata ki Marvel wale IRON MAN 4 kyun nahi bana rahe, jabki wo unka sabse successful hero hai…tujhe gussa nahi aata kya ,ye dekhkar….ki side role karne wala Captain America , CIVIL WAR me iron man ko hara diya….i mean seriously…yar,main toh ye dekhkar suicide karne wala tha, lekin kyunki pirates of Caribbean ki fifth installment aa rahi hai isliye apna plan drop kar diya…chal mujhe reason bata ki Iron Man 4 kyu nahi aa rahi….warna teri biwi ke sath main ab tujhe bhi chodunga….”

“I don’t know…”apne dono hath mere samne jodte hue usne kaha “mujhe nahi pata,please hume jaane do….tum chaho toh sari jewellery le lo…paise le lo…lekin hume chhod do….please”

“bol ki tera favorite hero Robert Downey Jr. hai….”

“mera favorite hero Robert Downey Jr. hai…”

“ek aur baar bol…”

“mera favorite hero Robert Downey Jr. hai…”

Maine gun uski kanpatti par taani aur use car ki taraf chalne ke liye kaha…wo pahle toh bahut dheere-dheere chal raha tha lekin phhir maine jab use hadkaya toh uski speed thodi tez hui…wo car ke paas pahucha aur seat belt baandkar so rahi apni biwi ko dheere-dheere aawaz dekar uthane laga….lekin uski biwi thi ki uth hee nahi rahi thi….kuch der tak toh maine intezaar kiya ki… ab uthegi….ab uthegi lekin wo uthi hee nahi, upar se police ke aane ka dar ki kahi wo round par na aa jaye….

“itna dheere-dheere kyun bol raha hai be…tez se bol.mere paas itna hee kaam nahi hai bas….abhi jakar Thermodynamic ke do chapter bhi khatm karne hai…”

“Richa….Richa....”dheere se apni biwi ka name pukarte hue carwale ne apni biwi ko hilaya… lekin uski biwi Sali, abki baar bhi nahi uthi…

“ye Sali police se pakadwayegi….. tu hat samne se…”use dhakka dekar maine samne se hataya aur gehri neend me so rahi uski biwi ke gaal par jor se ek tamacha jad diya…jis-se wo sak-paka kar uthi…

“what rubbish…”neend se jagkar mujhe dekhte hue wo tez aawaz me boli, jispar maine apna ek hath khidki se andar dala aur ek tamacha aur mara…

“hiiii, main NH-6 ka Thug hoon…maine tumhare husband ke kanpatti me bandook taan rakhi hai aur jitni jaldi tum apni jewellery utar kar mujhe dogi,utni jaldi main tumhe yaha se jaane dunga…and please, no argument…. Warna teen din se mutth nahi mara hoon aur mera khada hai… upar se tera cleavage bhi mujhe dikh raha hai…got it ? now give it ?”

“Richa…ye jo mang raha hai, ise de do…”

“par Sumit, ye maine last week hee kharidi hai…”

“arey de de…main dobara kharid dunga…”

“ok…”

Car ke andar baithi us aurat ne apni puri jewellery mujhe de di.shuru-shuru me toh maine dhyan nahi diya par jab wo jewellery utar rahi thi tab maine use dhyan se dekha aur paya ki wo toh ekdum tanch maal hai aur kisi bhi angle se is chapadganju ki biwi nahi lagti….maine jewellery apne pocket me rakhi aur car ke aage wale tyre par goli chala kar bola…

“kya name hai be tera, idhar aa….”

“Sumit…”
“Sumit...huh, bakwas name.Sumit, tu khud ko dekh aur apni biwi ko dekh…sale kaha wo khoobsurat , tanaka maal aur kaha tu…takle. Tere jaise laundo ke karan hee mere jaise smart aur handsome ladke maal nahi pata pate…chal murga ban…”

“par tumhe jo chahiye tha, wo toh maine de diya…ab toh hume jaane do…”

“murga banta hai ya phhir teri biwi ka gang-bang karwau…chal ban jaldi murga…”
Use aadhi raat me beech sadak me murga banakar maine uski biwi ki taraf apna rookh kiya aur bola

“dekho janeman tum bahut dhansu dikhti ho aur privacy ki vazah se main apna chehra tumhe nahi dikha sakta…par tum ye jaan lo ki main bhi ekdum dhansu dikhta hoon..is takle ko chhodo aur mere type kisi hoshiyar ladke ko fasao….ye bahut fattu hai aur mujhe offer de raha tha ki ise chhodne ke badle me ye mujhe tumhare sath sex karwa sakta hai…lekin jab maine mana kar diya toh ye itna neeche gir gaya ki isne apni gand ka bhi mujhe offer de diya…isliye is gandmare ko chhod dena…bye…aur ek baat police ko mat batana ki main yaha se thodi door choro ki basti me rahta hoon aur mere hatho ke beech-o-beech chaku ghusne ka nishan hai… mere gang me do log hai… please ye sab baate police ko mat batana….”
______________________________

Chapter-19: The Game of doors

There are two exits in my home but I often get confused that which one is beginning and which one is ending……..

Kal raat ki loot ke baad dusare din main subah utha aur kal raat ke kand ko yaad karte hue bahar ka darwaza khola, par wo darwaza bahar jaane ka nahi tha..wo toh bathroom ka darwaza tha. apni galti ka ahsaas hone par maine bathroom ka darwaza band kiya aur main gate ki taraf chalkar bahar jane wala gate khola….

“arey yar, ye toh kitchen ka darwaza hai….tera dimag kaha hai…”

“sorry….sorry….”khud se maafi mafte hue main peechhe ghooma aur phhir finally apne flat ka main gate khola…

“abey andha hai kya…ye toh bedroom ka darwaza hai…kya chutiyapa kar raha hai.dimag kaha hai tera…”

“ sorry…again”

Maine bedroom ka darwaza band kiya aur phhir waha se bahar aakar ek naya gate khola…par wo darwaza bhi mere flat ka main gate nahi tha…maine phhir se apne bathroom ka gate khol diya tha….maine phhir se use band kiya aur dusara gate khola..

“ye toh kitchen hai…next wala pakka main gate hoga…”

“fuck…ye toh phhir se main bedroom me pahuch gaya…”

Aur aisa bahut der tak repeat hota raha…main, bahar wale gate ko kholne ke chakkar me baar-baar kabhi bathroom ka gate kholta toh kabhi kitchen ka aur phhir lautkar wahi pahuch jata, jaha se main chala tha…yaani ki bedroom me…phhir jab maine ispar gaur kiya aur phhir apna dimag lagaya toh mujhe pata chala ki ye sab kuch sequence me ho raha hai…pahle bathroom…phhir kitchen aur aakhiri me bedroom.main bahut der tak isi chakkar me apne flat ke andar ghoomta raha aur bahar jaane ka gate dhoondhata raha…par wo muhjhe nahi mila…

“lagta hai, yaha se bahar jaane ka koyi gate hee nahi hai…”

“achchha…toh phhir Ganga-Jamuna kya gand ke raaste gaya tha…”

“mere khayal se maine yaha teleport karne ka system bana liya hoga”

“chup be chutiye…aur bahar jaane ka raasta dhoondh…mujhe ab andar ghutan ho rahi hai”

“mera bhi dum ghut raha hai…”lambi-lambi saanse bharkar maine kaha “actually , mujhe yaad nahi ki bahar jaane ka darwaza kaun sa hai…par mere paas ek plan hai…”

“kaise plan…”

“abhi maine bedroom ka darwaa khola tha….hai na”

“wo bedroom nahi…bathroom tha…”

“wo bathroom tha ? no problem…toh ab jo main next darwaza kholunga…wo sequence ke according kitchen hoga…”agla darwaa kholkar main bola “see…ye kitchen hai aur ab agla darwaza jise main main gate samajh kar kholunga wo mujhe bedroom le jayega…..”

“toh…ye toh phhir se repeat hua..tera plan kaha hai…?”

“bedroom pahuchkar waha se main ek marker pen uthaunga aur har darwaje par likh dunga ki wo kaha jane ka darwaja hai…”

Bedroom me ghuskar maine marker pen uthaya aur bedroom wale gate par BDR likha…isi tarah maine bathroom ke darwaje par BTR aur kitchen ke darwaje par KTCHN likha aur phhir pure flat me ek nazar mari toh mujhe do darwaje aise dikhe jispar kuch nahi likha hua tha…jisme se ek flat ke agwade me khulta tha toh dusara pichhwade me….

“woh…finally… bahar aa hee gaya…Sonam ki maa ki choot, David ki maa ka bhosda…pura dimag hila diya isne…ab thoda achchha lag raha hai”goggle lagakar maine kaha aur chhat par jakar apna headache kam karne ke liye dhada-dhad cigarette peene laga…….ddc, just found new abbreviation - dhada-dhad cigarette just like ddg- dhada dhad goal.

“kal raat jo maal udaya hai, wo 2-3 lakh ka toh hoga hee…khamkha main aaj tak naukri dhoondhane me laga hua tha…. ye dhandha set hai apun ka…”

“ab aage kya…bechega kaha usko…”

“Daddu hai na, tujhe kya lagta hai ki meri koyi planning nahi hai…beta tu soch bhi nahi sakta ki main kya-kya soch sakta hoon…Daddu mere chori ke maal ko bechne ka kaam karega….”

“Daddu tera sath isliye de raha hai kyunki tune use 100 katta kharidne ka vaada kiya hai yaanki ki 15 lakhs .jis din Daddu ko maloom chala ki tu use chutiya bana raha hai us din tera kya hoga…. wo din tera aakhiri din hoga”

“wo din mera nahi Daddu ka aakhiri din hoga aur Ganga-Jamuna walo ko Daddu se mukti mil jayegi...mahan log aise hee hote hai, wo bura bhi kare toh kuch na kuch achchha ho hee jata hai…”

“good…phhir Ganga-Jamuna ke log tujhe Arman The Great ke name se janenge….”

“sounds khool…”
.

“Arman tummm…..aur yaha E-6 me”

“ye teri aawaz ko kya hua…laundiyo jaisi aawaz kyun sunayi pad rahi hai mujhe…”maine mann hee mann me khud se kaha

“oh hello, main tumse baat kar rahi hoon…”

“iski maa ka…ye toh koyi external object ki dhwani hai…”badbadate hue main aawaz ki taraf muda aur jaise hee saamne dekha mere pairo tale zameen khisak gayi I mean mere pairo tale chhat khisak gayi… mere samne yani ki E-5 ki chhat me Vandana Rathi full shocked hokar meri taraf dekh rahi thi….jispar maine bhi shoked hone ka natak kiya…maine apni aankhe thodi badi ki, thoda sa apna muh khola aur chehre par shocked wala expression lakar bola…

“Vandana mam, aap yaha rahti hai…? E-5 me…?what a pleasant surprice…I mean, kamal hee ho gaya na ki…. jis-se main itni nafrat karta hoon wo mere bagal me rahti hai…”

“mind your language…”

“mind your business…”aadhi jali cigarette Vandana Rathi ke chhat par fek-kar maine kaha aur phhir usi ke saamne do cigarette nikala aur dono ko ek sath jalakar ek sath hee dono cigarette ka kash mara aur dhua chhodkar Vandana Rathi ki taraf dekha “dekha mera stunt… Good Morning”

“it’s afternoon…”

“kya fark padta hai, main toh good night me bhi Good Morning bol deta hoon…mere liye kya subah aur kya sham…mere liye ye samay koyi mayne nahi rakhta.main chahu toh time ko extend kar sakta hoon…reduce kar sakta hoon even kuch pal ke liye rok bhi sakta hoon…main ab tum logo ki tarah ordinary nahi hoon, main ab 4 dimensional ho gaya hoon…you ordinary, three dimensional people in short, main hee samay hoon….waise,aaj aap kaam pe nahi gayi”

“aaj Sunday hai"

"sunday ? kya fark padta hai..ki aaj sunday hai ya monday, jab se aapne meri naukri chhudwayi hai...tab se mera har din funday hai"

"aur tum samay ho matlab…main kuch samjhi nahi”

“ye sab psychological baate hai , aap nahi samjhogi…”

“main ab bhi kuch nahi samjhi….”

“dekha…maine kaha tha na ki kuch nahi samjhogi… anyway,jo main kahna chahta hoon wo ye ki…time….time is the most powerful weapon of mankind and we are wasting it by doing 9 to 5 job…? apne aas-paas dekhiye, mam… sab yaha kya kar rahe hai… aapko kya lagta hai ki bhagwan ne insano ko isliye banaya taaki wo 9 to 5 job kar sake…?” 

“tum bhagwan par yakin nahi karte, hai na… are you an atheist”

“I’m not an atheist. I believe in god because I always need someone whom I can blame for my bad deeds..for my bad decisions and guess what, he never said a word… not a single word... he never got frustrated, he never abused me back…. So I analysed these data and got a result…”

“interesting and what was the result…”

“the result”

“hmm…the result, what was the result…”

“the result was……..God is either very kind or very cruel”

Aur meri ye line sunkar Vandana Rathi jaha thi, jaise thi… waise hee rahi. Mano uske liye samay rook gaya ho, usne mujhe jo dekhna chalu kiya toh bahut der tak dekhti rahi… jis-se mujhe shaq hua ki kya main abhi itna smart dikh raha hoon ya phhir Vandana Rathi bhi meri tarah 4th dimensional me badal rahi hai ? main thodi der tak intezaar karta raha ki…Vandana Rathi ab normal hogi…ab normal hogi…ab normal hogi… lekin wo toh normal ho hee nahi rahi thi… pata nahi mere dialogue me aisa kyat ha, wo toh maine aise hee bol diya tha aur phhir Vandana mam ko wapas lane ke liye maine Vandana mam ko dekhkar aankh mari…jiska asar unpar hua aur wo wapas vartman me aayi…

“sorry, wo aapko wapas present me lane ke liye aankh mari thi… its apun’s style”

“no problem… tum kuch kah rahe the”

“main kah raha tha ki jisko dekho wo paise kamane ki hod me hai…yadi aapke paas paise hai toh gali ka kutta bhi aapki izzat karega aur yadi aapke paas paise nahi hai toh phhir aapke maa-baap ke liye aapke aur us gali ke kutte me bhi koyi fark nahi rahega… anyway… main chiz toh batana bhool hee gaya …wo main tha jisne aapke ghar ka kaanch toda aur mera hee helmet aapke flat ke garden me mila tha… uske liye sorry…mera helmet wapas kar dena… thank you and good day”
.

Vandana Rathi ke samne badi-badi baate karke aur use confuse karke main neeche aaya.mera hamesha se aisa manna hai ki yadi ladki ko patana hai toh use confuse kar do… is-se wo jyada attract hoti hai, jiska best example Nisha thi….maine use patane me kuch khas nahi kiya… humari bas chhoti-chhoti mulaqat hui aur wo mujhse confuse hote-hote mujhse pat gayi… Nisha chahe kaisi bhi rahi ho par thi bahut cute…aksar bolte rahti thi ki marne ke baad hum dono swarg jayenge aur waha ice-cream khayenge… ab use kaun bataye ki swarg ka mera patta toh kayi saal pahle hee kat chuka hai…. chhat se neeche aane ke baad jab mujhe realize hua ki maine Rathi ko kya bola tab main dua karne laga ki Vandana Police ko na bataye….sala flow-flow me jo muh me aaya sab bol gaya…

Mere flat me bahar nikalne ke do raste the…ek aage wala aur ek peechhe wala aur abhi main waha un dono darwaje ke ekdum beech-o-beech khada hokar ye soch raha tha ki bahar jaane wala kaun sa hai matlab saamne ki taraf bahar jaane wala kaun sa hai….mere pure flat me kul 5 darwaje the jisme se teen par maine marker pen se marking kar di thi aur ab aise do hee darwaje bache the jinpe maine marking nahi ki thi aur wo dono hee flat se bahar le jaate the…….. shayad.

par sawal ye tha ki unme se aage wala kaun sa hai aur peechhe wala kaun sa hai aur dusara sawal jo hai wo ye ki main aaj itna confuse kyun ho raha hoon…kahi ye kal raat do baar mutth marne ka side effect toh nahi….par kal raat toh maine mutth mara hee nahi…ya mara tha ? kamal hai, aisi chize main kaise bhool sakta hoon, wo bhi jab do baar kiya ho tab ? 

“ek minute…abhi check karta hoon…”bolkar maine bf me mobile chalaya…mobile me bf chalaya aur uske according jaisa mere body ka reaction tha , us-se main is conclusion par pahucha ki kal raat maine mutth….

“mara tha…ab sure hai”

Aur ye sure karne ke baad mere samne phhir se wahi sawal tha ki in do gate me se kaun sa beginning hai aur kaun sa ending…

“abey gate khol kar dekh kyun nahi leta ki kaun sa beginning hai aur kaun sa ending….”

“no…never…yadi main aisa karunga toh mere fans meri kabiliyat par shaq karenge…isliye mujhe is mystery ko dimag ke through hee solve karna padega…mujhe sochne de…main just abhi-abhi main gate se andar aaya hoon yani ki peeche wala darwaja beginning hai…wait…flat ke andar aakar main kitchen me ghusa tha aur phhir ek glass pani peekar yaha khada ho gaya…yani ki mere peeche wala darwaja beginning nahi, balki ending hai…par mujhe aisa kyun lag raha hai ki kitchen se paani peene ke baad main bathroom bhi gaya tha…uske according toh mere peeth ke peechhe wale darwaje ko beginning hee hona chahiye…bahut confusion hai yar….kaise solve karu ise…koyi formula…koyi concept”apna sar masalte hue main apne dimag ko check karne laga aur tabhi mere dimag ki batti jali….

“arey lawda….kitchen ke paas wala darwaja is flat ka ant hai…bhool gaya kya. Itni mamooli si baat sochane me itna time ”

“aakhirkar…darwajo ka ye khel khatm hua….”deewar par khud ke banaye calendar par marker se aaj ki tareekh par gola lagate hue maine kaha… “time table ke mutabiq mujhe abhi khana khakar padhna chahiye….par aaj mood nahi hai…aaj khud ko rest deta hoon. Ek kaam karta hoon…thodi der so jata hoon…dimag ko thoda aaram milega toh thoda thik rahega…”

Ye sochkar main bistar par 6 feet ki doori se thik waise hee kooda jaise ek baar aur kooda tha aur sone ki taiyari karne laga. maine apni aankhe band ki aur universe ke baare me kalpanye karne laga ki bahut sare planet , asteroids mere aas-paas ghoom rahe hai…maine apni galaxy cross ki aur phhir waha side me jo choot ke shape ki dusari galaxy thi usme ghusne ka socha aur main abhi us choot ke shape wali galaxy me ghus hee raha tha ki wo galaxy behanchod hilne lagi, Sali attitude dikha rahi thi mujhe….us galaxy se waisi aawaz aayi jaise kisi chiz ko thokne se aati hai….

“arey jhat…koyi room ka darwaja khatkhata raha hai”

“ye le…itni mushqil se sone ka plan bana tha aur isne sab kuch kharab kar diya…par wait kahi koyi chor hua toh…apni gun peechhe chhipa leta hoon aur kuch gadbad hui toh thaaayyye se goli maar dunga ”bistar se uthkar maine kaha
Maine gun apne kamar me khosi aur dheere-dheere flat ka main gate khola, acha hua..is baar confuse nahi hua….

“arey lawda ye toh ending wala hai…”

Main turant waha se peechhe muda aur main gate khola…Saamne Vandana Rathi khadi thi.uske chehre par is samay chudayi wala koyi expression nahi tha… wo ekdum shant khadi thi…pata nahi, wo yaha kyun aayi thi, par use dekhte hee meri nazar uske tann seene par padi….

“doodh…chay piyega ?”apne mann me main cheekha

“Arman… tumne dekha ya nahi par humne, tumhe apology letter bheja tha aur tumse dobara Sharda Enterprises join karne ke liye request bhi ki thi, lekin tumne koyi jawab nahi diya….main toh yaha tak tumhare flat A-3 me bhi gayi thi par mujhe tumhare dost ne bataya ki tum ye shahar chhod kar ja chuke ho aur phhir aaj maine tumhe yaha dekha….”

Chapter-20: Time loop

“you’re late, mam.ab toh main time wala dialogue maar chuka hoon…isliye ab main dobara Sharada Enterprises toh join nahi kar sakta”

“humne tumhe 10 din pahle email kiya tha…”

“dekha nahi…waise bhi kya fark padta hai… main in sab kaamo ke layak nahi hoon.aapne achchha hua jo mujhe nikal diya….idhar aapne mujhe nikala, udhar usi din mera meri girlfriend Nisha ke sath breakup hua... jo ki thik hua.All Credit goes to you and 2.0”

“tum layak nahi the….? Tumhare baad jo design engineer aaya tha, wo bahut hee kharab tha…uski designing me bahut jyada errors aa rahi thi.isliye humne use change kiya…par dusara jo aaya uski designing toh perfect hai lekin ek file ko complete karne me use teen din lag rahe hai…jabki tumne teen file ek din me complete kar di thi….isiliye mere senior ne mujhse kaha ki main tumhe apology letter bheju aur tumhe wapas bulau…..”

“toh aap ye kahna chahti hai ki Sharda Enterprises ko meri zaroorat hai…”

“haan…”

“toh aap ye kahna chahti hai ki Sharda Enterprises me mujhse achchha design engineer koyi nahi hai…”

“haan…”

“toh iska matlab aap ye kahna chahti hai ki main sabse mahan hoon ”

“haan….nahi…ye mahan kaha se aa gaya”

“just fishing in troubled waters…main toh bas benefit le raha tha…aapko soch ke batata hoon…”

“kab tak me…”

“aaj sham tak me…ya phhir kal sham tak me ya phhir parso sham tak me”

“thik hai phhir…bye…”peechhe mudkar waha se jaate hue Rathi boli…nahi, actually pahle boli, phhir peechhe mudi aur phhir gayi…literally

“BC…randi.lund khada karke chali gayi…”
.

Without sex life is just like Marvel without Iron Man or DC without Batman(Christopher Nolan wala…other sucks ) aur isi liye Vandana Rathi ne jo mera lund khada kiya toh use wapas baithane ke liye main Ganga-Jamuna aa gaya….par pahle main Daddu ke paas pahucha…waise bhi lawda phone kar-karke dimag khaye ja raha tha ki ‘deal pakki hai na’.actually wo dimag kam kha raha tha, dhamki jyada de raha tha ki yadi maine use dhokha diya toh meri aisi taisi kar dega… anyway, wo aaj bhi apne jhat jaise cabin me baithkar kisi se phone me baat kar raha tha.mujhe aata Dekh wo muskuraya aur mujhe baithne ka ishara kiya….

“us madarchod ko bol ki apni aukat me rahe warna main uske pure khandan ki aurato ko ganga-jamuna me randi bana kar unse dhandha karwaunga….”
Itna bolkar Daddu thodi der ke liye chup hua aur phhir phone par cheekhte hue bola…

“Vidhayak hoga ,wo apne ghar ka… usko bolna ki Daddu ke paas aaj bhi wo randi hai jiske sath wo dus saal pahle maje kiye karta tha…ek minute lagega mujhe uski party ki maa chodne me…bhaidchod….mujhe Ajmeri bai ke kothe ki sari randiya wapas chahiye aur sath me uska name bhi jisne police ko ye bataya ki Ajmeri bai ke kothe me maine katta chhupa rakha hai….use aur uske pure pariwar ko nanga karke beech chaurahe me goli nahi mari toh mera name bhi Daddu nahi…Ganga-jamuna meri jaagir hai. main jab chahu, jaise chahu, jo chahu wo main karunga…koyi gunda yaha apna laad nahi hilayega aur yadi hilaya toh main uska lund kaatkar uske maa-bahan ke gand me dal dunga aur tu mera jaldi se ye kaam kar warna main teri bhi maa chodunga, samjha”bolkar Daddu shant hua aur dusari oor jo aadmi tha, uski baat sunne laga

“haan..ye ki na mardo wali baat…15 minute ke andar mujhe meri randiya mere kothe par wapas chahiye…ab phone rakh”
phone rakhkar daddu thodi der ke liye shant hokar idhar-udhar dekhta raha aur phhir mujhse mukhatib hokar bola….

“sala dhandha karna mushqil kar diya hai,in policewalo ne…. jab se ye Bairangi ka naya paltu kutta S.P. aaya hai na, gand me baans kiye baitha hai.”

“life is like physics Daddu bhai…”apne jeb se mobile nikalte hue maine kaha

“kya…..kya.kya…….kya”

“fucking illiterate”apne mobile ka lock kholkar whatsapp par messege check karte hue main bola“dusare tareeke se samjhata hoon…life me un logo ko bilkul bhi allow mat karo, jinka role jyada important nahi hai”

“kahna kya chahta hai tu…”

“no problem.teesare tareeke se samjhata hoon…. Mujhe maloom hai ki wo kaun hai…jisne police ko ye khabar di ki Ajmeri bai ke khoobsurat kothe me jo ki ganga-jamuna ki aan-baan aur shaan hai…waha aapne gun smuggling ka maal rakha hua hai…”

“tujhe kaise pata ki Ganga-Jamuna me police ki raid padi hai…wo bhi Ajmeri ke kothe me”

“jaisa ki maine pahle bhi kaha hai ki na toh aap chutiya ho aur na hee main… main jiske liye yaha deal kar raha hoon…wo bahut bada aadmi hai, he is the biggest, the greatest and the deepest… use sab pata rahta hai, phhir chahe wo yaha ho ya na ho aur rahi baat yaha raid padne ki toh main hamesha Itwari ke red light area se ek kilometer pahle utarta hoon aur sabse pahle jayja leta hoon ki yaha kya ho raha hai…phhir idhar entry marta hoon. Wo kya hai na ki ek hoshiyar aadmi kabhi jyada hoshiyari nahi chodta…aaj bhi waisa hua, maine ek kilometer pahle land kiya, logo se baat-chit ki aur sari baat pata chal gayi… lakho ki deal main aise hee nahi karta… any doubt”

“tu, bol raha tha ki tujhe pata hai kisne Ajmeri ke kothe me chhipaye katte ki jaankari police ko di…”

“haan… Ajmeri ke kothe me chhip…”

“Ajmeri nahi…Ajmeri bai bol use… use sirf Ajmeri wahi bol sakte hai, jo use chodte hai…tu respect de Ajmeri ko”

“ok..mujhe pata hai ki Ajmeri bai ke kothe me aapke gun-smuggling ki information kisne police ko di…”

“kaun hai wo madarchod…main abhi uski maa-bahan ko randi bana dunga…”

“wo toh aap already bana chuke ho…”

“kya matlab tera…”

“zara socho…Ajmeri bai ke kothe me apne guns rakhi…ye kise maloom ho sakti hai. aapko , Ajmeri bai ko, aapke un aadmiyo ko jinhone waha guns rakhi aur…”

“aur…”

“aur waha ki randiyo ko….”

mere itna bolte hee Daddu apni jagah par khada hua aur hadak kar mujhse bola

“wo Ajmeri bai ke kothe me saalo se kaam kar rahi hai, wo aisa kyun karengi…jabki unke ghar ka chulha wahi se jalta hai…wo sab apne marji se waha aayi hai”

“sab ki sab ?”

“tujhe kahna kya hai…”

“ jaha tak mera dhyan jata hai, uske anusar…last time jab main yaha aaya tha tab ek aadmi aapse bheekh mang raha tha ki wo apni behan ko Ajmeri bai ke kothe me nahi bhejega, phhir aapne jabardasti ki thi shayad…..kuch samajh me aaya….”

“salaaa….. ye toh maine socha hee nahi….aaj hee main us randi ko aur uske bhai ko jaan se maar dunga….par pahle main confirm karunga…”

“trust me, I have seen the future…par main yaha is kaam se nahi aaya tha…”apna bag kholkar maine kaha aur pura bag Daddu ki table par khali karke kaha “mujhe ye jewellery black me bechna hai…achchhe daam me. ”

Daddu ne mujhse ek bhi sawal nahi kiya aur apne aadmiyo ko bhejkar ek aadmi ko bulane ke liye bheja….jo shayad koyi sunar tha aur main aisa kah sakta hoon kyunki wo waha baithkar mere dwara laye gaye sone ki jaanch-parakh kafi bariki se kar raha tha, upar se uske kapde aur uske sar me ek topi… uske hath me kayi rang-birangi angoothiya thi aur gale me latakti sone ki ek chain se bada ajeebo-garib locket latak raha tha matlab usne apne aapko , apne dhandhe ko full tantra-mantra se baandh rakha tha lekin phhir bhi mere katte se nikli ek goli uske sare tanta-mantra ki dhajjiya uda sakte the aur isiliye mujhe guns pasand hai…bas saamne wale par nishana sadh kar thaayyye se goli maar do, saamne wala turant thanda pad jata hai… us samay ek pal ko maine aisa karne ka socha bhi, darasal mera mann bahut utsuk ho raha tha, ye janne ke liye ki jab main is sunar ke sar par goli marunga toh ye zinda rahega ya mar jayega… yadi zinda raha toh kab tak zinda rahega aur yadi mar gaya toh kitni der me marega… lekin phhir Daddu mujhe zinda nahi chhodega, isliye waha baithe-baithe, jab sunar mere jewellery ki naap-taul kar raha tha toh ek pal ko mere dimag me ye bhi khayal aaya ki kyun na pahle main Daddu ko hee maar du…?

“3 lakh…”sunar ne mere puri jewellery ka rate bataya, jise sunkar hee main samajh gaya ki wo dono mujhe chuna laga rahe hai…. lekin phhir bhi maine kuch nahi kaha kyunki ek hoshiyar aadmi har jagah apni hoshiyari nahi chodta aur jaha khatra ho waha toh bilkul bhi nahi…

“done…par mujhe ye abhi chahiye.darasal ye maal mera nahi hai,ye kisi dusare ka hai…”

“Daddu ji, aapka commission….”

“ab Arman ji se commission lunga kya….inhe 3 lakh do ,mera commission is baar tumhare account se katega…”

Maine apna paisa apne bag me dala aur Daddu se vida lekar Madhulika ke ghar ki taraf chal pada….
Daddu ke guns police ne jabt kar liye the, yani ki Daddu ko ab mera assignment complete karne me aur bhi waqt lagne wala tha kyunki Daddu is khel ka bahut chhota khiladi tha warna sau katte toh wo mujhe chand dino me de deta, baki uski smuggling ka jariya kya hai, iske baare me mujhe jyada jaankari nahi thi…
main Madhulika ke ghar pahuch pata us-se pahle hee Daddu ka ek aadmi kutto ki tarah bhagte hue mere paas aaya…nahi kutto ki tarah nahi, kutta toh phhir bhi achchha bhagta hai…wo toh gadho ki tarah apni gand utha ke bhagte hue mere paas aaya aur mere saamne apna break markar hafne laga…

“bolega be, ya bas hafte rahega….”

“Daddu ne bulaya hai…”

“kyun…”

“pata nahi….”

“sach me nahi pata ya mujhe batana nahi chahta…par kar bhi kya sakte hai, chal”

Main wapas muda aur Daddu ke adde par pahucha.Sunar apna kaam karke waha se ja chuka tha aur ab waha ek ladki thi jiski umra mushqil se 20-21 saal rahi hogi…jiske baal pakad kar Daddu use ghaseet raha tha…..

“tujhe pata hai, ye kaun hai…”us 20-21 saal ki ladki ko zameen par dhakka dekar Daddu ne mujhse puchha

“yeeee…ye ek randi hai…nahi, I shold give her some respect… ye ek veshya hai”

“tune sahi kaha… ye ek randi hai”kaskar ek laat us ladki ke peeth me markar Daddu bola aur wo ladki paglo ki tarah chillane lagi…shayad use Daddu ke ek laat me hee ye bhanak lag gayi thi ki uske sath ab aage kya hone wala hai…main chup hee raha

“tujhe kaise pata chala ki ye ek randi hai..”

“main ladkiyo ki shakl dekh ke hee pahchan jata hoon ki kaun randi hai..god gift”

“tumne sahi kaha tha, isi rakhail ne Ajmeri bai ke kothe ki jaankari police ko di….aaj main achchhe se iski gand marunga…”bolte hue Daddu ne us ladki ko uthaya aur wapas zameen me patak diya…jis-se ek pal ke liye toh meri……….zameen me us ladki ko patakne ke baad Daddu ne uski chhati ke upar apna pair rakha aur apni puri taqat se us ladki ko dabane laga…

“toh main jaun…”

“nahi…tum yaha jo hone wala hai uska maza lo… main chahta hoon meri ye bahaduri koyi dekhe.. koyi iska sakshi ho , kya bolte hai ise angrezi me…”

“eyewitness”

“haan…wahi… tu yahi rook aur dekh aaj Daddu ki dadagiri… tujhe maza aayega”

“maza…? phhir main waha aaram se baith jata hoon…”ek chair ki taraf ishara karte hue maine Daddu se kaha

“thik hai…”

Main Daddu ke cabin se ek chair utha kar bahar laya aur uspar baithkar bola “toh show shuru karo…”

Aur waha uske baad jo hua, wo main chup-chap dekhta raha….Daddu aur uske aadmiyo ne pahle us ladki ke kapde fade aur phhir sab ek sath uspar toot pade…wo ladki dard se itni cheekh rahi thi ki laga mere kaan se khoon nikal aayega.wo use maar bhi rahe the aur chod bhi rahe the….Daddu us ladki ko beech-beech me itne jam se marta ki mujhe lagta ki bas kayi kaam se, ye ladki…lekin wo ladki itni jaldi nahi gayi.Daddu aur uske do-char chuninda sathiyo ne us ladki ko buri tarah se mara…koyi us 20-21 saal ki ladki ko hath se maar raha tha toh koyi pair se… kisi ke hath me lath tha toh kisi ke hath me belt aur Wo sab us ladki ko non-stop cheedte-fadte ja rahe the…uska pura sharir thodi hee der me khoon se dhak gaya tha… iske baad Daddu neeche jhuka aur us ladki ka sar pakad kar zameen me patakne laga…main toh ye soch ke kanp raha tha ki iska sharir abhi tak zinda kaise hai….wo itni asahya ho gayi thi ki jab sabne apni bhadash nikal li toh us-se hila bhi nahi ja raha tha….wo jaha thi wahi nagn awastha me bahut der tak padi rahi….phhir Daddu ne apna belt nikala aur us ladki ko belt se peetne laga aur tab tak marta raha jab tak ki uska sharir thanda nahi pad gaya aur main wahi kursi me baithkar ye sab dekhta raha. Par ajeeb baat ye thi ki mujhe bilkul bhi us ladki ke liye bura nahi lag raha tha, main jaha baitha tha…wahi baith kar sab kuch chup-chap dekhta raha…ant tak dekhta raha.

“bhai, lagta hai ye tapak gayi…”

“tapak gayi…nale me fek do ise aur iske bhai ke pure khandan ko utha lao…sabka yahi haal hoga….sabko…sabko…is randi ke sare khandan ko nanga karke marunga… pahle toh iske baap ke gand me iske bhai ka lund dalwaunga aur phhir iski maa ke bhosde me iske bhai ka…phhir iske bhabhi aur maa ka nanga naach hoga yaha sabke samne..itna hee nahi is mari hui randi ko bhi iske baap-bhai se chudwaunga…. Rooh kaanp jayegi is madarchod ki aur pura Ganga-jamuna yaad rakhega ki Daddu ke khilaf jaane ka kya hashra hota hai…jaa jakar iske pure gharwalo ko utha la, madarchodo ne Daddu ko Mazak bana rakha hai….”

mere mann me aksar ye khayal aata hai ki yadi prakriti koyi devi hoti aur main unse kabhi milta toh….ye sawal zaroor puchhta ki unki nazar me dinosaurs jyada achchhe the ya phhir insaan...i just hate everyone, including myself….

Main waha se utha aur zameen me lahuluhan padi us ladki ke paas gaya… 

“kya umra hogi iski…? 20 ya phhir 21 aur teri vazah se ye mar gayi… kitna bura hai tu…Kya zaroorat thi tujhe iska name batane ki, tu apne talent ka…apne tez dimag ka galat istemaal kar raha hai par yaad rakhna tujhe in sabka hisab dena padega… keemat toh chukani padegi tujhe…jaise maine chukaya tha, college me….tab main dua karunga ki tera haal aisa na ho”

“chup be, 1.0 ke jaisi baate mat kar…warna tujhe bhi uninstall kar dunga…”

“you’re a bad person…very…very…very….bad person. Why ?”

“ I became a bad person because being good is too boring and I hate boring things…”

Main neeche jhuka aur zameen me lahuluhan padi ladki ke paas baithkar uski saanse check ki…wo abhi bhi zinda thi shayad, par uske sharir me koyi harqat nahi thi…. uske kaan ke paas apna muh lejakar maine us-se kaha… “mard ban…die with smile, not with tears…”

Aur waha se bahar aa gaya, kyunki mujhe maloom tha ki aage ab waha kya hone wala tha aur mera pet sirf ek se hee bhar gaya tha……

“die with smile, not with tears…” ye maine us marti hui ladki se kaha tha, lekin kyun…? Kya zaroorat thi mujhe ye kahne ki…kaun sa wo meri baat maankar muskurate hue mar rahi hogi… Madhulika ke ghar ki taraf badhte hue maine is baare me socha…bahut socha…pel ke socha…tab mujhe samajh aaya ki….dialogue tha, so maar diya.

Madhulika ke ghar ki taraf badhte hue mere dimag me jo dusari baat aayi wo ye ki kya abhi jo hua uska reason main hoon ? kya meri vazah se us ladki ki wo halaat hui ? kya kabhi bhagwan mujhe maaf karega ? par bhagwan toh hai hee nahi aur yadi hai bhi toh wo ye sab dekh nahi raha…. 

“congrats , ab tere dimag me ek aur character ghusne wala hai….wo ladki toh bhoot banker teri band baja degi….tu kitna bura hai be”

“I had two choices… to be a good man or a bad but then I chose to be Great.so here is The Great AR-Man….Arrogant Reputed MAN aur us ladki ke baare me Daddu ko toh waise bhi pata chalne wala tha…Daddu kanche khelkar itna bada nahi bana hai….”

“phhir toh tera bhi ant aisa hee hoga….”

“waise bhi zinda kaun rahna chahta hai, yaha aur jis tarah Daddu kanche khelkar bada nahi hua hai waise main bhi kanche khelkar bada nahi hua hoon… jis din Daddu aur mera aamna-samna hoga us din ya toh Daddu marega ya main aur dono hee case me insaniyat ka bhala hoga…chal papa bol”

“abey ,Madhulika ka ghar peechhe chhoot gaya….”

“hata ,aaj chodne ka mood nahi hai…”

“room le chal…”

“pagal hai kya…wo mere room kyun aayegi”

“uska baap paiso ka lalchi hai aur tere bag me teen lakh rupaye hai….itne me toh wo taklu bhi tere sath aane ke liye taiyar ho jaye….phhir Madhulika ko toh wo bhej hee dega.”

“reverse..….”
.

Maine khud ko reverse mara aur saamne se Madhulika ke ghar me ghusa… Madhulika ka baap is samay chair me baithkar apna lund pant ke bahar se khujate hue ghar ki deewar ki taraf dekh raha tha…

“kyun be, dalle…”andar jate hee maine Madhulika ke baap ko dhikkara par wo mujhe dekhkar khus ho gaya….

“arey aap… aapki vazah se main ghar ki deewaro ko thik karwane ka soch raha tha….”

“Madhulika kaha….”

“wo maine apne ek dost se kuch saal pahle kuch paise udhar liye the…par gareebi ki vazah se chuka nahi paya…isliye Madhulika wo chuka rahi hai….”

“kitna neech hai be tu….maine tujhse jyada gira hua insaan aaj tak nahi dekha…”wahi uske bahar wale room me rakhi ek tooti hui kursi par sawdhani se baithkar maine kaha

“kabhi aaina nahi dekha kya bhau…”

“kya matlab hai be tera….bosdiwale”

“yadi main kasai, toh Madhulika bakri aur aap mere kharid-dar….galti sirf meri nahi hai, aapki bhi hai…par hum ye baat kyun kar rahe hai, aap baitho main aapke liye kuch khane-peene ka prabandh karta hoon…”

“ek randi ke yaha ka khana…yuck…mujhe aisi feeling aa rahi hai jaise kitno ne us khane me apna mutth milaya hoga…rahne de”katta hath me ghumte hue maine kaha “achchha ye bata, Madhulika ek raat ke liye kitne rupaye me mil sakti hai…”

“2000 me puri raat…”bina samay gawaye tapak se Madhulika ka baap bola “aap rukne wale ho kya….?”

“main aur yaha…never. Main Madhulika ko ek raat apne sath le jaane ki baat kar raha hoon…”

“ee ka kahat ho aap…ye nahi ho sakat bhau.Madhu kabhi kahi nahi gayi…”

“5000…”

“arey bhau, kahe sharminda karat ho….aap samajh kahe nahi rahe ho”

“10000 me , soch le…”

“aur iski kya guarantee hai ki Madhu ko kuch nahi hoga….”

“ye le mera number, call karte rahna aur bosdike Daddu mujhe achchhi tarah jaanta hai, isliye main Madhulika ko lekar kahi nahi bhagunga”

“thik hai, par Daddu ko ye mat batana bhau ki aap mujhe dus hazar de rahe ho…warna do hazar toh wo hee kha jayega…thik hai bhau”

Maine apna bag rotate karke saamne kiya aur ekdum role se chashma lagakar bag ka chain khol kar tees hazar uske taraf aise feke jaise na jaane main kitna bada rahis hoon….

“ye le 30 hazar aur teen din ke liye Madhulika mere sath rahegi aur ab bosdiwale tune koyi aana-kani ki toh Daddu ko bolkar tere muh me mutth marwa dunga….tujhe pata nahi par abhi thodi der pahle hee Daddu ne mere kahne me ek raand ko chudwa-chudwa kar jaan se maar diya aur yadi meri khisak gayi toh tere sath bhi wahi hoga…Madhulika ko bol…naha dhokar bahar aaye, main bahar khada hoon….yaha andar mujhe dalalo wali feeling aa rahi hai…”

Mujhe yaad hai ki main yaha Ganga-Jamuna me pahli baar jis auto me aaya tha us autowale ne mujhse kaha tha ki Ganga-Jamuna ki ladkiya chahe jitni marji kapde pahan le…logo ko wo nangi hee nazar aati hai aur wo sach tha…. Madhulika mere bagal me saree pahan kar baithi hui thi lekin mujhe aisa lag raha tha…jaise ki wo ab bhi nangi hee ho….

Par mujhe ye bilkul bhi achchha nahi lag raha tha, kisi bhi angle se nahi…kahi se bhi nahi ki…main ek veshya ko apne sath le jar aha tha. mujhe ye ho kya gaya hai…? meri vaah se abhi ek ladki ki jaan gayi aur ab main ek veshya ko teen din ke liye apne ghar lekar jaa raha hoon…kya mera dimag ghaas charne gaya hai…kya kahenge mere dost jab unhe meri in kartoot ke baare me pata chalega toh… Mana ki Madhulika bahut hot hai…bahut sexy hai. lekin phhir bhi use apne sath le jaana ye kaha ka nyay hai….kya mujhe Madhulika se pyar ho gaya hai ? No…Never…ye nahi ho sakta…main aur ek randi se se pyar…. Main jab Nisha se pyar nahi kar paya toh phhir kisi aur se kya karunga….phhir main is auto me iske sath kya kar raha hoon… mujhe ya toh ise neeche fek dena chahiye ya phhir khud kood jaana chahiye. Maine ek randi ke liye tees hazar kharch kar diye… tees hazar… seriously tees hazar… itni toh sharda enterprises me meri salary nahi thi .

“aap kaha rahte ho…”itni der se auto me jo khamoshi thi use todte hue Madhulika boli aur badle me main andar hee andar khisiya kar rah gaya….mujhe ab bhi yakin nahi ho raha tha ki main Madhulika ko apne sath le jaa raha tha….

“ye sapna hai behanchod…pakka sapna hai behanchod, ye haqiqat nahi hai behanchod, ye haqiqat ho hee nahi sakti behanchod…main is waqt apne flat me hoon behanchod….”sochte hue maine apna purana formula apnaya aur auto me ek mukka mara….

“haqiqat hai……… behanchod…”apna hath dusare hath se malte hue maine kaha 

“itni jor se marne ki kya zaroorat thi…”

“main samajh sakti hoon…mere sath koyi nahi rahna chahta.maine toh pahle hee warn kiya tha ki mere paas mat aaya karo…”auto me meri harqate dekh Madhulika boli “aap chaho toh mujhe yahi utar do…main wapas chali jaungi…”

“haan, ye sahi rahega…nahi..ye sahi nahi rahega…maine 30 hazar tujhe chhodne ke liye nahi balki tujhe chodne ke liye diye hai aur tu chup rah…mujhe tujhse advice lene ki zaroorat nahi hai..”

“thik hai…”muskurate hue Madhulika boli aur ye shayad pahli baar tha jab main use muskurate hue dekh raha tha par main bilkul bhi nahi chahta tha ki main uski taraf dekhu…kyunki use muskurata hua dekh main normal hone laga tha…par main aisa nahi chahta tha. main use bhar-bhar ke gaali dena chahta tha…main use randi…veshya…chhinar aur bhi bahut kuch kahna chahta tha.lekin uski ek muskurahat ne mere muh par mano tala laga diya tha. main use kuch bol hee nahi paya….

“phhir se wo wala stunt kar toh…”maine kaha

“kya…”

“arey wahi stunt jo tune abhi thodi der pahle kiya…phhir se kar toh”

Aur wo shant hee rahi…jispar mujhe meri galti ka ahsaas hua aur maine apne sabdo ko badal kar kaha…

“mera matlab ,phhir se muskura toh…mujhe wo achchha laga…”

“kya…main kuch samjhi nahi…”muskurate hue Madhulika boli…

“wow…amazing…you look beautiful. Tumhe pata hai main bhi pahle aisich…aisich natural smile diya karta tha, meri muskan ekdum kadak, real aur natural hua karti thi.par ab main sirf acting karta hoon….maine khud se itna jhooth bola hai ki ab main khud hee nahi samajh pata ki kya haqiqat hai aur kya mera jhooth.. mujhe lagta hai ki meri hasi, meri muskan, mera gussa ye sab ek chhalawa hai,jo sach ko mujhse chhipa rahe ho…. tum yakin nahi karogi par main khud se jhooth bol sakta hoon par kamal ki baat toh ye hai ki main uspar yakin bhi kar leta hoon, jisme meri acting mera bharpoor sath deti hai….”

“acting… yani ki abhinay na…ek baar muskura kar dikhao toh…”

“yaha…? ”

“haan…”

“abhi…isi waqt…?”

“kyun nahi…”

“thik hai phhir…”maine apna chehra dusari taraf kiya aur do-teen lambi-lambi saans lekar apne daant dikhate hue Madhulika ki taraf muda aur Madhulika ne mujhe dekh kar jo hasna shuru kiya toh wo bahut der tak hasti rahi….
.

“kya be 3.0, ek veshya tujhpar has rahi hai…tujhpar hasne ka haq sirf Esha ko hai…baaki kisi ko nahi…”

“iski toh…”

Maine apna muh turant band kiya aur turant apne face ka expression change karke Madhulika ko gusse se dekha…par wo ab mujhe dekhkar aur bhi jor-jor se hasne lagi….

“tu bhai, sanyas le le…tujhse kuch na hoga. Kyun meri kamayi hui izzat me mutth mar raha hai… just kill her…”

“yaha…pagal hai kya…khoon-voon room me, tension kyun leta hai…teen din ab ye mere sath hee rahegi…”

“version 2.0 activate karu kya…”

“abhi nahi…uski kamar dekh kitni gori hai…lagta hai chat loon…”

“go on…”

Maine hasti hui Madhulika ke kamar me apna hath rakha aur uski chamdi ko masalne laga, jis-se Madhulika apni hasi rok-kar auto walo ko dekhti hui meri taraf khisak aayi…

“tu mujhe last time kah rahi thi ki main tujhse door rahu warna main barbaad ho jaunga….aaj wahi baat main tujhe kahta hoon ki tu mujhse door rah, warna main tera khoon kar dunga. Tune kabhi kisi pagal kutte ko dekha hai….? use koyi fark nahi padta ki saamne wala kaun hai, uski aukat kya hai…uske saamne jo bhi aata hai,wo use kaat leta hai…main bhi usi pagal kutte ki tarah hoon jo har kisi ko kat khata hai.so be scared…”
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Main Madhulika ko lekar E-6 me pahucha aur khane ka order dene ke liye apna mobile uthaya….lekin mere mobile me balance hee nahi tha…maine socha ki net banking ke through recharge kar leta hoon, lekin BC mera netpack bhi kal hee expire ho chuka tha….yani ki mujhe…mujhe swayam Yugpurush Shri Arman ko recharge karne ke liye jaana pad raha tha…shuru me mujhe khayal aaya ki Madhulika ko bhej doon…lekin phhir socha ki kahi kuch ho na jaaye is dar se maine khud hee jaane ka socha...

“sahi hai, udhar se MBD se khana bhi pack karwa lunga…kitne din pizza kha-kha kar guzara karunga…kahi aisa na ho ki pizza kha-kha kar main bhi pizza ke mafiq gol-matol ho jaun…”

Maine apne bag me rakhe 3 lakh rupaye me se ek gaddi nikali aur mobile recharge wale dukan me pahucha…waha apna mobile recharge karane ke baad main MBD pahucha aur mujhe jo-jo khana tha usko pack karne ka order de diya….

“10 minute sir…aap tab tak waha baithiye…kya lenge aap tea ya coffee…”

“daru…”

“sorry sir…yaha drinking aur smoking allow nahi hai…”

“ek kaam karna…”menu dekhte hue maine kaha “aalu ke parathe 12 se 15 kar de…. Nahi 15 toh main hee kha jaunga… 20 kar de…twenty final. Kitna bill hua…”

“ twenty parathas, one full paneer…aapke hue total 865 /-”

Maine use 500 ki do patti di aur baki bache paise use aise hee de diye… bahut bada dil hai mera ………..aur lund bhi….

“thank you sir…”

“tum order ready karo…main do-teen peg markar aata hoon”

“ok sir….”

Do-teen peg markar aur khana pack karwa ke main flat me wapas aaya…Madhulika mere flat ka kona-kona jhak rahi thi aur mere andar aate hee meri taraf khushi se aayi…

“aapka ghar bahut achchha hai…aap bahut ameer ho.aap kaam kya karte ho…”

“Pirates of NH-6, company ka name suna hai…”saman table par rakhkar maine kaha aur apne dono shoes utarkar dustbin me feka… “yessss, goal…”

“aapne joote kude-dan me kyun fek diye…”thoda shocked hokar Madhulika puchhi…

“kafi der se mera mann kar raha tha ki main koyi chiz dustbin me feku…so…um-hmm…by the way, kaha tha main..”apne shocks utar ka lighter se jalate hue maine puchha

“aap apne baare me bata rahe the ki koyi company…”mere jalte hue shocks ko dekhkar Madhulika boli… wo is samay thodi-thodi dar rahi thi ki ye main kya kar raha hoon aur exactly, yahi toh main chahta tha…

“pirates of NH-6…main us company ka owner hoon..”

“main khana bana doon…”

“bahut rahis hoon main , bahar hotel se magwa kar roj khana khata hoon aur tu khana kyun banayegi…ye khana jo main pack kara kar laya hoon, use kya tera baap khayega ya teri mari hui maa…mari hui maa....lol…”

Jawab me Madhulika chup ho gayi…par use dekhkar main samajh gaya ki wo meri baat ka bur maan gayi thi, wo bhi shayad mujhe bhar-bhar ke gaali dena chahti thi ya phhir meri maa ko…lekin usne aisa kuch nahi kiya…usne mujhse ek shabd bhi nahi kaha aur yadi kuch kahti toh main uske gand me ek bade sa danda daalkar us dande me jor se laat maar deta…literally… khair wo chup-chap apna daant peeskar rah gayi…. 

Mere dwara uski mari hui maa ke bare me bolne ke baad kafi der tak hum dono aise hee chup-chap ek dusare ko dekhte hue khade rahe aur us dauran daru ne apna full asar dikhana chalu kiya, mera sharir apne aap hilne-dulne laga tha…maine ek angdayi li aur

“main chhat me jaa raha hoon aur khabardar jo mere peechhe aayi toh, warna wahi se neeche fek dunga…”
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Ladkhadate hue main apne flat se bahar aaya aur chhat par jaane ke liye seedhiyo par chadhne laga..waise toh mujhe daru chadhti hai,lekin itni nahi ki main khud par control na rakh saku…par is waqt main seedhiya chadhte hue itna ladkhada raha tha ki ek pal ko mujhe aisa laga mano main seedhiyo se fisalkar neeche hee gir jaunga…mera sar bahut ghoom raha tha aur pair seedhiyo par upar chadhte hue buri tarah dagmaga rahe the…ye toh phhir bhi normal tha…. lekin upar chhat par jaate hue ek waqt aisa aaya jab mere pair itne bekabu ho gaye ki khud ko girne se bachane ke liye mujhe railings ka sahara lena pada… maine railings ko dono hatho se pakda aur aankh band karke ahiste-ahiste wahi seedhiyo par baithne ki koshish karne laga…ab mera sar aur bhi jyada ghoomne laga tha aur jab main railings ke sahare neeche baith raha tha tabhi eka-ek mere hath railing se chhoot gaye aur mere pairo ne mera sath chhod diya… us pal mujhe buri tarike se neeche girne ka ahsaas ho chuka tha, maine toh ye bhi soch liya tha ki kaha-kaha mujhe chot lagne wali hai aur kitne din main bed par pada rahunga…lekin tabhi… tabhi achanak se kisi ne mujhe pakad liya aur uske sparsh matra se main samajh gaya ki wo kaun thi…

“thank you, Aradhna….achchha hua jo tune mujhe pakad liya, warna aaj main bhi tere paas pahuch jata…”

“sir, mujhe ye bilkul bhi nahi pasand ki aap us veshya ko yaha lao…”mujhe pakad kar wahi seedhiyo par baithate hue Aradhna boli aur khud bhi mere bagal me baith gayi..

“wo toh mujhe bhi nahi pasand…de tali”Aradhna ki taraf dekhkar maine kaha…

Waise toh waha is waqt bahut andhera tha, lekin main Aradhna ko saaf-saaf dekh sakta tha. uska pura sharir shwet prakash ki tarah chamak raha tha…Aradhna meri taraf apna chehra karke baithi hui mujhe bade pyar se nihar rahi thi aur main…main uske bade-bade doodh saaf dekh sakta tha aur nashe ki halat me ladkhadate mere mann ne mujhe huqm diya ki main uske doodh daba du….par maine aisa nahi kiya… kyunki after all wo ek mari hui ladki thi… Respect _/\_ .dil se na sahi… hath se toh de hee sakta hoon.

“Aradhna…”

“hmm…”

“bina namak ke sabji khayi hai kabhi…”

“haan..ek baar.. kuch feel hee nahi hota..”

“same, mujhe bhi sala kuch feel nahi hota… waise, meri vazah se aaj ek aur ladki mar gayi.tumhe kya lagta hai…kya main uski maut ka jimmedar hoon…Daddu toh use waise bhi ek na ek din pakad leta…”

“ye bhi toh ho sakta hai ki yadi aap Daddu ko kuch na batate toh Daddu use kabhi pakad hee na pata… shayad isi bahane police uski help karti aur wo us narak se bahar nikal jati… lekin……lekin……aap ki vazah se….. aap itne bure kyun ho, sir…mera matlab kya zaroorat thi aapko Daddu ko us ladki ke baare batane ki…aap dusaro ki parvah kyun nahi karte… aapko kya zara bhi andaza hai ki aapke is bartaav ka dusaro par kya asar hota hai… aapke liye ye kuch seconds ka maza dusaro ke liye kitna bhayanak saabit hota hai, iska aapko andaza bhi nahi… aapne kabhi ye nahi socha ki is duniya me aur bhi log hai aur unki bhi zindagi hai… jis tarah aapka guroor hai, waise hee unka bhi guroor hai… jise bachane ke liye wo kuch bhi kar sakte hai… wo ladki jo aaj mari, kuch din pahle hasi-khushi jeevan bita rahi thi, phhir uspar Daddu ki nazar padi aur usne uski zindagi ko ek pal me chaknachur karke use kothe me bitha diya aur phhir aaj aapki meharbani ki vazah se Daddu ne use peet-peet kar maar dala…par main bol kise rahi hoon , use…jisne kabhi apne baap tak ki izzat nahi ki… par mujhe aaj tak ek baat samajh nahi aayi ki aap aise kyun ho… mera matlab koyi toh reason hoga ”

“reason… reason actually, main tab bahut chhota tha, jab main ye jaan gaya ki yaha kisi ko kisi se koyi matlab nahi hai… Aradhna, tumhare school me tumhare class me koyi padhne me hoshiyar raha hoga,jo class me top marta raha hoga…kuch aise rahe honge jo sports me avval aate rahe honge…kuch aise bhi rahe honge jo kayi tarah ke compition jeetkar apne school aur maa-baap ka name roshan karte rahe honge, kuch toh aise bhi rahe honge jinke maa-baap apne bete ko sirf annual function me anchoring ya perform karta dekh khushi se…garv se dusaro ko batate rahe honge ki wo dekho…wo mera beta hai, mera matlab…kamal hai na..ek ladka jo stage me jakar 5 minutes ghisi-piti lines bolta hai…use sunkar unke maa-baap ka garv se seena chauda ho jata hai….Ye sab ki sab qualities mere andar thi… maine itne cup jeete ki unhe jhole me bharkar rakhna padta tha, kyunki mere papa ko laga ki is tarah pure ghar me mere winning cups rakhne par Vipin bhaiya ko sad feel hoga…. par jo chiz mujhe sabse jyada hurt karti thi ki wo ye ki mere baap ne kabhi meri peeth nahi thapthapayi… unhe meri kabhi koyi qualities nahi dikhi wahi yadi Vipin bhaiya kisi bhi competition me yadi consolation prize bhi jeet jaye toh mere mummi-papa kayi dino tak uske baare me dusaro se charcha karte rahte the… main bahut kam umra me samajh gaya tha ki jin logo ke paas meri jitni qualities nahi hoti wo mujhse jalte hai, mujhse nafrat karte hai… main unki jalan aur nafrat se aisa bana... jinhe main apna kahta tha, maine un sabki aankho me mere liye chhipi nafrat dekhi… phhir chahe school me, wo mera dost Varun ho ya phhir ghar me mera bada bhai…yaha tak ki mere maa-baap bhi. Wo aksar yahi dua karte the ki main jis competition me participate kar raha hoon usme kabhi na jeetu… infact apne influence ka istemaal karke unhone ek baar toh school me ho rahe quiz contest me mere kayi right answers ko galat karwa diya tha aur unhone socha tha ki mujhe ye kabhi nahi pata chalega, par main itna bewkoof nahi tha… us din main kuch nahi kar paya aur mere baap ki vazah se kuch chutiye mujhe chutiya bana gaye jiske baad mere bheje me ek baat ghusi ki yadi is duniya me jeena hai toh khamosh mat baitho, balki duniya ko khamosh kar do… apne hunar se, apne taqat se kuch aisa karo ki tumse jalne wale aur jale yaha tak ki tumhe pyar karne wale bhi jalne lage…make everyone cry like a little bitch…log tumhare name se roye…. Tab se mera sirf ek hee usool hai….dont be silent, make the world silent… ”
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“life is all about our thinking, our beliefs and our daring..it’s you vs you...always it was and always it will be…. But then I met a guy who was exactly like me…”

“Arun sir…”

“haan… us lawde ko kabhi koyi farak hee nahi pada…uska din mutth marne se shuru hota aur mutth marne pe khatm ho jata… ajeeb mutth-baz tha sala…chutiya, gandul… kabhi-kabhi main sochta hoon ki tumhari jagah yadi wo mujhe dikhta toh kitna maza aata.wo mujhe naye-naye tarike se mutth marne ke tricks batata aur phhir hum dono bathroom me jakar sperm donate karte…tum bhi mujhse college me nafrat karti thi, hai na…kaha gayi ye, Sali gayab ho gayi…achchha hua khud mar gayi,warna jaise iske college me bartaav the…us base pe toh main hee ise maar deta”

Maine railings ko dono hatho se pakda aur railing par sar tikakar wahi so gaya lekin phhir aadhi raat ko mujhe Madhulika ne uthaya aur main neend ke aagosh me dooba hua andar aakar so gaya…. Aradhna ke dikhne ka ek fayda ye tha ki wo aksar mujhe sula kar jati thi… how sweet…….. lawda

Mujhe pata nahi Madhulika ko dekhkar kya ho gaya tha… wo teen din mere sath waha rahi par un teen dino me main uske zara bhi kareeb nahi gaya, yaha tak ki use chhua tak nahi…. Pahle din toh wo mere se chudne mere paas bhi aayi thi lekin maine use waha se bhaga diya…pata nahi kyun, par maine aisa hee kiya…maine uske rahne ka intezaam dusare room me kar diya tha aur apne room ka gate har waqt band karke rakhta tha…is tarah main khud ke flat me ek randi ki vazah se kaid ho gaya tha aur us dauran un teen dino me mujhe aisa lagne laga tha jaise ki mere flat me total 5 nahi balki 6 darwaje hai… ek extra darwaja mere bedroom me tha.. bedroom me aane-jaane ke liye do darwaje the. Ek darwaja wo jiska istemaal main karta hoon aur dusara wo jiska istemaal Aradhna karti hai… Aradhna wala darwaja mere bed bed ke thik bagal me tha aur pichhale teen dino se wo usi darwaje ke through mere room me aa-jaa rahi thi… maine bhi us darwaje ka istemaal karna chaha, kyunki uska istemaal karne par mujhe bahar hall me mauzood Madhulika ka saamna nahi karna padta… lekin main wo darwaja nahi khol paya… waha beshak chhatha darwaja tha lekin mujhe wo deewar jaisa hee mahsoos hota tha…

Maine us sixth door ke baare me Aradhna se bhi baat ki toh usne kaha ki wo ek spiritual gate hai, waha se sirf wahi log aa-ja sakte hai… jo marne ke baad kisi se communicate karte hai aur main ek zinda insaan hoon… usne mujhe kaha ki yadi mujhe us sixth door ka istemaal karna hai toh mujhe khud ko maarna padega, jisme wo meri madad kar sakti… 

“toh wo ek spiritiual door hai…tabhi wo achanak aati hai aur achanak chali jati hai kahi is ghar me aur bhi bahut sare hidden darwaje toh nahi…? jinke baare me mujhe pata hee na ho”

“mujhe aaj jaana hai…”mera gate khat-khatate hue Madhulika boli….

“toh jaana…”
“mujhe raasta nahi maloom aur aapne mere pitaji se kaha tha ki aap mujhe wapas chhodenge…”

“maine aisa kaha tha ? sala kuch bhi promise kar deta hoon…exact do minute tees second ke baad gate knock karna…na ek second kam aur na hee ek second jyada”

Aur is tarah pure teen din baad main aaj apne room se bahar nikla tha…maine pahle Madhulika ko waha se bahar sadak par jaane ke liye kaha aur jab wo sadak par chali gayi toh main taala band karke bahar aaya….

“tu mujhse char kadam peechhe hee rahna…”Madhulika se char kadam aage aakar maine kaha…

Mere is bartaav ka Madhulika par kya asar ho raha tha mujhe nahi pata aur na hee maine ispar koyi dhyan diya…mujhe toh bas jaise-taise Madhulika ko yaha se saltana tha aur maine mann hee mann ye pran le liya tha ki aaj ke baad main uski shakl kabhi nahi dekhunga, warna main Physics-Putra Arman nahi…

“hey Arman….”kisi ne bahut jor se mera name liya

“Vandana mam, aap…”aawaz ki taraf jab maine palti mari toh mujhe Vandana Rathi dikhi aur use dekhte hee maine apne jeb se turant goggle nikala aur turant pahankar bola “ Good morning ,mam ”

“hell with your Good Morning… maine tumse 3 din pahle kuch kaha tha aur tumne kaha tha ki tum sham ko jawab doge… lekin aaj teen din ho gaye… maine kayi baar tumhe call kiya , kayi baar tumhare gate par knock bhi kiya…lekin tumne koyi answer hee nahi diya… tum kya last time ka mujhse badla le rahe ho ? yadi Sharda Enterprises rejoin nahi karna toh mat karo…lekin itna attitude dikhane ki koyi zaroorat nahi hai…ok”

“ok..”

“tum mujhe abhi batao ki kya tum Sharda Enterprises join kar rahe ho ya nahi”

“aaj sham ko batata hoon…”

“phhir se sham ko…”apna sar peet kar Vandana mam boli....actually boli nahi balki cheekhi…jiske jawab me maine apna muh thoda se khola aur saamne ke aath daant(I counted it later) dikhate hue maine kaha “haan ” 

“whatever…who’s she”mere peeche mujhse char kadam ki doori par khadi Madhulika ki taraf ungali dikhakar usne puchha…

“who..? she…? That beautiful girl…? I don’t know”

“she is with you…isn’t she ? ”

“ok bye…”itna bolkar main waha se aage badh gaya.
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Madhulika ko uske ghar chhodkar maine uske baap ko pakda aur ginkar do laat use mare…par wo rone ke bajaya, mujhpar gussa hone ke bajay has raha tha…jis-se mera matha aur sanka aur maine ek mukka kaskar uske takle me diya…

“kya hua saheb, maja nahi aaya kya….”apne takle par hath pherkar wo haste hue bola

“tu BC mujhe dikhna mat aaj ke baad…sale dalle…”

“dekho saheb, izzat se baat karo… bahut sah liya maine. Wo toh paisa dete ho isliye bardasht kar raha hoon…warna mujhe pahle din hee pata chal gaya tha ki aap police me nahi ho. Ganga-Jamuna jis thane me padta hai waha ke policewalo ko Daddu sirf har mahine isi baat ke lakh rupaye deta hai ki wo yaha na aaye aur dusari baat policewale Daddu ke katte ka istemaal nahi karte…toh yadi agli baar kisi ko bolo ki tum police wale ho toh ye hazar rupaye ka katta apni jeb me hee rakhna…”waha rakhi ek chair me baithte hue Madhulika ka baap bola “toh kaisa tha mera abhinay…? Amitabh Bachchan ke mafiq solid tha na.. tumhe kya laga ki main sach me tumse darta hoon… ye humara pushtaini dhanda hai aur tumhe socha ki tum mujhe chuna laga doge…”

“ tu baki sab toh samajh gaya, your acting was pretty good…no doubt… par tu ye nahi samjha ki meri kahani me kisi bhi character ka ant smoothly nahi hota… ya toh main unki leta hoon ya phhir wo meri lete hai. par adhiktar main hee leta hoon aur waise bhi kya hua jo main police me nahi hoon, Gun toh hai na mere paas aur goli bhi”

“mere paas bhi hai…wo bhi do-do…”

“chal be sale, madarchod….dalle…randi ki aulad… teri bahan ka bur-bada like dahi-bada…”ek jhapad aur use markar maine kaha…

“madartaka tujhe samajh nahi aa raha kya…”mera collar pakad kar wo cheekha…“chup-chap ja yaha se”

Itne me humari garma-gahmi ke beech Madhulika waha aa gayi aur apne baap ki peeth sahla kar use shant rahne ke liye bolne lagi….jis-se wo taklu shant hone laga…

“tu bhi apni beti ko chodta hai kya be…dalle…. Jis tarah se teri ye randi beti teri peeth sahla rahi hai…us-se toh yahi lagta hai ki customer na milne par tu khud ise chodta hoga, tu khud iski choot chat-ta hoga aur ise lund chusate hue isi ke muh me mutth gira deta hoga aur phhir paise bhi nahi deta hoga…hahaha… tujhe pata hai maine kaise teri beti ki itne din se gand mari hai…wo zameen dekh raha hai wahi par ghista-ghista kar teri beti ko choda hoon… teri beti lund mast choosti hai… sale dalle, chutiye…mujhe toh tujhe dekhte hee teri asliyat samajh jaani chahiye the…waise bhi tu mujhe yaha yahi bolkar laya tha ki ye teri biwi hai… bol tune apni mari hui biwi ke saamne apni beti ko choda hai ya nahi aur phhir jab tera nikalne wala tha toh tune apna lund apni marti hui biwi ke chehre ki taraf kar diya… Sali randi, lund ka swad lete-lete mar gayi…. Hahaha… ab yadi tu ek randi ki aaulad hai, jo ki tu hai hee toh aa aur mujhse lad… warna ja jakar apni beti ke choot me ungali kar… waise bhi teen din se use lund nahi mila toh gam me hogi…. Kutiya kahi ki…. Betichod sale… “itna bolkar maine ek jordar saans li aur bola “nice provoking… I’m too good in this…”
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“saheb aap jao…”gusse se ufante apne baap ko pakad kar andar kheechne ki koshish karte hue Madhulika mujhse boli….

“ghoor kya raha hai be behanchod…”zameen me pada uska chappal uthakar usi ko fek kar marte hue maine kaha “aukat me rah be dalle, jab main apne baap se kabhi nahi dara toh phhir tujhse kya darunga aur jyada hoshiyari chodi na toh tujhe aur teri beti ko bisleri se chudwaunga….wo bhi pure Ganga-Jamuna me sabke saamne… bhosdike randiyo… pata nahi kis-kis ka lawda chat kar badi hui hai teri beti aur kis-kis ka lawda lekar teri biwi ne ise paida kiya hai… kya teri maa bhi randi thi ? khandani dhandha hai ye tumlogo ka…”

Main jaanta tha ki main jo kah raha tha wo bahut jyada katu shabd the , itne katu ki samne wala samne wale ki jaan le le… Narcissism , jo ki mere according mujhe tha uska ye lakshan hai ki koyi yadi mujhe kuch kahta hai ya phhir mujhe chutiya banata hai toh bawal phhir bawal hona tay hai…Madhulika ke baap ne teen din pahle mujhe tees hazar ka chuna lagaya tha upar se bahut nautanki bhi ki thi…isliye saza toh usko deni thi. par kayi baar main confuse bhi ho jata hoon ki main sach me Narcissism se grasit hoon ya phhir maine ise apnaya hua hai…
Aur yadi main apni baat karu toh yadi mujhe koyi aisi gali deta jaisi ki main is samay Madhulika ke baap ko de raha tha toh Esha ki Kasam main usko jaan se maar deta, par main dekhna ye chahta tha ki ab Madhulika ka baap kya karta hai….Us takle Madharchod ne Madhulika ko do thappad markar khud se door feka aur mujhe wahi rukne ka bolkar andar gaya…. andar se kayi chizo ke girne ki aawaz kuch der tak aati rahi aur jab wo aawaze band hui tab Madhulika ka baap same to same waisa hee katta lekar mere samne aaya, jaisa ki mere paas tha…usne Katta mujhpar taana aur meri taraf dheere-dheere badhte hue bola…

“ab bol, kya bol raha tha…madargaddi”

“what the hell is this madar-taka or madar-gaddi…tu randi, teri beti randi, teri biwi randi, teri maa randi… teri mausi randi… teri chachi randi… teri mami randi… teri bua randi, teri dadi randi… in short tera pura khandan randi….” 

Maine jawab diya. Par jawab dene se pahle maine katta chalaya aur Madhulika ke baap ka pair khoon se lahu-luhan kar diya…dusari firing maine Madhulika ke baap ke shoulder me ki…waise mera nishana uska wo hath tha, jis hath se usne katta pakad rakha tha par firing ke samay jhatke ki vazah se goli uske shoulder me lagi thi… back to back do goli lagne se aur Madhulika ke baap ke hath se Gun chhootkar neeche girne ke karan ab pura game mere hath me tha…par main Madhulika ke baap ke sath jyada kuch kar nahi saka kyunki goli chalne ke turant baad waha aas-paas rahne wale log andar aa chuke the… wo toh mujhe maar hee dete lekin mere hath me mauzood katte ki vazah se unme se koyi mere jyada paas tak nahi aaya….siway Madhulika ke....

“tumne aisa kyun kiya…”jaha-jaha Madhulika ke baap ko goli lagi thi un jagah par khoon rokne ke liye kapda bandhte hue Madhulika cheekh kar boli….

“kamal hai, first meeting me toh tune kaha tha ki tera baap zinda rahe ya mar jaye…tujhe koyi fark nahi padta…bas main yahi check kar raha tha ….you failed… mujhe samajh nahi aata ki log apni baat par kayam kyun nahi rahte…”

“koyi ambulance ko call karo…. Reeta, jaldi call kar… Mani didi , jaldi se call kariye…. Isne befaltu me mere pitaji ko maar diya, ise jaane mat dena…”

“Janeman, meri zindagi ek circus hai aur main us circus ka joker hoon….zinda rahne ke liye mujhe perform karna padta hai aur rahi baat yaha se jaane ki toh… tum sab yaad rakhna ki mere paas”hath me pakde apne katte ko choomte hue maine kaha “so, get the hell out of here….clear my way, you all 3 dimensional ordinary people , tum log 3D hokar 4D man ko rokoge aur yadi rok bhi liya toh main time ko phhir se reset kar dunga”

Katte ki jor me main waha se nikla lekin mere peechhe-peechhe Ganga-Jamuna ke kayi log pad gaye… wo sab katte ki wajah se toh mujhse thodi doori banaye hue the, par lagatar mere peechhe-peeche chal rahe the… jis-se meri gand fati aur main daudkar Daddu ke adde ki taraf bhaga…. wo sab bhi mere peechhe Daddu ke adde ki taraf bhage…

Daddu aaj bhi apne jhat jaise cabin me baithkar kisi se phone me baat kar raha tha aur mujhe aata Dekh wo thoda sa muskuraya aur mujhe baithne ka ishara kiya….

“us madarchod ko bol ki apni aukat me rahe warna main uske pure khandan ki aurato ko ganga-jamuna me randi bana kar unse dhandha karwaunga….”Itna bolkar Daddu thodi der ke liye chup hua aur phhir cheekhte hue bola…

“Vidhayak hoga ,wo apne ghar ka… usko bolna ki Daddu ke paas aaj bhi wo randi hai jiske sath wo dus saal pahle maje kiye karta tha…ek minute lagega mujhe uski party ki maa chodne me…bhaidchod….mujhe Ajmeri bai ke kothe ki sari randiya wapas chahiye aur sath me uska name bhi jisne police ko ye bataya ki Ajmeri bai ke kothe me maine katta chhipa rakha hai….use aur uske pure pariwar ko nanga karke beech chaurahe me goli nahi mari toh mera name bhi Daddu nahi…Ganga-jamuna meri jaagir hai. main jab chahu, jaise chahu, jo chahu wo main karunga…koyi gunda yaha apna laad nahi hilayega aur yadi hilaya toh main uska lund kaatkar uske maa-bahan ke gand me dal dunga aur tu mera jaldi se ye kaam kar warna main teri bhi maa chodunga, samjha”bolkar Daddu shant hua aur dusari oor jo aadmi tha, uski baat sunne laga

“haan..ye ki na mardo wali baat…15 minute ke andar mujhe meri randiya mere kothe par wapas chahiye…ab phone rakh”

phone rakhkar daddu thodi der ke liye shant hokar idhar-udhar dekhta raha aur phhir mujhse mukhatib hokar bola….

“sala dhandha karna mushqil kar diya hai,in policewalo ne…. jab se naya S.P. aaya hai, gand me baans kiye baitha hai.”

“life is like physics Daddu bhai…”

“kya…..kya.kya”

“fucking illetrate”muskurate hue maine kaha “dusare tareeke se samjhata hoon…life me un logo ko bilkul bhi allow mat karo, jinka role jyada important na ho….wait………. what the……. Kya ye pahle nahi hua…main jab last time aaya tha tab bhi aapka Ajmeri ji ke kothe par police ne chhapa markar sabko andar kar diya tha aur aaj bhi ? same kapde, same time, same dialogues, same expression….what a coincident, behanchod ye ho kya raha hai…. maine bhi toh same dialogue bola… main kya bol raha hoon,kyun bol raha hoon…ek minute shuru se shuru karte hai…”

“dekh…tu jo bhi kuch bhi bola, sab apne neeche se gaya…lekin apun itna samajh gaya ki tu apun ka mazak bana raha hai…agli baar aisa kuch kiya toh dono kanpatti pe gun rakhkar dono side se ek hee time pe aisi goli marunga ki sala confuse ho jayega ki kis side ki goli se mara hai… apun ko tumhara ye chutiyagiri nahi magta….”

“hua kya….”

“mera pura gun jo maine magwaye the wo police ne pakad liya….”

“Ajmeri bai ke kothe se ?”

“haan….par tere ko kaise maloom be…”

“phone pe baat karte suna na…par you sure ki ye incident aaj hee hua hai…mujhe aisa kyun lag raha hai ki ye kand teen din pahle hua tha…”

“tu kya jhad rela hai…ye aaj hee hua hai aur aadhe ghante pahle hee hua hai…pata nahi sala kisne inform kiya us bhaidchod s.p. ko…”

“hail physics…”

“kyaaa…”

“physics is simple daddu bhai, so is life…par aajkal situation thodi complicated ho rahi hai…main aapse baad me milta hoon…bye…”

Main waha se utha aur jaise hee Daddu ke adde se bahar nikla toh mujhe kuch laga…matlab.. jaise.. koyi… waha kuch tha… koyi energy type chiz… dark matter ya phhir dark energy…jo ki hidden rahti hai. 

Waha bahut sare log Daddu ke adde ke bahar khade the…ye sab wahi log the jo Madhulika ke ghar se mere peechhe the… un sabko waha dekh main peechhe muda toh dekha ki Daddu idhar bahar hee aa raha tha…. ek toh ye time repeat hua, upar se ye log aur ab peechhe se Daddu… kis par concentrate karu…

“tum log yaha kyun jama hue ho…”bahar ki bheed dekhkar Daddu ne gurrate hue un sabse puchha…

“gaya lawda ab toh… 2.0, any escape plan…?”

“no…”

“apna engineering wala dimag laga aur jaldi se koyi tarqeeb nikal warna aaj gaya kaam se… main toh first time fasa hoon aisi situation me… tujhe toh kafi ideas honge”

“is-se pahle ki Daddu tujhe mare, tu Daddu ko maar de… main college me yahi karta tha… Varun, Naushad, Gautam, Collector ka launda… ”

“sale, tu bachane ka plan bata raha hai ya marwane ka plan bata raha hai… pahle maloom hota toh…..”

Chapter-21: Recall-2/The Balcony Show

 

“shukar mana, ki tu chand minutes me time loop se bahar aa gaya.. China me toh ek aadmi 8 saal tak timeloop me fasa tha…”

“china nahi, Japan be…”

“kya fark padta hai…”

“cigarette piyega…”

“piyunga…do jala…. No sharing”

“that’s the spirit…”

Maine do cigarette sulgayi aur dono ko apne muh ke ek-ek side me rakhkar kash kheechne laga jis-se autowale ka dhyan meri taraf aakarsit hua aur usne do-teen baar palatkar mujhe…

“ itne me chauk gaya... abhi version 1.0 activate nahi hai, warna beech me bhi ek cigarette daalkar teen ek sath peeta hoon… ab peechhe mat mudna.. bf dekhkar mutth marunga, pura dimag ghoom gaya……sala”
.

Mujhe neend nahi aati…din toh phhir main kaise bhi karke kaat leta hoon, lekin raat mujhe bahut jyada pareshan karti hai... main apni raate ya toh NH-6 me logo ko lootne me bitata hoon ya phhir koyi engineering ki book uthakar baith jata hoon aur jab main aisa karta hoon toh mere dimag me pata nahi kya chalte rahta hai… main khud se baate karta hoon.. khud se sawal karta hoon, un sawalo ke jawab bhi deta hoon aur ye sari conversation English me hoti hai… yahi mere dialogues bante hai…jinhe phhir main yaad karke logo ko marta hoon…

“Being comfortable is our biggest enemy and we spend our whole life to get that comfort.” 

Ye meri philosophy hai aur isi se mujhe matlab hai, isiliye raat ke teen baje main apne comfort ki maa-bahan karke itni kadake ki thand me NH-6 me Katta hath me liye apne shikar ka intezaar kar raha tha… waise mujhe aaj NH-6 me loot nahi karni chahiye thi, kyunki pichhale dedh ghante me, jabse main yaha aaya tha police ki jeep char baar round maar chuki thi… jiski vazah shayad meri pichhali robbery ho sakti hai.. waise bhi last time jise maine loota tha, wo kafi rahis tha aur baar-baar mujhe dhamki de raha tha ki wo mujhe chhodga nahi… mere khayal se usi ne police ko latada hoga jiske baad Police raat me NH-6 ko lekar itni satark ho gayi thi, nahi toh pahle mushqil se ek raat me ek-do gasht hee police wale lagate the, par aaj toh unhone kamal hee kar diya tha…

“ye hai paachwa round and as per my observations, Police ka next round 20-25 minute ke baad hoga…”ped ke peechhe se police ki jeep ko jata dekh maine hisab lagaya..

Main ghanto se apne bas ek shikar ki taalash me tha ki kaise karke bas ek ko pakad loon, waise bhi aaj-kal jis hisaab se mere kharche hai mujhe ye toh karna hee padega...wo udhar se ek bike aa rahi hai… 

“police ko gaye hue abhi 5 minute hee hue hai… ise salta sakta hoon main…”
kahkar main sadak me aaya aur jis taraf se bike aa rahi thi, usi taraf apna chehra roomal se baandhkar daudne laga aur bike se thodi door pahle ruk-kar bina samay gawaye apne jacket se katta nikala aur bike ke tyre ko nishana banakar fire kiya…

“dhat…. phhir se hath hil gaya..”

Mera nishana chuka aur Ab bike wala bhi jaan gaya tha ki main uske sath kya karna chahta hoon isliye usne apni speed thodi kam karke jaha par tha wahi se bike modne laga… use aisa karta dekh us par nishana banakar main uski taraf dauda aur wo apni bike puri tarah mod pata us-se pahle hee kafi karib aakar maine uske pichhe wale tyre me ek bullet ghusa di…

Jis pal bullet us bike wale ke tyre me ghusi usi pal wo bike samet wahi gir gaya aur ghisat-te hue sadak ke kinare ja pahucha…..

“10 minutes hai mere paas…”us bike wale ki taraf bhagte hue maine ghadi me time dekhkar khud se kaha aur uske paas jaate hee sabse pahle uske thobde me ek laat mari…

uska ek pair bike ke neeche daba hua tha, is karan wo jaal me fasi us machhali ke saman tha jo sirf fudak sakti hai…kar kuch nahi sakti.wo bhi jaal me fasi usi machhali ke saman gusse se bilakh raha tha, lekin jaise hee maine uske thobde me jamkar ek laat mari, uska sar road se takraya aur wo shant ho gaya… 

“hello… how are you… sorry , mere paas jyada time nahi hai…”uske jacket se uska wallet nikalte hue maine kaha “tumhe nahi maloom par main kafi entertaining hoon… tumhe apna show kabhi aur dikhaunga…filhal ke liye tu mujhe bas apne hath ki angoothi mujhe de de… asali sona hai na..”

“fake gold hai…”

“I like fake gold…”uska hath pakad kar uski ungaliyo se angoothi nikalne ki koshish karte hue maine kaha…lekin usne apni hatheli mod li… jise seedha karne ke liye maine paas me pada ek lakdi ka tukda uthaya hua aur uski ungaliyo par do-teen baar jor-jor se mara , itna jor se ki uske hath se khoon nikalne laga , par ab uski ungaliya seedhi ho gayi thi ya phhir kahu ki apni ungaliyo ko modne me use itna dard ho raha tha ki wo apni ungaliya mod hee nahi paya aur maine uske hath se sone ki angoothi bhi nikal li aur phhir uske gardan ki chain kheech kar waha se gayab ho gaya…
.

“le..le...le..le.. maja re ,le…le..le…le maja re… ye kya, River view colony ke bahar police…shit”

Colony ke entrance me police ki jeep dekhkar road se kinare hua aur thoda peechhe ek dukan ki aad lekar police ki harqato par nazar rakhne laga… lekin police ki jeep jab bahut der tak waha se nahi gayi toh main dukan ki tek lekar wahi zameen me baitha aur mobile me thermodynamics ka pdf kholkar formulae yaad karne laga… maine kayi formulae yaad kiye jis dauran ek aisa topic aaya jise dekhkar main soch me pad gaya… kyunki ye wahi topic tha jiske dauran main aur Arun class me baithe-baithe college ki ladkiyo ke baare me baad kar rahe the aur yadi meri yaddasht sahi hai toh wo 4th semester tha shayad…

“hey Arun…”bench par khisakte hue maine genuine tarike se Arun ka abhinandan kiya aur use baithne ke liye jagah di….

“chusega…”mere bagal me na baithkar mere parallel me jo ek bench thi usme baith-te hue Arun ne kaha

“haan…chusunga, khol”

“pagal hai kya lawde…”

“thoda-thoda…”

“waise kya tujhe hai pata ki…. Mera matlab, kya tujhe pata hai ki… CS branch me ek nayi ladki aayi hai, tune use dekha…? Ekdum karri maal hai.ekdum…matlab ye bade-bade doodh hai uske…pakka bahut log se chudwayi hogi wo…aise… dekh”apne dono hath se apni chhati ko samet kar Arun bola “dekh aise…aise hee wo bahut log ka lund apne dono doodh ke beech me li hogi…samajh aaya ? abey bf me jaise hota hai…”

“maine nahi dekha use abhi tak…”

“nahi dekha… abey dekha hoga. uska muh bhi mast bada hai.. main toh use dekhte hee samajh gaya tha ki wo do-do ladko ka lund ek sath chus sakti hai… uske honth bhi ekdum sexy hai, use chodne ke baad uske honth me mutth girane me mast maza aayega”

“nahi dekha…”

“Esha se fursat milegi tab na dekhega…waise Esha se yaad aaya, kal maine use Gautam ke sath mall me dekha tha… tu yakin nahi karega par dono wo jhat si film hai na… name yaad nahi… wo dekhne gaye the aur BC un logo ne fb me status bhi dala tha… kitna kharab taste hai be teri maal ka… yuck…. Is-se acha toh mera lund dekh lete dono… hostel me. Free me balcony show dikhata un dono ko…”

nice one”Arun ko chup karane ke liye maine fb like wala symbol dikha kar kaha

“tu dekhega ? mera balcony show…kya hua, bur maan gaya kya, abey bol na… dekhega… tu toh bur maan gaya ”

“main yadi bur maan gaya na toh tera bur hee faad dalunga…”thoda tez aawaz me maine Arun se kaha.

Meri aawaz abki baar thoda tez thi , jiski vazah se mere aas-paas baithe ladke yaha tak ladkiya bhi hasne lagi… ab Mechanical department me kaun ladke aur kaun ladkiya…  aur waise bhi us samay mere mahan banne ki process chalu thi, isliye main ladko aur ladkiyo ke beech me koyi bhed-bhav nahi karta tha…bole toh chhutta class me laad-gand karta tha… main jitni gali ladko ko deta tha utni gali ladkiyo ko bhi deta tha… shayad thoda jyada hee…

Toh meri wo bur faad dene wali line sunkar mere agal wale, bagal wale , aage wale….peeche wale. Nahi peechhe wale nahi, kyunki sabse aakhiri bench par toh main hee baitha tha… wo sab hasne lage… jiske karan us samay class me mauzood Vibha mam, jise dekhkar mujhe aksar aisa lagta tha ki shayad main uska crush hoon…. usne mujhe khada kiya aur puchha ki ye peechhe kya ho raha hai….
Ab Vibha mam se mera relation toh kafi logo ko pata tha ki kaise first year me pahle usne meri ragging li thi aur phhir MTL bhai(Sidar) ki help se maine uski li thi… uske baad maine uske sath A walk to the jungle ka khel bhi khela tha aur ab wo humare college me daily basis ke taur par mauzood thi… par kabhi-kabhi main sochta hoon ki us din maine I mean Version 2.0 ne Vibha ko jungle me choda kyun nahi ? jabki mera raasta saaf tha aur ulte ragging ke case me un sabko andar karwa sakta tha lekin maine police ka sahara kyun nahi liya…? mere khayal se wahi ek aisa incident tha jisne college me Shri Arman ke varchasva ki neev rakhi… main choot ka bahut pyasa hoon aur gand ka bhi…. toh phhir maine us din Vibha ko kyun chhod diya ? 

Got it…actually main us samay transition position me tha , yani ki normal insaan se mahan ban raha tha aur mera wo nirnay is baat ka proof hai ki tum Arman ko choot dikhakar ya phhir do botal daru dikhakar kharid nahi sakte kyunki un dino bahut logo ki mere prati ye dharna thi ki Arman ko bas do peg daru pilao, jiske baad Arman wo sab karega jo tum us-se karwana chahte ho… aise kayi chutiye the jo aisa sochte the aur jo ab bhi aisa sochte hai unhe mera khulla challenge hai ki wo meri zindagi ka ek bhi aisa incident le aaye jab maine daru ke liye kuch kiya ho…I dare you… I double dare you.

Toh main kaha tha…? haan, mujhe Vibha mam ne class se bahar fek diya tha aur main usko continue na karke ye sab sochne laga tha, waise bhi ye sab live toh ho nahi raha toh phhir mere dimag me chalti memories ke liye samay ki kya boundation ? main jab chahu, jaha chahu…jis jagah chahu…apne dimag me past events ko pause karke kuch aur kar sakta hoon aur phhir kuch samay baad wahi se resume maar sakta hoon… in short, time ki koyi boundation nahi…. 
.
Toh us din Jab Vibha mam ne mujhe class se nikala tha… nahi actually jaha last time maine incident chhoda tha waha par Vibha mam ne mujhe sirf khada karke puchha tha ki…peeche aisa kya hua jo sab is tarah has rahe hai par indirectly Vibha mam jo mujhse puchhna chahti thi wo ye ki “ kyun be bhosdiwale, abki baar tune kya kiya… burchatte”

“mam, wo Arun mujhse gandi-gandi baate kar raha hai…bolta hai ki mujhe balcony show dikhayega..”

“silent…..”hasti hui class ko shant karate hue Vibha mam boli “balcony show ? ye kya hai…”

“wo main aise sabke saamne nahi bata sakta…”

“jab tum class me raho aur teacher padha raha ho toh aisi baate bilkul bhi discuss mat karo…jo phhir teacher ke saamne bata na sako. Kitna simple hai ye rule ! jo maine apne first class me hee bataya tha… phhir bhi. tum wo baat abhi mujhe bataoge ya phhir lunch me hod ko… choice tumhari hai”

“hod ko…..”maine kaha “wo kya hai na mam….ki, jab insult karwani hee hai toh thoda bade aadmi se karwate hai… daily basis walo se toh main baat bhi nahi karta toh phhir unse insult karwana toh bahut door ki baat hai”

“no excuse…”

“excuses are good, they give hopes…”

“then get out and go, find your hopes because at the lunchtime you’re gonna need it…”

“happiness is going outside the class…”apne bench se nikalte hue maine khud se kaha ,jispar Arun ne ek comment kiya “lavda le le…ab” 

jise Vibha mam se share karte hue maine kaha ki “ mama…ye mujhe… Lele …Lele …pakad le…pakad le…. Bol raha hai…”

“tum logo ne meri class ko kya bana kar rakha hua hai… Arun, out”

“par maaaaam….”

“just get lost, warna sandel utar kar marungi…”

Aur is tarah present me mere mobile me mauzood ek pdf ke ek chhote se formula ko dekhkar main kayi saalo ka safar karke , time ki boundations ko tod-fod ke ateet me apne Engineering ke second year me ek class se bahar aaya, jaha mere peechee-peechhe Arun bhi aaya…. waise Vibha mam ne hum dono ko class ke bahar khade rahne ke liye kaha tha lekin maine Arun ko dabocha aur use Canteen ki taraf le jaane laga….

“kya lawda, tere chakkar me aaj hod chodega mujhe…”

“tujhe pata hai , main future se aaya hoon and trust me aisa kuch bhi nahi hoga… class ke baad Vibha mujhe call karegi aur phhir matter sulajh jayega… don’t worry…”saamne se aati ek item ko dekhkar maine goggle nikalne ke liye apne jeb me hath dala….par goggle mere jeb me tha hee nahi…. 

“ye kaise mumkin hai BC, main ek baar apna lund room me bhool sakta hoon lekin goggle nahi… goggle lagane ke baad hee toh meri creativity jagti hai… kaha bhool gaya main… ye maal bhi nikal gayi aur ise line bhi nahi de paya main….Arun… tune mera goggle dekha…dekhaaa…dekhaaaaa…. Bhosdiwale, chotte, mere jeb se goggle nikal kar tu pahna hai aur idhar main pareshan hoon… wo ladki bhi nikal gayi…anyway, phhir se peechhe chalte hai…”

Maine class se bahar aakar canteen me jaane wala incident dobara shuru se play kiya aur abki baar maine class se nikalte hee goggle laga liya tha…

“kya lawda, tere chakkar me aaj hod chodega mujhe…”

“tujhe pata hai , main future se aaya hoon and trust me aisa kuch bhi nahi hoga…class ke baad Vibha darling mujhe call karegi aur phhir matter sulajh jayega…don’t worry…”

“kya lawda, tere chakkar me aaj hod chodega mujhe…”

“bola toh ki sab sulajh jayega…trust me, I’ve seen the future…”

“kya lawda, tere chakkar me aaj hod chodega mujhe…”

“kaan me Divya ne moot diya kya….”

“kya lawda, tere chakkar me aaj hod chodega mujhe…”

“ajeeb chodu hai be bhosdiwale…teri cd kaha atak gayi…”

Maine apne aaju-baju dekha tab mujhe pata chala ki actually cd Arun ki nahi balki meri atki hui thi….maine dekha ki hum dono aage jaane ke liye kadam toh badha rahe hai, par aage badh nahi rahe… hum dono bas wahi par atak gaye the aur tab mujhe samjah aaya ki jaise hee maine future wali baat ki time ne mere ghadi ki sui hee atka di thi…

bole toh “kya lawda, tere chakkar me aaj hod chodega mujhe…”

Ye humare conversation ki aakhiri line thi aur uske baad jo maine kaha wo sab bas aise hee kahi kho gaya tha, Arun ne use suna tak nahi… ek akshar bhi nahi… isliye main ab chup raha aur bas….chup heee raha…..

Par ye toh flashback tha na…? phhir main yaha kaise fas sakta hoon ya phhir ye time travel hai ? yani ki……… mere lawde lage hue hai.

main taqriban ek ghante tak wahi, waise hee repeat steps marte hue khada raha aur phhir ek ghante baad humare kadam aage badhna shuru ho gaye…. 

“Arman, yar ek maal patwa na… kam se kam ek kiss hee dila de yar, kuch toh maza le loon zindagi ka… waise bhi Engineering ke baad zindagi jhat hone wali hai…”

“ek Engineer ko kabhi ladki ke peechhe nahi bhagna chahiye… tu railway ke exams ki taiyari kar…kyunki baki toh tujhse kuch hone nahi wala aur ye ladki-wadki chhod…”

“why”

“first, a Girl will become the reason of your distraction and then destruction… daru is better than girls…. cigarette piyega ?”
.

River view colony ke gate se police aadhe ghante me gayi, pata nahi wo River View ke hawaldar…I mean chaukidar…I mean guard se kya puchh-tachh kar rahi thi.par jo bhi puchh-tachh kar rahi thi..mujhe ek baat toh clear ho gayi thi ki abhi us Guard ko ye nahi maloom chalna chahiye ki main abhi bahar hoon, isliye maine… main gate se andar na jakar colony ki 8 feet lambi deewar kood kar andar jaane ka socha…..

“people are bad…”deewar me chadhkar maine kaha….

“why…”
“people are bad, they waste my time… ab police ko hee dekh le, yadi police yaha nahi aayi hoti toh main is waqt apne room me baithkar biryani kha raha hota…”

“tu non-veg khane laga, congrats…”

“veg-biryani….”

“main bhi khaunga…”

“isiliye toh do full plate order kiya hai… waise main teen karne wala tha. ek Aradhna ke liye bhi…lekin uska kuch bharosa nahi ki wo kab aati hai aur kab jati hai… aaj toh sixth door bhi gayab hai… isliye phhir teesara plate cancel karwa diya par yadi wo aa gayi toh ?”

“aa gayi toh kya, ladki hee toh hai…kitna khayegi.. do-do chammach de denge usko…”

“hmm.. nice….”E-5 ke saamne se guzarte hue maine kaha “yar , Vandana Mam so gayi hongi kya…”

“aur nahi toh kya ?”

“use jakar uthau kya…”

“no… police case kar degi..”

“phhir utha hee deta hoon…”

“abey nahi…”

“chup be… mera kya ukhad legi wo aur yadi jyada natak ki toh maarkar yahi aas-paas gaad dunga…kisi ko hawa bhi nahi lagega….”

“par pahle gaddha toh khod le…warna baad me kisi ne gaddha khodte hue dekh liya toh… waise bhi subah hone wali hai”

“itna tension kyun leta hai, tujhe kya lagta hai ki main ye sab aise hee karta hoon… abey mera har movement jo main karta hoon wo sab pre-planned hote hai aur yadi mere plan me Vandana Rathi ki maut likhi hogi toh maregi aaj Sali…”

Main Vandana Rathi ke boundary wale gate aur zameen ke beech wale gap se sarak kar andar gaya aur koodkar style se ek laat Vandana Rathi ke darwaje par mari….

“yee Raaand , Vandana…”hijdo jaisi aawaz nikal kar maine kaha aur thik usi prakar tali mari jis prakar hijde train me marte hai…

“aeeee, Randi Rathi…. Denaa…”uchak kar phhir se ek laat Vandana Rathi ke gate me marte hue maine kaha… “gate khol de Rathi, warna teri pond me garam rod chhua dungi main…”

Ektaraf idhar main tha ki acting pe acting kiye jaa raha tha aur dusari taraf Vandana Mam thi ki darwaja kholne ka naam hee nahi le rahi thi… darwaja na khole… kam se kam koyi aahat toh ho… par jab aisa kuch bhi nahi hua toh khunnas me main peechhe gaya aur full raftaar me daudkar gate ko takkar dekar todne ka socha… 

“dekh, abhi apun yaha se full speed me jayega aur gate ko todte-fodte andar entry marunga… kyunki main darwaja todne ke baad zameen me girunga aur us samay koyi mujhpe attack karke mujhe maar na de…isliye zameen me neeche girte hee main dhada-dhad goliya chalana shuru kar dunga… ready ?”

“as always”

Maine boundary ki deewar se full speed pakdi aur full speed me Vandana Rathi ke gate ki taraf bhaga…. mujhe puri ummid thi ki is-se mera kaam ho jayega aur Vandana mam ke gate ko tod-fod kar main seedhe andar daakhil ho jaunga… lekin jab main ye karnama kar raha tha yani jab main boundary wall ko chhookar gate ki taraf bhaga tabhi is dauran gate ki taraf bhagte hue mera pair ghas me fisla aur mera jo angle of projection tha wo thoda sa divert ho gaya jiski vazah se main gate se na takra kar muh aur kandhe ke bal deewar se takraya….

“behan…….chod….”apne thobde ko pakad kar dabate hue maine kaha…

Meri halat is samay bahut nazuk thi… khair wo toh har waqt hoti hai par is samay seriously meri halat bahut kharab thi aur aise me Vandana Rathi ke flat me halchal hui… par mujhme ab itni himmat nahi thi ki main hil bhi saku… mere sharir ke pure purje is waqt dharashayi ho gaye the aur mere dimag ne bhi mera sath chhod diya tha upar se police ke siren ki aawaz ne mere sharir me kapkapi paida kar di…

“aaj toh gaye thik tarike se… ab police pahle mujhe pakdegi aur phhir mere room ki taalashi legi jisme use bullets aur chori ki hui jwellery milegi aur phhir mera kaam tamam…. Vandana ne bhi kya kamal ka game khela, khud darwaja kholne ke bajay police ka number dial kar diya… bas chand minutes me police wale yaha honge aur main jail me…”

“common yar…uth yaha se aur boundry se palti maarkar apne boundary me entry maar….”

“mushqil hai… kyunki jab tak main taala khol kar andar ghusunga police wale mujhe dekh lenge”

“koshish toh kar…nahi dekhenge…”

“tujhe kaise pata…”

“trust me, I have seen the future….”

“chal phhir thodi help kar…mere bas ki baat nahi hai ab”

“installing Shri Arman version 2.0 ….”

“permission granted…”

Chapter-22: Sharda Enterprises-2

Aur phhir maine apne andar bachi-kuch energy store ki aur pura jor lagakar utha aur boundary koodkar E-5 se E-6 me aaya…. Girte-padte jaldi-jaldi me maine room ka gate khola aur phhir andar jakar turant gate band kiya….

“dekha bola tha na…”

“chup be, uninstalling 2.0…”
.

Mere kandhe ka toh bura haal tha hee par mujhe fikar mere thobde aur thuddi ki thi, jisme kayi jagah khoon jam gaya tha par mere beard ke karan wo dikh nahi raha tha… mere mathe par left side me bhi halke-fulke zakhm ke nishan the, jinpar maine band aid bandha aur painkiller khakar do ghante baad jab suraj nikla toh apni chhat par pahucha….. chhat par abhi mast thandi-thandi hawa chal rahi thi isliye main wahi chhat me rakhi chair par baitha aur E-5 ki taraf dekhne laga….. E-5 ke kitchen ki khidki khuli hui thi aur us khuli hui khidki me se Vandana Rathi mujhe saaf-saaf nazar aa rahi thi… meri nazar khidki se hote hue jaise hee Vandana Rathi ke nightgown aur nightgown ke uske ubhar par padi toh mujhe yaad aaya ki kal sham ko toh mujhe Vandana Rathi ko jawab dena tha ki main Sharda Enterprises dobara join karunga ya nahi….

“phhir se bhool gaya… abhi jaun…? Ya na jaun…. Rahne de, kahi chamkane na lage…. Waise bhi bahut ghamand hai usko….”

“yaar… bhad me gaya sab kuch, Rathi ke paas chale jata hoon…”khada hokar maine kaha aur ahista-ahista apne flat se nikalkar ahista-ahista Rathi ke flat me daakhil hua…. matlab ekdum flat ke andar nahi… bas boundary ke andar jakar us gate ke paas pahucha, jise todne ki koshish me kal raat main toot gaya tha… maine darwaje par aaram se dastak di….

“Arrrmaaan…. Good……Morning…”gate kholkar pause lete hue VR boli…

“itni jyada spelling mistake, wo bhi mere name me…anyway, Good morning to you too..”

“tumhari shakl ko kya hua…”

“basketball practice…”

“really ?”happiness aur shocking wale expression ek sath dete hue Vandana mam boli “I love basketball… tum sach me basketball khelte ho…”

“khelta hoon ?... bitch please, I am a national player”

“mujhe , lip reading nahi aati…isliye jo bolna hai… sound effect ke sath bolo…”

“khelta hoon ? mam… main national player hoon…”

“oh great… common come on in…”mujhe andar aane ka prastaav dekar Vandana Rathi boli

“kamal hai, main itne din se Vandana Rathi ke flat me ghusne ke liye itne tikadam-tikdi kar raha tha , par ye toh mujhe aise hee aane de rahi hai…pahle pata hota toh kal raat wala accident toh nahi hota…”andar Vandana mam ke ghar ko aur ghar ki ek-ek chiz ko gaur se dekh kar maine socha… “isne kya maintain karke rakha hai ghar ko, akele sofa hee 4-5 lakh ka hoga, lagta hai…wah yar, itna mahanga aur achchha sofa toh mere ghar me bhi nahi tha aur na hee Varun ke ghar me… kafi maaldar party hai ye… aur shayad kunwari bhi hai… isi se shadi kar loon kya…? Boss ko chod raha hoon ye sochkar sex karte waqt uttejana bhi badhegi , mera lund toh abhich khada ho gaya. upar se main aisi ladkiyo ke prati jyada attracted rahta hoon jo ekdum hot ho aur ghamandi bhi… ise jab zameen kutiya banakar chodunga toh kitna maza aayega us waqt mujhe aur jab iske muh me mutth marunga tab toh….. aaahhhh…..”

“coffee…? ”

“do cup…”

“do cup…? ”

“psychological problem, aap nahi samjhogi…”

“toh phhir samjhao… apna talent dikhao…”

“tujhe toh main kuch aur dikhaunga…”

“maine kaha na ki, mujhe lip reading nahi aati…”

“wo actually, mujhe lagta hai ki jab main school me tha tab main… main nahi tha tab koyi aur mere sharir me tha… jo ab ye sharir chhodkar ja chukka hai par school ki tamam yaadein de gaya hai… use main Arman 1.0 kahta hoon… phhir main college me pahucha aur meri puri life change ho gayi… mera behaviour… mera baat karne ka andaaz, kisi bhi situation me mera reaction… sabkuch kafi unexpected tarike se bahut jaldi change hua… jo ki school wale Arman se bahut jyada alag tha isliye maine use dusara Arman mana…yaani ki Arman 2.0 aur ab yani ki college ke baad main kitna badla ye toh mujhe nahi maloom par meri life bahut jyada badli aur usi ke sath me main bhi… isliye maine…”

“Arman 3.0”

“haan latest version yahi hai par sochane wali baat ye hai ki Arman 2.0 ab bhi mere andar hai, main us-se baat karta hoon… uski salaah leta hoon vagerah-vagerah…actually main kahna ye chah raha hoon ki mujhe aisa feel hota hai jaise mere sharir toh ek hai lekin atma do hai… ya phhir mera sharir kisi mobile ki tarah hai, dual sim supported I mean dual soul supported…. ”

“Version two and Version three… intereting, very interesting”apni hasi rokne ki koshish karte hue Vandana mam ne do cup coffee mere saamne rakh kar boli “ye left wali Version 2.0 ke liye aur right wali 3.0 ke liye…how funny is that...you’re lying , right ?”

“maine pahle hee kaha tha ki ye sab psychological baatein hai, aap nahi samjhogi…”Vandana Rathi ko haste hue dekh maine mayoos hokar kaha aur dono coffe ke cup ek sath uthakar bari-bari se ek ke baad ek cup ka coffee peene laga…

“okay…okay… kaam par aate hai… tum Shardaa…”

“main join karunga…”uski baat puri hone se pahle hee maine kah diya aur phhir jab mujhe ye ralize hua toh maine socha ki…abey ye maine kya kah diya… mera plan toh Vandana Rathi ke is offer ko reject karne ka tha… phhir maine…. what the fuck… ab kya karu… version 2.0 ? bhai…help

“wahi bol de….sorry main , join nahi kar sakta ,wo toh aapke doodh dekhkar flow-flow me… join karunga, muh se nikal gaya…”

“no…never..”

“mujhe lagta hai, lip reading ka course kar hee lena chahiye..kyun ?”mujhe beech me tok kar Rathi mam boli “waise mujhe achchha laga ki tumne humara offer swikar kar liya… mujhe laga nahi tha ki tum dobara join karoge”

“ache log isliye ache nahi hote kyunki wo sirf apne bare me acha sochate hai”

“iska kya matlab ?”

“kuch nahi…dialogue tha, so mar diya… warna bhool jata… bhool toh main waise ab bhi jaunga par atleast ab kahi darj toh rahega…”

Maine apni ungali(index) Vandana Rathi ke seene ki taraf ki aur phhir jaise hee mujhe hosh aaya toh maine turant hee us ungali ko chatkate hue puchha“mam, aap doodh kaha se leti hai..”

“sorry ?”

“doodh… milk… wo doctor ne doodh ke sath tablet khane ko kaha hai toh…”

“mere paas uska number hai… wo main tumhe de sakti hoon..”

“thank you mam, toh kab se join kar sakta hoon main…”

“abhi tumhari haalat mujhe thik nahi lag rahi…abhi tum kuch din rest karo… main tumhe inform kar dungi…”

“I’m fine… main aaj se hee join kar leta hoon…”khade hokar maine kaha 

Sharda Enterprises:- mere sapno ka jahaan… jaha main formal dress me baith kar computer ke saamne kaam karta, jaha logo ko meri kabiliyat ki parakh hoti…wo meri izzat karte… mera samman karte aur ek hot si sexy si…. Lady boss.. jo mujh par fida ho…. ye tha mere bachpan ka mera sapna jo Bollywood filmo ko dekhkar maine dekha tha aur phhir jaise-jaise meri umra badhi aur mera rujhan Hollywood ki taraf shift hua toh is sapne ko jaise main kahin bhool hee gaya tha… par aaj Sharda Enterprises ke bathroom ke aaine me khud ko dekhkar jab maine pant ki chain band ki toh mujhe mere bachpan ka wo sapna yaad aaya…..

“tabhi main sochu ki maine haan kyu kar diya… toh ye sab maine apne bachpan ke sapne ko sakar karne ke liye kiya aur ye sach bhi hua… lekin phhir main khush kyun nahi hoon ”aaine me khud ko dekhkar maine kaha “ye formal dress utni buri bhi nahi hai… ekdum tight fitting hai… kitna jach rela hoon main..upar se tie lagaunga toh… toh Sharda Enterprises me kaam karne wali ladkiya toh mere kapde hee faad dalengi aur mera lund nikal kar choosne lagegi…”

Jeb se nikalkar maine tie…tie ki aur phhir full role me bathroom se nikalkar apni seat ki taraf jaane laga… Office me kaam karne wale adhiktar youngsters the aur hum sab ek-dusare ko by name toh nahi par by face zaroor jaante the… toh is tarah ye probability bhi banti hai ki by face kuch log mujhe bhi jaante honge aur kyunki main aaj itne din baad unhe dekh raha tha shayad isiliye wo sab mujhe thoda ghoor kar dekh rahe the… actually ghoor ka nahi dekh rahe the, sirf dekh rahe the… lekin maine sabko ignore mara aur aage badhta raha… badhta raha aur itna aage badh gaya ki mujhe ghoomkar wapas peechhe aana pada… is dauran maine dekha ki office ki me kaam karne wali kuch khobbsurat aur badsurat ladkiya water cooler ke paas paani peete hue aapas me ek-dusare se baat kar rahe the 

“Sali, sab rakhail hai…sab Ganga-Jamuna me jakar gand marwati hai… inki maa ko chod dalu… chhinar Sali… dil toh karta hai ki ek-ek ke gand me katta dalkar inke gand me goli maru… wo bahanchod corner wali kaise phone me apne dalal se baat kar rahi hai… zaroor kutiya aaj raat ka apna programme fix kar rahi hogi… sab Sali randiya hai… kaise maadharchodo ne itne kam-kam kapde pahan ke rakhe hai… aisa hee chalta raha toh kuch din baad toh ye nangi hee office aayengi… dayichod… mera katta abhi bag me hai nahi toh teen-char ko toh abhiyech khallas kar dalta… inki maa ka pakoda… bhosdiwaliya… aur wo white shirt wali, jo right corner me baithi hai, kaise office me kaam karne wale Jagat ke upar chilla rahi hai… us lawdi ko samajhna chahiye ki yadi wo Jaggu itna hee padha likha hota toh kya yaha wo peon ki hasiyat se hota…Sali anpadh ,gawar… mujhse bhide toh main uski dayya-mayya chod dun aur ye lawde water cooler ke paas kab se khade hai, madarchod ladki kya paa gaye, water cooler ko hee apna lovers point bana liya inhone… yaha kaam karne aate hai ya muchodi karne... mujhe samajh nahi aata ki log meri tarah pure professional kyun nahi hote… Main yaha ka Boss ya Manager hota toh in sabke pichhwade me chabuk mar-mar ke inka pichhwada laal kar deta… lekin mujhe kya, maa chudaye ye log aur ye company… main toh bas apna chutiyapa katne yaha aaya hoon… jo ki kat raha hai… baki rest is waste… sale chhote log… I hate them... all of them”

Apni tie ko tight karte hue main apni seat par baitha aur software se machine parts ki design check karne laga… main bahut der tak bina kisi se baat kiye silently apna kaam karta raha aur phhir jab mujhe pyas lagi toh maine apni gardan uthakar Jagat ko aawaz di… jo ki door ek ladki ke paas file lekar khada hua tha….

“file wahi rakh de aur ek glass paani lekar aa…”ishare se maine Jagat ko kaha, jiske jawab me Jagat ne mujhe do ungaliya dikhayi… yani ki do minutes.

Isliye main wapas apne kaam me lag gaya lekin jab thodi der baad bhi Jagat paani lekar nahi aaya toh mera matha thanka aur abki baar maine thode uche aawaz me Jagat ko aawaz di….

“Jagat, come here…”

“mam se shikayat kar dungi yadi tu yaha se hila bhi toh… main bahut important kaam kar rahi hoon aur jise chay, coffee peeni hai wo khud uthkar pee le, pata nahi kaha-kaha se recruitment me bhar lete hai inhe… kuch aata-jata toh hai nahi, company ki Tea-coffee peekar bas masti marte rahte hai… tu yahi khada rah… samjha.”

“ye kya tha be…?”us ladki ki aawaz , jiske paas files ka bandal pakad kar Jagat khada tha , uski aawaz sunkar maine khud se kaha “isne kya wo sab mujhe kaha ? nahi… mujhe kaise kah sakti hai… mujhe toh wo jaanti bhi nahi aur bina jaane-pahchane koyi apne fellow worker ko kaise itna sab kuch kah sakta hai… nahi… nahi , usne ye mujhse nahi kaha hoga… kisi aur se kaha hoga…Jaggu…? Jaggu se kaha hoga… par usne toh kisi aur ko indicate karke kaha tha aur wo… koyi aur nahi… balki main tha…”

“lol, itni bhari insult… peechhe dekh kaise sab log tujhe dekh kar has rahe hai… jaa bathroom me mutth maar kar mar jaa… 2.0 se bada samajh raha tha na khud ko ? ab kya hua, bolti band ho gayi…”

“usne wo sab mujhe nahi kisi aur ko kaha…”

“achchha jab Jaggu aayega tab us-se puchh lena…”

Jab se meri dusari antaratma ne mujhe ye ahsaas karaya tha ki us ladki ne mujhe chamkaya hai tabhich se mere dil ki dhadkane tez hone lagi thi… mera sharir kanpne laga tha. main ek pal nervous hota toh dusare pal pratishodh ka magma mere andar dahakne laga… mujhe maloom hai ki main bahut sahasi hoon aur maine apna ye sahas samay-samay par dikhata bhi rahta hoon… pahle school me, phhir apne ghar me, phhir apne college me, phhir River View Colony me , phhir Vandana Rathi ke cabin me, phhir NH-6 me aur phhir Ganga-Jamuna me…. lekin ye office pata nahi mujhe kyun nervous kar raha tha, upar se mere peechhe baithe mere sathi workers ki hasi mujhe aur nervous kar rahi thi… sach kahu toh meri puri tarah fat chuki thi aur main bas office se kahi bhag jaana chahta tha… kahi bhi… phhir chahe wo mera ghar ho ya phhir Varun ka flat A-3… main is waqt kahi bhi jaa sakta tha bas office me nahi rahna chahta tha… jaise-jaise office me samay beet raha tha, mere dil ki dhadkane tez hoti jaa rahi thi aur kuch der baad toh main sharm ke maare apna sar uthakar aas-paas bhi nahi dekh paa raha tha… main chah raha tha ki kash ye sab sapna ho… kash ye sab mere dimag ki upaj ho aur aisa ho bhi sakta hai kyunki The Great Arman ki insult bhala koyi kaise kar sakta hai aur yadi usne kar bhi diya toh phhir The Great Arman kuch kar kyun nahi raha… ye sach me sapna hee hai… 100 %.
.

“sorry bhau, wo Princi mam aisi hee hai… do saal senior hai na toh sab par raub jhadte rahti hai… aaj aap ko sunna pad gaya… waise welcome back…”

“welcome back ke bachche… usne sach me mujhe hee batti di kya…”

“haan… waise aap mujhe kisliye bula rahe the…”

“jaa aur jaakar ek cup chay laa…”

Jagat jaldi se waha se gaya aur ek cup chay mere liye le aaya… iske baad wo smile marte hue mere paas hee khada ho gaya…

“kya…”usko aise smile marte dekh maine puchha

“aaj toh de hee do Arman bhai…”

“kya de du…”

“wahi…”

“chal bhag yaha se….ek toh sale,us laundi…kya name hai uska…”

“Princi…”

“haan, princi…ek toh us Princi se bezzati karwa di aur…. Chal ja paani lekar aa…”

Jagat ko toh hadka kar maine use paani lane ke liye bhej diya lekin mere andar ab bhi Princi aur uski kahi hui baat mere dil-o-dimag me ghoom rahi thi… actually main is chiz ko accept hee nahi kar paa raha tha ki kisi ne meri insult ki aur main us insult ko chup-chap sah gaya… apni insult toh maine Supritendent of Police ke saamne nahi sahi thi aur uske saamne Collector ke launde ki chhati par ek laat mara tha , wo bhi uske thane me… phhir aaj main kyun ghabra raha hoon… mujhe toh aisa feel ho raha hai jaise ki main hakla hoon aur us Princi ke saamne dialogues tak nahi bol paunga…kya sach me main hakla hoon…. Let me check…

“I’m Arrrrrr…rrman and my fav. Movie is Th…th..the Shawshank Redemption….dhat teri ki main toh sach me hakla raha hoon… ye bimari kab se lag gayi mujhe…”
______________________________

“chup be bhosdiwale… kab se dekh raha hoon, chutiyape pe chutiyape kiye jaa raha hain…I mean, soche ja raha hai… tujhse kuch nahi hoga… mujhe lead role me aane de…”

“denied… River View Colony ka kaand bhoola nahi hoon main…”

“soch le, phhir… tere fans kya sochenge.. wo toh jeete jee mar jayenge.. fans ko chhod, wo toh kisi tarah adjust bhi kar lenge…lekin tu… tu kaise rahega phhir… abhi kuch der me hee tera BP high aur low hone laga hai…tu insult hone ke sirf do minute ke andar hee hakla ban gaya toh phhir soch baad me tujhe kitni problem hogi… ek Aradhna kam hai kya jo tu aur aantarik samsyo ko bulava de raha hai… install me and everything will be okay…”

“sub soul 2.0 selected…”

“let’s begin the fun….”

Tab tak Jagat paani ka glass lekar aa chukka tha… maine paani ka glass uthaya aur pura pani gatak gaya… ab main ekdum normal feel kar raha tha… maine Princi ki taraf dekha, jaha se baithkar usne mujhe batti di thi , par wo waha nahi thi….

“wo kaha gayi be…”apni baah sikodte hue maine Jagat se puchha 

“kaun…”

“wahi…Princi…”

“wo udhar, thande pani wali machine ke paas hai”

“uske sath me jo ladka khada hai, jis-se wo baat kar rahi hai…wo kaun hai…”

“wo Princi mam ka boy-frend hai… badi mushqil se pati hai us-se, pati kya ye bolo Bhau ki bas loot rahi hai launde ko…”

“tujhe kya lagta hai hum dono me kaun jeetega…”

“muhchodi me ?”

“muhchodi me toh main use hara hee dunga… main shareerik ladai ki baat kar raha hoon, yadi by chance wo Princi ko bachane aaya toh use bhi marna padega na… isiliye… tujhe kya lagta hai… kaun jeetega…”

“kaun jeetega….”mujhe ek baar gaur se dekhkar Princi ke boyfriend se compare karte hue Jaggu ne kaha “barabar ki takkar lagti hai mujhe…”

“chal phhir, jhel lunga main…”apni ungaliya chatkate hue maine kaha aur apni gardan gol-gol ghumayi….

“phhir ho jaye aaj ”
.

Jab maine Princi se badla lene ka socha tha, tab wo water cooler ke paas thi aur sath me uska boyfriend bhi tha, lekin ab waha aur bhi do char log aa gaye the… wo waha bahut der tak khade rahe aur aapas me baat karte rahe… itne saare anjaan logo ko waha dekh main phhir se nervous hone laga… main chahta tha ki waha jitna kam bheed ho wo situation mere liye utni hee achchhi hogi. Main chahta tha ki jinka role is story me na ke barabar hai wo waha na hee rahe aur jald se jald waha se khisak jaye…. Par aisa sochane wala main waha akela nahi tha, waha ek aisa prani bhi tha…jise mujhse jyada jaldi thi….

“kya hua bade bhai… jao na…”

“chup be Haggu… sorry, Jaggu… dekh nahi raha waha kitne log hai aur sale, tujhe itni jaldi kyu hai be”

“wo ek hafte pahle us Princi mam ne apun ko sabke saamne ek thappad marela tha…”

“aur tune use chhod diya…?”

“apun complain kiyela tha Rathi mam ke paas, par unhone ulta apun ko hee warning de dali ki kaam karna hai toh dhang se karo… ab pet ka sawal tha nahi toh apun dikhata usko ki apun bhi apni gali ka sher hai”

“pet ka sawal tha ? abey bakchod… pet tu bheekh mang kar bhi bhar sakta hai, lekin jo izzat usne teri utari hai…. use tu kaha se layega…anyway, mujhe ab bhi halka-halka dar lag raha hai ki aage kya hoga … kahi main word-war me haar gaya toh ? word-war me aaj tak hara nahi hoon main”

“tu dar kyun raha hai…. tu bas khada ho aur style se unke paas jaa…. Baki apun hai na…”2.0 meri himmat badhate hue bola….

“pakka na…”

“100 %”

“chal phhir….”

Main apni seat se utha, goggle lagaya , shirt ki collar upar ki aur tie dheeli karte hue water cooler ki taraf badha…. Main is samay chewingum chabane ki acting kar raha tha taaki main cool lag saku…. Mujhe water cooler ke paas aata dekh Princi ke aas-paas khade laundo-laundiyo ko Princi se dheere se kuch kaha aur wo sab mujhe dekhkar hasne lage…. Main waha water cooler se thodi doori par ruka aur khada hokar chup-chap unhe dekhne laga… mujhe nahi pata ki unme se ek ladka jaan-buchkar mere aur water cooler ke raaste me khada tha ya phhir anjaane me… main uske paas gaya aur use dhakel kar bola….

“chal be, baju hat… aankh se bahra hai kya, dikhai nahi deta ki 4-D man aa raha hai aur by the way ye tum logo ka lovers point nahi hai…jo yaha khade hokar ek-dusare ko daant dikha rahe ho… baki workers ko, jo yaha kaam karne aate hai unhe problem hoti hai…yadi tum logo ko group sex karna hai toh kahi dusari jagah jakar karo aur tu sun be… tu aainda mere aur water cooler ke raaste me aaya na… toh sale aisa jhapad marunga na ki… teen tarike se mootega… thanda, garam aur gunguna…… pata nahi kaha-kaha se recruitment me bhar lete hai nallo ko… kuch aata-jata toh hai nahi, company ki Tea-coffee peekar bas masti marte rahte hai…”maine chilla kar kaha… actually chilla kar nahi normal hee kaha tha, jis-se aas-paas wale log bhi sun le aur upar tak baat bhi na pahuche….
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Ab yaha par mera ek sawal hai ki aap ek company join karte ho… gand faad mehnat karte ho… do-teen saal apne boss ki chat-te ho is aas me ki future me boss kaam aayega ya phhir promotion me aasani hogi aur Boss ye sab na bhi kare toh kam se kam office me chhutti lene me toh aasani hogi… phhir do saal baad aapki promotion hoti hai, aapke saamne new recruitment wale chhore-chhoriya aate hai… wo sab aapko sir-mam bolte hai aur wo aapki thik waise hee chat-te hai jaise aapne apne boss ka chata tha…jabki unhe maloom hota hai ki aapki chatne se unhe kuch nahi milega… wo toh aapke through company ka jo main boss hai wo uski chat rahe hote hai aur unhone is kaam ke liye aapko isliye chuna kyunki unhe pata hai ki aapse bada chattu is office me koyi nahi hai…. aap unhe baat-baat me chamkate ho…apna raub dikhate ho… bematlab hee unhe pareshan karte ho, unhe dara kar rakhte ho, thik waise hee jaise pahle college me senior, junior ko daba kar rakhte the… wo sab aapse darte hai aur us dar ke karan aapki izzat karte hai par ek din unhi me se ek ladka aapki us sari mehnat, sare dar, sari izzat par achanak se moot deta hai… kaisa lagega aapko ? I’m sure ki aapko gussa hee aayega us ladke par… par pahle aap shocked hoge ki BC kaise ek naya launda aapki izzat utar sakta hai… how it is possible ? aapki gand fat jayegi, aapko aisa lagega jaise kisi ne aapki gand me ek mota danda dala ho aur phhir us dande me jor se laat maar di ho… bole toh ghanghor bezzati
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Kuch yahi reaction waha water cooler ke paas mauzood un logo ka tha… wo sab apna muh faad ke mujhe dekhe ja rahe the . unke liye jaise samay rook sa gaya tha… ya phhir unke sharir se unki jaan yamraj ne kheech li thi… unka muh fata hua tha ur wo sab mujhe ghoor rahe the…. Aisa hee kuch haal, us hall me mauzood unke sathi aur mere sathio ka tha… matlab sab shocked the… yaha tak ki main bhi… main isliye shocked tha ki log itne shocked kyun hai. main waha thodi der ke liye khada raha aur intezaar karta raha ki shayad ab… ki shayad ab… ki ab… saamne se koyi reply aayega… lekin saamne se koyi reply nahi aaya.. jiski vazah se maine glass me paani liya aur waha se chalta bana….
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“hey you idiot… stop.”jab main paani ka glass lekar apne seat ki taraf ja raha tha toh mujhe peechhe se ek lady ki aawaz sunayi di…

“yes, bitch…”palatkar maine kaha.. nahi, palat kar nahi… balki palat-te hue kaha. dono me kafi antar hai

“tumne mujhe bitch kaha…”

“yes bitch…”

“main tumhari senior hoon… ye Sharda Enterprises ka head office hai aur tum yaha aisi cheap language ka istemaal kar rahe ho… anapadh… “

“language cheap nahi hoti, bhavnaye cheap hoti hai… bitch. For example, yadi main apne dost Arun se bolu ki bitch… toh wo bura nahi manega… lekin tum bura maan gayi… actually bhavnaye bhi cheap nahi hoti, log cheap hote hai aur tum……um-hmm”

“tujhe tameej nahi hai kya be, sale ek fight marunga na toh tera pura kriyakaram ho jayega… tu Princi mam se aise baat kaise kiya be… rook tu…”Jagat ke according jo ladka Princi ka boy-frend tha wo meri taraf badha aur jaise uske tevar the uske anusar toh ye ladayi hatha-payi ka roop dharan karne wali thi….

“sale, hum tere senior hai yaha… seniors ki respect karna seekh warna zindagi bhar yahi isi post me latka ke rakhunga tujhe…”

“tujhe itna dard kyun ho raha hai… anyway, jo mere se kam handsome hota hai us-se toh main baat hee nahi karta,isliye tu hat aur Princi janeman ko saamne bhej, kyun be second division… bahut udd rahi thi thodi der pahle… abey Sali tu Princi, 2nd division me paas hone wali.. tujhe toh main ek mukka aise dum lagakar marunga na ki teri ulti saans chalni lagegi… khud ko dekh.. ugly bitch, tere upar ke baal se jyada straight toh mere neeche ke baal hai aur tu mujhe hoshiyari de rahi thi…”

“look, I don’t know your name…”

“don’t worry, you’re gonna remember my name for your entire life.. aur tu launde… aainda se tu aukat me rahna warna isi office me ghaeet-ghaseet ke marunga, phhir jo ukhadna ho ukhad lena aur Princi janeman, ye chutiya tera boyfriend hai…thoo.. is-se acha toh Arun dikhta hai aur…. Arun bahut kharab dikhta hai… aise logo ko bhai banaya kar aur tu launde, ye jhat jaisi ladki teri girlfriend hai… thoo, is-se achchha toh Nisha ki saheliya dikhti hai jinhe dekhne tak ka mera mann nahi karta… iska figure dekh aur mujhe bata ki aisa kya hai isme jo tu itne dino se iske peechhe pada hai… is-se achchha toh tere peechhe wali hai, use line maar… shayad pat jaye…”

Princi aur uska so called boyfriend meri baat sunkar confuse ho gaye the mujhpar gussa kare ya kuch aur kare… unhe shayad samajh nahi aa raha tha ki main unki tareef kar raha hoon ya burayi… kyunki maine apna samay aur energy bachane ke liye ek sath ek hee samay me un dono ki tareef aur burayi sath me kar di thi… jiski vazah se ab wo dono hee confuse ho gaye the aur office ke baaki staff bhi… 

“ sala koyi level hee nahi hai, tum logo ka aur agli baar mujhse bhidne se pahle soch lena warna, lawda yadi munda kharab hua toh pel-pal dunga… phhir faltu me police case hoga, jiske baad main phhir se tumhe pelunga aur tab tak pelta rahunga jab tak tumlog mera chooskar mujhse sorry nahi bologe, isliye…… ”

Maine matter wahi khatm kiya aur matter waha par wakayi me khatm bhi ho gaya tha lekin pata nahi kisne jakar Vandana Rathi koi iski khabar de di ki meri mutth-bhed…I mean muthbhed office ke dusare workers se hui hai… isliye VR ne taqriban 3 baje , yaani ki ladayi khatm hone ke ek ghante baad ladayi me shamil sabhi logo ko apne cabin me bulaya….

Maine pahle-pahal toh socha ki Vandana mam mujhe cabin me bulakar pahle thoda sa batti degi aur phhir pyar se apni sexy aadao se mujhe samjha-bujhakar wapas bhej degi… maine Vandana mam ke cabin me sirf mere aur Vandana mam ke hone ki aasha ki thi, isliye pant ki dahini jeb ke andar apna dahina hath dalkar ahiste-ahiste lund sahlate hue main VR ke cabin ki taraf ravana hua lekin jab main waha pahucha yani ki jab maine cabin me pravesh kiya toh dekha ki waha already bahut bheed jama thi… waha Princi, uska boyfriend aur unke do-char wahi chutiye sathi the… 

“maine socha tha ki case close ho gaya…”un sabko waha dekhkar maine kaha 

“ab aap sab yaha se jao… main Arman se baat kar lungi…”
Vandana mam ne chhote role wale kirdaro ko waha se bahar bheja aur mujhe apne saamne wali chair me baithne ka ishara kiya…

“bolna shuru karo…”table par rakhi ek file ko uthakar Vandana Rathi boli aur spectacle lagakar file me apni nazre gada li..

“mujhe do ghante aur chahiye , abki baar design kafi complex hai aur kyunki main Gate ki preparation kar raha hoon, isliye main office ke baad koyi kaam nahi kar sakta… par aaj ke kaam ko main yahi khatm kar dunga aur kal subah ek baar check karke Yogi-jogi ko mail kar dunga aur uski ek copy aapko de dunga”

“tum mujhe bana rahe ho ya tumhe sach me koyi idea nahi hai ki maine tumhe yaha kyun bulaya hai ?”file se apni nazar hatakar meri taraf dekhte hue Vandana Rathi ne mujhe tana mara…

“mam main aapko ek story sunata hoon… mere dost kahte hai ki main bahut achchhi story sunata hoon…”

“go on”

“okay… toh, ek shaks…. jise raato ko neend nahi aati , jiska sar har samay ghoomte rahta hai, jo har samay is confusion me rahta hai aage use kya karna chahiye… jiske paas aisa ek bhi zinda insaan nahi jis-se wo baat kar sake… wo apna kaam puri imaandari se karta hai… toh ek din hota ye hai ki wo shaks jise do din se neend nahi aayi thi wo computer ke saamne baithkar apna kaam kar raha tha. do din se na sone ki vazah se uski aankhe jal rahi thi upar se computer ke screen ki light ? lekin phhir bhi wo apne kaam me juta raha kyunki ye kaam use, usne diya tha jiski wo bahut respect karta tha… infact wo apne boss ki itni jyada respect karta tha ki unke name ke samne R. lagane laga tha jaise ki R.Vandana mam yani Respected Vandana mam… toh us din wo unhi R. mam ka kaam kar raha tha… wo kayi ghanto se kaam kar raha tha, isliye uska gala bilkul sookh chuka tha par wo pyas sahta chala gaya kyunki yadi wo uthkar paani peene jaata toh uska flow bigad jata aur speed kam ho jati isliye usne apni pyas ko ignore kiya… lekin pyas toh pyas hai , yadi use samay par bujhaya nahi gaya toh samay ke sath wo kam nahi hoti balki aur badhti hai… aisich same uske sath bhi hua aur uski pyas badhti gayi lekin wo phhir bhi sahta gaya, reason wahi… R.mam aur jab uski pyas last stage me pahuchi yani ki jab paani peena ekdum anivarya ho gaya toh usne office me kaam karne wale peon ko aawaz di ki wo idhar aaye… lekin usi samay uski ek senior ne sirf apna raub jhadne ke liye us mehnati, imaandar aur kaabil shaks ko jhad diya aur yaha tak ye bhi bola ki use kuch aata-jata nahi… ab aapse mera ek sawal hai mam ki aap do raat se soyi nahi ho, aap apni bhookh-pyas sah kar puri lagan aur imaandari se apna kaam kar rahi ho aur aapko koyi ek glass paani ke peechhe bura-bhala bole toh aapka kya reaction hoga….? may i”Rathi mam ki table par rakhe pani ke botal ki taraf ishara karte hue maine puchha jispar unhone apna sar haan me hilakar sahmati di…

Maine pani ki botal uthayi aur gata-gat aadha botal gatak liya… Vandana mam ab meri taraf dekh rahi thi… wo is samy thoda shocked thi ki koyi insaan bhala kaise –aise baat kar sakta hai I mean koyi insaan bhala itna creative, itna talented, itna smart, itna handsome kaise ho sakta hai… Vandana mam yadi meri boss nahi hoti toh is samya wo zaroor daud kar mere paas aati aur apni gand mere taraf karke bolti ki… “le Arman… mar de aaj is Rathi ki gand”

wo yadi meri boss nahi hoti toh zaroor wo apne kapde faadkar apna doodh mujhe pilati ya phhir nangi hokar , apni taange failakar mujhe apni choot chatne ka nyota deti… par us randi ne apne emotions ko achchhe se control kiya… usne aisa kuch bhi nahi kiya aur na hee aisa kuch kaha…

“look around Arman , they all are waiting for my strict action against you… they all hate you…”

“so do I…….. by the way, people have tendacy to hate awesome man… If they hate you.let them hate...”

“let them hate…? Really…? why can’t you be normal like everyone else ? I mean often you behave like…”

“like….”

“ like you are a curmudgeon…”

“curmudgeon…? matbal”

“a bad-tempered” 

“you want me to be like them… behave like them…? Mam please , after seeing their faces you know what I think… I think killing people should not be considered as an illegal act..theyyyy…”

“kya hua…”

“pani ki botal…. pata nahi aaj khaaaaasi itni kyun aa rahi hai, shayad water cooler ka thanda pani peene ka asar hai…”gata-gat do peg paani marne ke baad maine kaha aur jab main botal wapas table par rakh raha tha tab mujhe ahsaas hua ki abki baar toh maine botal me muh laga kar paani piya hai

“sorry mam, jaldbazi me dhyan nahi aaya..”

“no…no…no problem, its okay..”

“toh kaha the hum…”wapas table par pani ki botal ki taraf hath sarkate hue maine puchha…

“ killing people should not be considered as an illegal act…”

“haan, inko dekho… ye sab subah uth-te hai, yaha kaam par aate hai, sham ko 5 baje ghar chale jate aur phhir sex karke so jate hai… kuch toh sex bhi nahi karte honge aur kuch toh sex karne ke kaabil bhi nahi honge… mera matlab for god sake, we are humans…. Not money or baby producing machines..Time is the most powerful weapon of mankind and what are we doing ? nothing… we are wasting it by doing 9 to 5 job…. I mean if you cant do something good then atleast do something bad… something different, something notable… something remarkable”

“very deep thoughts, it’s…it’s nice… let’s do something special today…”muskurate hue Vandana apna spectacle table par rakhte hue boli… “something special, something notable, something eye catching….”

“what…”

“how about apologize to Princi ? it will be very special, will be notable as well as remarkable… actually I have a offer for you…”

“iski maa ka prism… ye toh mujhse hee khel rahi hai, abhi pant kholkar lund dikha duna toh yahi par moot degi… phhir wo hoga, something special, something notable and eye-catching… R. kahi ki…”

“maine pahle hee kaha hai ki mujhe lip reading nahi aati…”

“ok. No problem.. let’s do this … but first let me know about the offer…”

“offer… offff…er… koyi offer nahi hai…”

“no offer , no sorry…”Vandana Rathi par apni pakad mazboot banate hue maine kaha…

“ok, aaj raat ko dinner, mere ghar me…”

“dinner…..done…”

Aur is tarah zindagi me pahli baar Yugpurush a.k.a. Shri Arman a.k.a. 3.0 a.k.a. 4-D man a.k.a. Arrogant Reputed Man ne na chahte hue bhi kisi ko sorry bola…jab office se sabke jaane ke baad maine Princi ko sorry bola toh uska chehra dekhna layak tha, wo us samay aise khush hui jaise kisi ne do-do lund uski choot me daal diye ho…. uski khushi ka toh thikana hee nahi tha aur khushi-khushi me…. it’s okay bolkar usne mujhe apne doodh se bhi laga liya… yahi hota hai jab koyi Yugpurush kisi tuchchh manav ko sorry bolta hai toh…. Par hazar baat ki ek baat ye hai ki maine sorry bola aur main chahe jitney bahane maar loon, chahe khud ko jitna bhi justify karu, sach toh yahi tha ki maine sorry bola… wo bhi ek ladki ko. Wo bhi jisne 59 logo ke saamne meri insult ki thi…
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Main jab bhi apne dosto ko ya phhir apne dushmano ko apne sahas ke kisse sunata hoon toh main aksar Police station ke us case ke baare me zaroor baat karta hoon jisme maine superintendent of police ke saamne Collector ke bete ki chhati me laat mari thi wo bhi police station me…. meri nazar me wo meri zindagi ka sabse zokhim bhara stunt tha… halaki uske pahle aur phhir uske baad me policewalo ne bhi mere sath stunt kiya tha… par wo collector ke bete ke chhati par laat marne ka jo moment tha na wo kamal ka tha… use soch kar main aaj bhi thrill ho jata hoon aur dil karta hai ki Ganga-Jamuna jakar Daddu ke saamne Ajmeri bai ko chodu… par phhir…. Anyway leave it.
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Sharda Entereprises me apna pahla din bitakar main auto se wapas aa raha tha… waise is samay sham ki 5:30 ya 6 bajne chahiye par jab maine ghadi me time dekha toh paya ki 8 baj rahe the… mujhe pata nahi ye kaise hua I mean main 5 baje Sharda Enterprises se chhutne ke baad 3 ghante maine kya kiya, mujhe kuch yaad nahi… mujhe toh bas itna yaad hai ki maine Princi ko sorry bola aur Collector ke launde ko marne wale incident ke baare me sochte hue main Sharda Enterprises se bahar nikla tha aur jab main apne ateet se wapas vartman me aaya tab raat ke 8 baj chuke the aur main sadak me bad-hawasi ki halat me chale jaa raha tha jiske baad River View Colony ke liye maine ek auto book kiya…. Ye thik aise hee tha jaise kisi ne ghadi me time aage badhaya ho aur time sachmuch me aage badh gaya….
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“what a concentration, man…I love it…”

“maza aaya na, abey ye toh kuch bhi nahi… ek baar toh raat se lekar subah tak main ghadi ki sui ko ginta raha aur jab mera concentration toota tab subah ho chuki thi… chal bol papa…”

“2.0 was better…”

“le… 2.0 better hota toh wo 3.0 me update hee kyun hota, tu 1.0 se better tha par main best hoon…”

“aaj office me maine dekh liya ki tu kitna best hai…”

“abey teri tarah chutiya nahi hoon main, main dimag se khelta hoon aur dimag se pelta hoon… yaha tak ki dimag se sex bhi kar leta hoon aur yadi chahu toh abhich bina lund chhuye dimag se mutth bhi mar sakta hoon”

“chal be, 8th semester ke baad tune sirf ek mardo wala kaam kiya hai… wo bhi David ko marne ka… usme bhi main tere sath tha… sath kya, darasal us kaam ko bhi maine hee anjaam diya tha, warna tu aise hee aand latkaye zindagi bhar David aur Varun ki ji-huzoori karte rahta…”

“bol toh aise raha hai jaise, NH-6 me roj tu hee kand karta hai… sale aaj tak kabhi gun dekhi bhi hai ? yaha main smuggling kar raha hoon guns ki… Sau guns ka order diyela hai maine daddu ko…sau guns ka”

“aur wahi guns Daddu ek-ek karke tere gand me dalega… phhir mat bolna ki… 2.0 bacha le mujhe…”

“chal be, tere jaise old version ke muh nahi lagta main…”

“tu chal be…”

“abey tu chal be…”